One for the men (i know i should not put this)

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. Turned out, she barely said "good morning", let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought, well, that's marriage for you, but the kids--- they'll remember.

My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So, when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane, said, "Good morning, Boss, and by the way, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday. Wha'd'ya say we go out to lunch, just you and me!"

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch, but not where we'd normally go; she chose, instead, a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day-- we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment! It's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake--- followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there--- on the couch--- --- naked.
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds..

...that's hillarious...first good laugh of the day...