Alone in a Crowd...

There is a part of me that feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see, something that I can't quite feel,
Something so unreal but this 'thing' is always there,
Sometimes, I feel so lost and sad,
I can't fill this empty space; my heart is filled with the pain of loneliness.
I don't know the reason for the sorrow I feel,
You see me in my daily grind, so confident and strong;
I'm usually upbeat and happy.
Yet I feel I'm so alone, I question just where I belong.
Whatever caused this feeling must have been so horrible and bad.
A lost memory or something else, I'll never know,
Whatever it is, I know for sure...I can never let this feeling show.

I sometimes find I'm drifting through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly worth what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard to try to understand,
I often try too hard to find, to analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate the many trials that I have known, the life that I have.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard, perhaps I make it harder
To find me some meaning to this existence I call “life”...

But this is not a life...I want sweet songs and beauty of many things.
But I can't feel. I need to live and become me.
I need my family that is willing to love and understand.
Home is where the heart is. But where is my heart? Where did it gone to?