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International Wedding Customs & Traditions

azilana7037's picture

Traditions and customs... weddings are filled with them. "Something old, something blue..." and all that stuff! It's more than just trivia;

Have you ever stopped to wonder what on earth all of these wedding traditions and rituals actually mean and where or how they originated?

Since QatarLIVING is a diversified multi-national/cultural online/virtual community, let's talk about your COUNTRY's TRADITIONAL WEDDING CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS...

And at the very least, reading about them will fascinate, amaze, and maybe even amuse everyone of us...

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azilana7037's picture

azilana7037 said Pinoy (Filipino) Wedding Facts ...

Traditionally, wedding expenses are paid for by the groom's family in the Philippine setting, unlike in some western cultures. But more and more couples are giving their share from their hard-earned savings. Other couples even shoulder the entire wedding expenses themselves. It normally follows that whoever foots the bill has the final say on the size of the wedding; he or she also has the 'majority stake' on guestlist.

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i2kreativ's picture

i2kreativ said In India also it is ...

In India also it is there
tradionally it is very long process
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azilana7037's picture

azilana7037 said i2kreativ, do tell us ...

a bit of info or so...

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Winn's picture

Winn said Lol...Azi talkin abt Indian ...

Lol...Azi talkin abt Indian weddings, there are 28 states and customs and traditions vary very much from state to state.
Again each state has lots of different communities and the wedding styles again vary according to communities. The same community in two different states will have different customs.
Add to it 21 main languages and 1652 dialects u'll get a picture...if there's one!! :-p

Somebody told me, "You are what you eat".Now I know why I'm nuts!!

 

Mis-Cat's picture

Mis-Cat said "Tieing the Knot" ...

stems from the old pagan tradition of handfasting were by a length of cord or in the case of the celts a piece of tartan of the clan you are marring into is fastened around the left hands of the couple and tied into a knot the union lasts a year then the couple have another cerimony were they announce wether they wish the knot to be refastened or if they wish it untied and both parties go on their separate ways.

 

azilana7037's picture

azilana7037 said What I meant to say is... ...

what is the wedding customs and traditions for each country?

Like Germany, in brazil, or South Africa?

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MagicDragon's picture

MagicDragon said In Germany you ask the girl ...

In Germany you ask the girl if she wants to marry you. Or she asks you. (Some people inform their parents, but this is not required). Then you prepare your papers (birth certificate and ID) and walk to the "Standes Amt" (Wedding Office). You apply for a wedding date. It usually takes two weeks. During this time your application will be published in the office to give those who are against it (must be a real good reason) a chance to protest. Then you and two witnesses of your choice sign the certificate and you are married. It's damx hard to get a divorce, though.

 

azilana7037's picture

azilana7037 said Filipino Wedding Customs ...

Pamanhikan (The (often awkward) meeting of two families)

The blueprints of wedding plans are drawn or made known during this occasion. The pamanhikan is often hosted by the bride’s family as the groom and his folks visit them to formally ask their daughter’s hand in marriage and discuss plans for the upcoming wedding over lunch or dinner. This can be an uneasy situation if it’s the first time for both parties to meet. The soon-to-weds may feel a little awkward (nervous even) seeing and listening to their parents consult each other on matters like their wedding budget, guest list and the like.

It is customary that the visiting family bring a gift (often, the best home-cooked specialty of the groom’s mom) for the hosts. Others may opt to hold the meeting on neutral grounds (a restaurant is a likely choice) or invite a mutual acquaintance to the gathering and help ease the awkwarness of the first meeting. Why do Pinoys bother with all the trouble? We all seek our parents’ blessings for a happy and trouble-free marriage. Afterall, pamanhikan is a treasured Filipino heritage which, first and foremost, avoids the embarrassing situation of having the parents see each other as strangers come wedding day.

Paninilbihan (Laboring for a family’s approval)

Paninilbihan is said to be a long-forgotten tradition where the suitor performs some daunting chores for the bride’s family to show his worth, fortitude and responsibility. Tasks like pagsibak ng kahoy (firewood chopping) or pag-igib ng tubig (water fetching) come to mind. But this ritual is still sub-consciously practiced in these modern times, only on a much simpler scale (thank goodness!).

As Filipinos parents prefer the boyfriend to pay a visit to their daugther in their house rather than date elsewhere, he is considered as an unofficial part of the household rather than a mere guest. Thus, it comes as no surprise when family members ask simple favors from him such as driving the girlfriend’s mother to the supermarket or replacing a busted light in the kitchen. Come to think of it, future sons- or daughters-in-law are expected to run some simple errands for their would-be-in-laws if he/she seeks their approval. These little favors form part of the paninilbihan process still deeply imbibed in the Filipino psyche.

