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Taking a 2nd wife?
Can a Muslim man take a second wife without the first wife knowing? If she finds out, after the fact, what can she do about it?
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HAPPYDAY said
Yes he can and she cant do ...Yes he can and she cant do much.
MagicDragon said
She can divorce him. I ...She can divorce him. I learnt here on QL that men and women have equal rights in Islam. Or were they lying to me?
umhamad said
But what rights would she ...But what rights would she have financially and with regards to her children and housing if she divorced him because of him taking a second wife?
Supernurse said
shoot him while he sleeps ...shoot him while he sleeps seems a good solution!
MagicDragon said
It would be more interesting ...It would be more interesting to see what would happen if a woman married two guys.
someonenew said
Agree with Super Nurse that ...Agree with Super Nurse that she can and IMHO shud do:)
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
Supernurse said
Or a man married two men ...Or a man married two men even, or a man had a woman and a man as a wife....mmmmmmmm
MagicDragon said
That would fall under "gay" ...That would fall under "gay" marriage. Not allowed!
Supernurse said
No Shit Sherlock! ...No Shit Sherlock!
notfromhere said
umhamad, this probably isn't ...umhamad, this probably isn't the place to come if you want a serious answer to a question like this. This topic has come up before. You could try to do a search and try to sift through all the crazy anwers and dig out the serious ones.
Or better yet, speak to an attorney.
someonenew said
Hey thats an interesting ...Hey thats an interesting thought MD and Supernurse, now i'm thinking if it was ok in Islam to have 4 wives is it ok for gay men to have more than 1 wife(men wives)????
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
MagicDragon said
So, in other words, allowing ...So, in other words, allowing a Muslim man to marry more than one woman and not allowing a Muslim woman to marry more than one man is what is called "equality". Now, I understand.
someonenew said
oh ok! I dream of a better ...oh ok!
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
greentea said
some wives had interesting solutions ...when the husband is sleeping, the wife cuts "it"
Supernurse said
Nah, who the hell would want ...Nah, who the hell would want more than one husband? Ones enough! Men are stupid enough to want more wives! Yuck...all those hormonal birds around.....
HAPPYDAY said
she will loose out where ...she will loose out where money comes into it if she divorce him, she will get some but not as much as if divorce comes from him.
umhamad said
I have searched and haven't ...I have searched and haven't come up with any suitable answers.
MagicDragon said
Again, equality at its best! ...Again, equality at its best!
sameerah said
having 2 wives is not a problem.... ...if you need more than 1 wife, its ok for as long as you can afford to give all their needs equally. Good luck and enjoy having 2 wives...
Supernurse said
the question doesn't demand ...the question doesn't demand a suitable answer!
HAPPYDAY said
It needs facts supernurse, ...It needs facts supernurse, not oppinions.
Platao36 said
I read that muslim women are ...I read that muslim women are asking muslim men to promess that they'll be the only one, my girlfriend asked me the same just that i ain't muslim, yet ;)
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
Supernurse said
facts are the husband is a ...facts are the husband is a sly calculating bustard...theres the facts ....
MagicDragon said
Fact is that there are ...Fact is that there are Muslim men with more than two wifes. Fact is that there are no Muslim women with more than one men.
HAPPYDAY said
Sorry super, what I mean to ...Sorry super, what I mean to say is that she seems to be looking to the facts of the situation, not the rights or wrongs. We all have our own idea about that and what we would like to do the guys involved! These kind of topics tend to get long and mixed up with opinion, would be hard 4 her to find some really useful answers, unless she was looking 4 ideas on how to finish him off!!! lol
MagicDragon said
Platao, even when you ...Platao, even when you convert to marry your Marrocan girlfriend, promise me you're not going to marry another one, or you won't be my friend anymore.
MagicDragon said
double post ...double
Eco-savvy said
Ummhamad if you are real then you should know ...islamic question should be askd thru scholars. No one is Scholar here
Do you want to hear kuffar views, they have beer in one hand and they type with other hand
Supernurse said
If you want to hear a racist ...If you want to hear a racist pigs views look at Eco-savvys.....touche honey...
