Welcome to Sarcastics Anonymous, A group for those who like to have a laugh, crack a joke, take the piss, etc etc. Group Membership is exclusive. If you have EVER complained about the inappropriateness of a joke or taken offence to something the group members have said, then you are WELCOME to join our group. In fact Please do.
*For legal reasons Sarcastics Anonymous takes no responsibility for heart attacks, hissy fits, mental stress or nervous breakdowns caused by the content of this forum*
Enter at your own risk.
An updated format for television programme ‘World’s Strongest Man’ has been unveiled, revealing that the new show will include tests of a competitor’s emotional strength.
In a bid to compete with other emotionally-charged programmes such as Britain’s Got Retards and X F*ktor, World’s Strongest Man will now include tests of a competitors emotional fortitude.
TV psychologist Linda Papadopoulos has been drafted in to help with contest, explaining, ‘What we found with WSM was that it was purely testosterone fuelled, which is completely at odds with society’s view of a modern male human, and more importantly, what we want to see him doing on television.”
“We needed to test these men in highly-charged emotional settings in order to truly asses their strengths and weaknesses.”
Representatives from the emirate of Dubai announced with disappointment this week that its recent debt crisis has forced developers to halt construction on the city's long-planned 22-mile-long indoor mountain range.
The culmination of a decade's worth of ambitious and expensive building projects, Dubai's estimated $100 billion debt officially brought work on the artificial mountain range to a stop on Tuesday.
A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."
The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet:
"Ah've come to see thee abaht me cat."
"Is it a tom?"
"Nay lad, I've browt it wi' me."
Ok I've used all my sarcastic credits at work today so here's a crap joke instead.
Q: What does the US Airlines flight which crash-landed
in the Hudson have in common with the film Top Gun?
A: A plane went down and Goose died!
When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines ? Well here it is.....
It is the only place on earth where...
1. Every street has a basketball court.
2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
5. School is considered the second home and the MALL considered the third.
6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
9. Everything can be forged and/or copied.
10. All kinds of animals are edible. (but not all eats them)
the sarcastic smart *ss man, dave chapelle! love the guy.
not that it has anything to do with it but he's a muslim.
who's your favorite stand up comedian?
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat [Mod Removed].'
Which is the odd one out: Toyota Land Cruiser, Nissan Patrol, a porcupine ?
A porcupine has all the pricks on the outside......
Hey Sarcasters, any fans of the Sarcasm King here in the desert? Been his fan since the Daily Show days
DIANA MURDERED INQUEST HEARS
Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!!
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends ".
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means,
" With Idiot For Ever !!!"
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Police have discovered foot and mouth in the north of Scotland, it is reported. The location of the rest of Colin Macrae continues to puzzle Police...
A nun (no offences to anyone - its just a joke) gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says: I am gonna die soon but I want to have sex before I do, must remain a virgin so it must be anal and I cant commit adultry so the man must be single, can you fulfil my wish?
Driver: Yes and fukks her in the arse.
Then feeling guility says "I'm sorry I lied, I am married with 3 kids"
Nun: That's ok. My name is Kevin and I am going to a fancy dress party
This thread is dedicated to those wonderful classifieds that don't make any sense.
You don't have care? Rent a one
I wonder how much it costs to rent a care? what kind of care;s can you get?
Post any other funny classifieds here. :D
Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping.
The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"
Then the first guy turns around and says, " Hey Paul, shut up!"
Then two women come out and start stripping. Paul, once again, starts, "Yeah baby..mmmm....yeah!"
Once again the guy in front turns around and tells Paul to be quiet. So three women come out and start stripping. Paul is silent.
The guy in front says, "Hey Paul, where's all your excitement now?"
Paul says, "All over your back!"
Dont let this group get cold. lets make it running too.
So lets get bit psycho. hey nothing personal or serious plz. and no pointing at each other.
i bought a guide book for Greece. Now the country has burnt down.
Will lonely planet give me a refund?
Will i get money back from the Arsonists?
I want to sue because I am fed up.. it is a new book.
A similar situation occurred when i bought a guide book for pakistan... they had an earthquake.
even more inconsiderate is my middle east book. i am sure the maps for lebanon are not so accurate any more.
These events render my book useless and it isn't my fault.
luckily i wasnt affected by the tsunami a couple of years ago and it didn't impinge on any of my purchases.
on a good note an old map i had for Goma in Congo from a 20 year old guide book was surpisingly accurate despite volcano and a lot of tooing and froing with Hutu/Tusi refugees.
Is anyone else finding QL a little dull lately? No more trolls, nothing but "good morning" "I love you all" "Isn't the world peachy keen" posts. I don't know about anyone else but I miss the drama.
Questions and Answers
- Sample Budget and Cost of Living
- Qatar Schools Database
- Residents Guide to Qatar
- Siteseeing in Qatar
- Traffic Rules
- Attending a Qatari Wedding
- Gift ideas from Qatar
- Buying a used car in Qatar
- Renting in Qatar
- What to consider when renting in Qatar
- Preparing for Winter in Qatar
- Registering a birth in Qatar
- Blackberry phones in Qatar
- Old Qatar
- What's Happening in Qatar
- Online Shopping in Qatar
- What does Doha look like?