1. You refer to your dad's friends as Amoo "Uncle"
2. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Arabic.
3. After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their tea...
4. Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer
5. You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out
6. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room
7. You have at least 30 cousins
8. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house
9. You say bye 20 times on the phone
10. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls
11. Your mother does everything for you if you are male
12. You do all the housework and cooking if you are female
13. Your relatives alone could populate a small city
14. You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate
15. You teach Westerners swearwords in Arabic
16. You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on"
17. Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
18. You've had a shoe thrown at you by your mother
19. You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.
20. Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black
21. Your father is a doctor, engineer or accountant
22. You have a Persian rug in every room
23. You actually like yogurt drinks
24. You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life
25. You wonder whether a cute girl is Arabic and go up to ask her just to start a conversation
26. You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold
27. Your friends tell you to be quiet when you are on the phone with your family because now you are screaming at the top of your lungs
28. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years
29. You hide everything from your parents
30. Everyone is a family friend
31. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see at least twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up
32. One of your aunt's weighs over 300 pounds
33. Your family, relatives and close family friends keep on bugging you to get married and when you finally think you found the right person, they don't like him/her.
34. You're proud to be an Arab!
So do you have things in common with that ?
Ilhama said
It is very mean to post smth ...It is very mean to post smth like that and I hope you will apologise for this.
And I AM NOT ARAB AT ALL AND DOESNT MATTER WHAT NATIONALITY I AM.
PEOPLE, PLEASE BE MORE INCLUSIVE WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
Mandilulur said
Uh oh, here we go ...Uh oh, here we go again?
Mandi
jacki said
shame on you i don't know ...shame on you i don't know were are you from but again i am not an arab but you are here eating there food and earning money you should have better topics to discuss.we all have bad things in our cultures and an aunt who is over 300kg is very common in america and england just an example ok??????????
dweller said
Maybe this ...could only come from a consultant with too much time on his hands and that likes salsa, likes to dine out and speaks French?
tallg said
Man, some people on QL need ...Man, some people on QL need to lighten up a bit. Jokes are jokes, and this one's pretty tame. Most nations/religions/races have learnt to laugh at themselves a bit every now and then. Try it, it's good for you.
nadt said
I thought this was funny, ...I thought this was funny, and im Arab, come one its only a joke, and i might add something that was very familair and funny growing up in our household..
exiledsaint said
People are really sensitive today. ...Maybe they should renamed the site Qatar Living Reactionaries....... and before anyone asks I'll be happy to read something similar about the Brits. I could do with a good laugh....
I'll start you off.
You know you are British if you think steak and kidney pie is a delicacy...
mr_listener said
?? ...'Amoo Bens' guess thats who u r in real life :P
seems like the story of ur life in 34 points!
coz non else can list-in so easy... it must be very hard being urself...
Alexa said
I think is it goodhearted ...I think is it goodhearted fun...by the way....how many nationalities would fit this...quite a few I think!
So, calm down people and have a chuckle! CSI !
Btw...I am a very proud honorary Lebanese!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
dweller said
exiledsaint ...I thought it was!
Mandilulur said
I LOVE steak and kidney pie ...I LOVE steak and kidney pie - where can you get it here in Qatar? (And yes, before you ask, I am trying to hijack this thread.)
Mandi
qatarisun said
i liked the joke as well... ...i liked the joke as well... nothing is insulting...light cute irony..
I even started thinking, based on these jokes may be I am an Arab too?? :):)
tallg said
Good steak pie at the golf ...Good steak pie at the golf club, no kidney in it though.
Mandilulur said
Haven't been there yet, will ...Haven't been there yet, will try it! Thanks. My husband prefers it without the renal matter, too.
Mandi
Alexa said
QS....I am a honorary ...QS....I am a honorary one...and proud of it!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
fishermanalex said
it is nice from my point of ...it is nice from my point of view a am an Arab ..Egyptian and u fined it funny ...other QL members plz cool down ...
qatarisun said
Good evening Alexa... long ...Good evening Alexa... long time..:) how r u doing??
