laughing is good.....

A Case for More Beer
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

A Mime in a Zoo
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

Okay those were lame may be this?……

07/12/02
"Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated."
---Garry Trudeau
03/09/02
"Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it."
---Salvador Dali
03/09/02
"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments."
---Jim Morrison
03/09/02
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
---Gilda Radner
11/30/01
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'"
---Unknown

06/29/01
"Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties!"
---Unknown

03/30/01
"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy."
---Unknown

08/31/00
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
---Franklin Jones
08/31/00
"Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood."
---Cal Thomas
06/28/00
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
---Tori Filler
06/28/00
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
---Steven Wright
05/28/00
"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
---Ed Asner

01/30/00
"Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them."
---Unknown

06/24/99
"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog."
---Unknown
06/24/99
"He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke."
---Unknown

No? Then YOU come up with something to make us laugh!
How about some more laughter here eh?