Eco-savvy said
Supernurse you dont have to be nosey parker ...when it comes to islamic question leave it YOU DONT KNOW ISLAM
HAPPYDAY said
eco-savvy scholars will give ...eco-savvy scholars will give u only how it SHOULD be in Islam, not how it is when u actually go to the court.
Eco-savvy said
I will not comment when i dont know the topic ...but you guys have no life, and Islam is not pass time
Alexa said
Eco...seriously, you are a ...Eco...seriously, you are a sorry excuse for a human being...none the less for a woman.
Shame!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
MagicDragon said
Eco-savvy, can a Muslim ...Eco-savvy, can a Muslim woman marry two man? Yes, or No? If "No", then there is no equality in Islam!
Eco-savvy said
We have grt service ASK HUDA ...We can dial and ask the scholar
Supernurse said
I'm a terrible nosey ...I'm a terrible nosey parker....but infact this is a public forum where I can post what I want and where I want...... you come on this thread with a blatant racist remark lovey.....very spiritual of you....
Eco-savvy said
Why would a woman need two men ...we just cant handle one pregnancy, yeah imagine giving birth every nine months, would know who the father is
now just dont talk about DNA bla bla
Alexa said
Eco...you need to get off ...Eco...you need to get off what ever you are on...it is scary!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Supernurse said
Eco-savvy...have you had too ...Eco-savvy...have you had too many beers love?
Eco-savvy said
Alexa you forgot ur days when u were exposed ...havent you
MagicDragon said
Why would you get pregnant? ...Why would you get pregnant? Are you that stupid?
Eco-savvy said
Alexa lovely, Just look at my points ...and how selective I am, my words are golden
i just dont use them on any topic
smoke said
ok people i asked this same ...ok people i asked this same question to a muslim friend of mine about why a man can take more than one wife and a woman can't...its common sense he said...When one man has many wives its easy to know who the father is when they get pregnant. If a woman has many husbands its NOT ;) now dont tell me about DNA testing coz all that wasnt there years ago when Islam started. Now that we know the answer to this question we can all get on with our evening.
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
Supernurse said
What a load of pap! Its just ...What a load of pap! Its just an excuse to get a leg over with a different woman every night!
HAPPYDAY said
See this is why its so hard ...See this is why its so hard 4 people to search and find answers on this site, cuz it turns into a mud slanging competition. We all have our opinions but this woman was asking 4 facts. So anyone who can help her should, other people should just leave it.
MagicDragon said
You can't help her. She ...You can't help her. She can't do anything as long as he treats her the same as his second and third and fourth wife. That's the beauty about being a male Muslim.
Alexa said
Eco...me exposed? What, you ...Eco...me exposed? What, you saw me nekkid???????
And ohhh, your selective ,golden words...all pales in comparison...yep!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Eco-savvy said
Happyday its obligatory for every muslim to Study Quran ...and hadith. And stay connected to Islamic centre's
when you are not practising muslim this is what happens
we ask Sam,Ram and Mary
Alexa said
Umhamad, I would suggest you ...Umhamad, I would suggest you to go to a authority on the subject. Since you are Muslim, I am fairly sure you know where to go.
Wish you the best of luck! :)
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
HAPPYDAY said
i can help her by giving the ...i can help her by giving the facts.
Supernurse said
Happyday, I take it that ...Happyday, I take it that includes your unhelpful comments too does it?
vickyk1 said
Why.. ...would anyone put ANY personal topic on a public blog It's like going on the "Jerry Springer Show" and expect to be taken seriously. I feel bad for these people and hope they can find help..even if it comes from a "Dial a Scholar" it at least will be kept as it should be, private!
Alexa said
Well, at least Sam, Ram and ...Well, at least Sam, Ram and Mary have some compassion, which can't be said of you, so far, Eco.
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Supernurse said
Then give her the facts ...Then give her the facts then!
Alexa said
Vicky....ah...never ...Vicky....ah...never mind....
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Supernurse said
Whos Sam,Ram and Mary?? The ...Whos Sam,Ram and Mary?? The Holy Trinity On Line....
HAPPYDAY said
super, where was i ...super, where was i unhelpful? i have given her the facts in a PM.
