Famous Quotes about Wives

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

********

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

********

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

********

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

********

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

********

The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

********

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

********

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

********

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

********

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

********

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

********

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

********

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

********

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

********

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

********

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

********

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

********

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

********

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

************