sMiLe (*_*)

Answering Machine Messages

1. Hi, this is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

2. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

3. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
Hello! If you leave a message, I"ll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.

4. Hi, John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. ... Please speak very slowly while I write down the message and I'll stick it to myself with one of these magnets.

5. This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

6. Hello, you've reached Jim and Carol. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Carol likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.