Supernurse said
Well, you didn't give any ...Well, you didn't give any facts in your posts as others didn't.....I hope she's sorted through your PM though...
MagicDragon said
Can you help me, too. I am a ...Can you help me, too. I am a Muslim women. Can I marry a second husband without telling him? Please help.
Eco-savvy said
Compassion is the word given by Islam ...Allah is Rahman(compassionate) and I am his slave
HAPPYDAY said
my first and secon post were ...my first and secon post were facts super. u dont seem to be in the best of moods today. hope ur ok :)
Supernurse said
Lol MD I wonder what the ...Lol MD I wonder what the answer to that would be??mmmmmm its a toughie!
MagicDragon said
That doesn't help me. I saw ...That doesn't help me. I saw my brother marry a second wife. I want to know if I can do it, too.
Supernurse said
lol Happyday....no, no, I'm ...lol Happyday....no, no, I'm ok thanks my fingers are in an irritable mood lol time for them to go to bed.....:)
smoke said
Ladies!! Ladies! please ...Ladies!! Ladies! please there are far more important things in QL to fight over than over who can have more wives! If you must, who wants to fight over who can cuddle up with my Kitty Kat in their laps? any takers? let the fight begin.....
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
MagicDragon said
Bye, Supernurse. I won't get ...Bye, Supernurse. I won't get an answer. Useless thread.
Alexa said
Good Eco...learn from HIM ...Good Eco...learn from HIM then.
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Amoud said
Umhamad ask this question in ...Umhamad ask this question in islam online. You can get an answer from one of the Imams.. or better yet take yourself on down to the ministry of Awqaf,Qatar guest center or Fanar. If you dont want to go down there give them a call, Q-tel can give you the number for both.
Reality is there isnt much you can do, he is supposed to consult you out of courtesy but sadly enough it doesnt happen. If you divorce him you give up the rights to your divorce money and depending on the age and sex of your children you may also not keep custody of them. A lot of women in this situation wait until they go on holiday to their countries and stay with their parents to keep the kids. You may not hold onto them for long but it is worth a try.
The reasoning behind multiple wives was to ensure that war widows, divorced women etc had someone to take care of them. This was practical in the time of the prophet when war widows were left stranded as women really didnt have the ability to earn a living like we do today.
Islam permits up to 4 wives if you can be fair to them all equally, but if I am correct ot also says in the Quran that you cannot be fair... you can interpret this as you like but I think it is pretty obvious. Polygamy is not encouraged but I think people can use this to their advantage, which I think is abusing it a bit.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
countrylady13 said
SUPERNUSRE ...U HAD BAD WEEKEND, SOUND VERY ANGRY
a merry can muslim said
Magic Dragon men and women ...Magic Dragon men and women are not the same and are not equal in the dunya so stop with your BS... It is ever so redundant and mundane... Get a life dude... If you don't like Islam then go back to friggin Germany...
They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to see it... --George Carlin
MagicDragon said
Some people having a problem ...Some people having a problem dealing with equal human beings of the female sex. I got it.
PhillyEagles2007 said
I see how it is. ...I know I joined the thread a little late but I am suprised no one called out Supernurse for her shoot him while he is sleeping comment. So if Eco Savy is a racist according to you for her statement, what does that little comment of yours make you? Even if you claim to be joking that was a vile and despicable comment. I wonder what the reaction would have been if someone would have said that a woman who has sex out of marriage should be shot in her sleep.
Ibrahim Fletcher
PhillyEagles2007 said
MD equality and being the ...MD equality and being the same are two different things. In the sight of Allah men and women are equal but we have different rights and roles. For example, my wife works but Islamically she doesn't have to spend her money on the bills if she doesn't want to. I on the other hand have to maintain the house and provide for my family. So does that mean that I am being discriminated against? No it means that even though my wife and I are equal, we are not the same.
Ibrahim Fletcher
MagicDragon said
You can have four wives, she ...You can have four wives, she cannot have four husbands, Philly. If you call that "equal" then you are bullshit*ing me.