Pa-alam (Wedding announcements, Filipino style)

The practice of pa-alam (to inform) should not be confused with the Pilipino term ” paalam” (goodbye). Though less formal than the pamanhikan, pa-alam is another gesture appreciated by Filipino elders as a sign of respect. Basically, the practice is just a round of casual diplomatic visits and ‘courtesy calls’ to people who matter most to the couple (usually elder relatives in the province). The spouse-to-be is introduced to the people visited and informed of the impending wedding to secure their blessings. Couples may choose to do this at a family reunion while handing over the wedding invitations to save on trips. This is also the period when soon-to-weds visit their prospective ninongs or ninangs (godparents/principal sponsors) for the wedding and it is customary to bring a little something for the person visited (a basket of fruits is a popular choice).

Since the ‘major hurdle’ is over and done with after the pamanhikan, pa-alam should be a breeze. Couples should remain patient though as some elders may ask them to recount their love story, give a litany about married life, or ask the groom-to-be about his line of work and family background.

Dulog (Meeting a ‘father’ other than the future spouse’s)

The term “dulog” literally means “approach.” This is the time were soon-to-weds approach their parish priest for a meeting. In the past, this was done in reverence to the priest who served as a “father” to either the bride- or groom-to-be. It was once considered a necessary visit especially when the future spouse is somebody unfamiliar or from outside the parish.

Presently, dulog (Canonical/pre-nuptial interview) is a church requirement where the parish priest discusses with the couple their duties and responsibilities as husband and wife. The interview also serves the purpose of finding any possible impediments to the impending union and determining the couple’s readiness to wed and knowledge about the doctrines of a Catholic marriage. This visit will be a good time to ask the priest whatever questions they may have related to the upcoming church wedding.

Despedida de Soltera (A wholesome bachelorette party)

The despedida de soltera (literally, goodbye to spinsterhood) is a send-off party held close to the wedding date in honor of the bride-to-be and hosted by her family. This celebrates her family’s consent and blessings for the upcoming union. The groom and his family, the wedding entourage, close friends & relatives from both sides are all invited to meet and get to know one another before the big day. The occasion may serve as the formal introduction of the two families/clans to each other. This affair can be anything from a formal sit-down dinner to a casual get-together party.

Kasal Kumpisal (Coming ‘clean’ before the ceremony)

This is more of a moral obligation than a tradition required by the Church of every marrying Catholic couple. A few days prior the wedding, soon-to-weds are asked to have their final confessions with a priest as single individuals since they will partake in the bread and share the wine (symbolic of the Body and Blood of Christ) during the Nuptial Mass. The confessions serve as a spiritual cleansing for the sins committed prior to the Sacrament of Marriage and a commitment & devotion to one’s lifetime partner.

So...how is it in your country???

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Fatcat's picture

Fatcat said In Brazil weddings are ...

In Brazil weddings are usually at night, bride wears a white gown, there are several "padrinhos" (like godparents) on each side (bride's and groom's), there's a flower girl, the wedding band is a plain band and normally the wedding is paid for by the bride's parents. Nowadays this tradition is falling away and the couples are paying for the wedding themselves.
The weddings usually take place at a big church and the bride and groom invite a lot of people. Only a few selected get invited to the reception afterwards.

 

swissgirl39's picture

swissgirl39 said Swiss is same as Germany,so read the comment above ...

normally its not a big drama getting married here.
the bride in white,the groom smoking.but today you can have any marriage style you want.a biker marriage,a wild west style marriage,some marry in an airplain...nothing is impossible...use your fantasy and so it will be...
cheers and happy wedding ceremony...
;D
//www.flamewordmaker.com

 

Alexa's picture

Alexa said Magic...'tis not hard at all ...

Magic...'tis not hard at all to get a divorce in Germany...all you need is a lawyer, a reason...and there you go....wait six months to a year,sign the paper and you are free.

A sense of humour is just common sense dancing, sadly, common sense has left the building and is dancing somewhere else.
Alexa

 

MagicDragon's picture

MagicDragon said Alexa, with "hard" I meant ...

Alexa, with "hard" I meant "expensive". I've been through it.

 

Alexa's picture

Alexa said Really...I think it depends ...

Really...I think it depends on the case...if both agree and are reasonable people, there should not be any problems.

A sense of humour is just common sense dancing, sadly, common sense has left the building and is dancing somewhere else.
Alexa

 

MagicDragon's picture

MagicDragon said Both agreeing is considered ...

Both agreeing is considered the exception. In most cases it is a war.

 

Vegas's picture

Vegas said So how do you get married here in Doha?????? ...

Forgiveness is life...:)


 

Alexa's picture

Alexa said Yes, sadly so, especially ...

Yes, sadly so, especially when children are involved...:(

A sense of humour is just common sense dancing, sadly, common sense has left the building and is dancing somewhere else.
Alexa

 

MagicDragon's picture

MagicDragon said Finally somebody peaceful. ...

Finally somebody peaceful. Thanks, Alexa.

 

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