PM said
MD, I think you are confusing "equal" with ..."equitable" in many of these cases you raise. Men and women are generally different in nature (although surely there is some variation) and God has taken this into consideration. So while the term "equal" may not apply in the strictest sense, "equitable" does.
Now, that said I am not a supporter of the way polygyny is practiced today, not to mention that times have changed from the days of our Prophet (saw) when he communicated God's first limits on polygyny. But I do think there is factual information that can help this poster.
A man does not have to take the permission of his first wife according to Shariah but there are some countries that have added that stipulation. A woman who initiates the divorce (khula) because of her husband taking a 2nd wife has a lot to lose financially. And as for people who say that the man MUST treat the women fairly and support them equitably -- yes, this is the religious dictate. The problem is we do not have the mechanisms in our societies to insure this happens. However, we believe that God sees all and that husband WILL face the day of judgment.
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
mjamille28 said
total BS... when a guy ...total BS... when a guy cheats, it's ok, when it's the girl does it, it's a biggie... where's the equality in that?
deedee said
true story: ...Here in Doha I know a Filipino couple. He wanted to start a relationship with another woman. He was Christian and actually did have a few (very few) morals and did not want to have an affair. His solution? He became a "muslim" (in name only) so that he could have 2 wives. 1st wife ended up divorcing him.
mjamille28 said
wife's better off without ...wife's better off without him anyway,...
deedee said
yes ...definitely agree. It was hard to watch her and her 11 year old daughter suffer though.
Alexa said
It is stated clearly in the ...It is stated clearly in the holy Quran what the reasons are to take more than one wife. Plus, the differences between Prophet Mohammed pbu,and other men taking more than 1 wife are also clearly stated and explained. Further more, it is clearly discouraged, at least in Qur'aan that I am reading, to take more than one wife.
My 2 cents.
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
blablabla said
MajicDragon what the hell is ...MajicDragon what the hell is your cry here? that a man can have more wifes then why not woman is your rhetoric, right? well, then I have four wifes among them is a mad, stupid one who wants to marry another man because I did. Are you interested to marry her?
just blahblah;
blablabla said
Alexa Its not discouraged in ...Alexa Its not discouraged in Holy Quran if you believe..
just blahblah;
Alexa said
Bla...it is in the Qur'aan I ...Bla...it is in the Qur'aan I am reading.
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
blablabla said
Alexa, Quran says marry four ...Alexa, Quran says marry four if you can, only one if cann't..
SheDBabe said
to answer your Questions ...Umhamad,,non of us are scholars or lawyers..Nonetheless from what I know a man should do unto others what he would like for himself..Would he for example like if his sister's husband were to take a second wife without her knowledge?No he wouldn't so likewise he should do the same to his wife..This is purely in answer to your question "Can a Muslim man take a second wife without the first wife knowing?" As for your next question"If she finds out, after the fact, what can she do about it?" She can as MD said divorce him..I know many women who have. Please bare in mind I'm only a layman(or woman!)..This is from the knowledge I've gathered & of course the scholars upon the Quran & Sunna will give you a better answer & Allah knows best!
Alexa said
Bla...this is, again, not ...Bla...this is, again, not what the qur'an I am reading says.
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
blablabla said
SheDbabe, Do you think ...SheDbabe, Do you think Prophet then didn't mind his beloved daughter's husband Ali taking a second wife besides Prophet's daughter? If so when the prophet didn't mind then why should the men now?
blablabla said
Alexa just read what Quran ...Alexa just read what Quran says in chapter Nisa
3. And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three
or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands
possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice. (Pikhtal translation)
SheDBabe said
Your right blabla.. ...But its not taking a another wife that's Umhamad's question..Her question is can he do so without the knowledge of the first wife, & that I feel is wrong..Mind you this same question has been raised among the scholars & they have given pretty much the same answer I did..After all the Propet, Peace be upon him, always kept his wives aware when he took another so that's the sunnah.
britexpat said
Once again we go off into the same old argument about religion. ...The questions asked was simple and the answers as given are simple also.
Can a Muslim man take a second wife without the first wife knowing?
A: Yes.
If she finds out, after the fact, what can she do about it?
A: She can choose to continue as his wife or opt for divorce.