Saddavi said
you are arab if...... u ...you are arab if...... u swear 50 times per hour.
qatarisun said
oh.. i know all swearing in ...oh.. i know all swearing in arabic... I never say it though.. :(
can i still be considered an arab? :(
jacki said
not everybody will take ...not everybody will take things here as a joke,and making jokes between yourselves arabs is fun but when you announce it to the world as here i do not think everybody will consider it as a joke
Oryx said
You know your arab if... ...You know your Arab if you like 5 spoons of sugar in your tea!
It made me laugh because some we can all identify with...like number 26
Lighten up Jacki...geezzzzzzzzz
Mira said
I am an Arab too and loved ...I am an Arab too and loved it. Will be forwarding it to my siblings. Thanks for sharing :)
Alexa said
Well then, the ones not ...Well then, the ones not considering it a joke are simply going to miss out on the fun...too bad so sad!
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
daiwai said
also applies to ... ...Chinese
If you're living life on the edge, you've got too much room.
Alexa said
Oh and you KNOW you are an ...Oh and you KNOW you are an Arab if you can drink 5 cups of turkish and your hands don't start shaking.....and YES....I can! lol
You mess with the cat, you get the claws....
Oryx said
Daiwai ...a lot of it applies to Mexicans as well...esp the cousin bit...
nadt said
lol Alexa, try a a big ...lol Alexa, try a a big pot(raqwa)and yep still dont shake...
gopalestine said
Uncle bens you should thank ...Uncle bens you should thank your god that you are here in Arab country ,And you have to remember Arab giving you a big salary and an Arab let you drive a nice car and you don't pay any taxes here, unlike your country. This is the problem with people like you. When we feed them they talk bad about us and because we are jealous people they think we are crazy. Really you have to look at your self before you talk about your Arab uncles
baldrick2dogs said
Steak & Kidney Pie ...is available at the Old Manor in the Mercure hotel ... and very nice it is too :O)
Did you Google it first?
Amoud said
This is so funny.... I love ...This is so funny.... I love the no shoes part, big one in our house....
How come no one gets upset at the whole US "You might be a redneck" stint. Thats far more insulting.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
notfromhere said
This was funny! As an ...This was funny! As an honorary Arab by marriage, I could sooo relate! And like some others pointed out, plenty of other nationalities can identify with parts of this.
Innocent fun.
Amoud, we never wear shoes in our house, my kids just aren't used to it. But when we go to the in-laws, my kids have learned to wear shoes or at least flip-flops, otherwise they know Mama (their grandma) will put a pair of her slippers on them, lol!
Andrews said
Gopalestine.. why u are over ...Gopalestine.. .why u are over reacting
this is a joke..if you do a little search in Qatar living you will get similar kind of jokes about every nationalities ..Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..
zayd said
you know there's been too ...you know there's been too much in-breeding in your family when...
1)you overreact to a thread like this.
Uncle Bens said
For this jacki, dwelle and Ilhama..: ...For this jacki, dwelle and Ilhama..:
1. I'll not come down to ur level, because I'm arab and I'm very proud of my identity and my culture, so different from yours..
2. I feel really sorry for your biased mind
3. As the title indicate, this topic is NOT FOR YOU
4. The most important thing to me that my arab brothers take it positively and everyone of us find himself in this joke, and I don't care about ur opinion…
5. Once again I'm ARAB and I'm very proud of it especially when :
- My relatives alone could populate a small city :p
- My parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
- I see at least twenty-five members of my family who have come to pick me up from the airport :)
- One of my aunt's weighs over 300 pounds
I'm different, I’m proud of it ;)
toyota_it said
Maybe you can add as point ...Maybe you can add as point no 35.
35.Your uncle cannot take a joke, he gets angry, then when you tell him it is only a joke, he acts as if he is pacified, but still remains angry:)
amnesia said
lol a few corrections about ...lol a few corrections about Gulf Arabs
1. You refer to your dad's friends as Amoo "Uncle"
We say Amee for uncle and call dad's friend Khalee not amoo.
19. You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.
Is this a syrian or lebanese thing?
Alot of them are quite true though :P
Mr. Q's Blog - A Qatari's view on Qatar.
__________________________
svelte_saggi said
OMG!!! ...that was so funny,really!!!!hahahaha!
Keep smiling!
Saggi!
dacount1229 said
It was just light hearted ...It was just light hearted humor. Some of you people need to chill out.
عبد الرحمن قطر said
Abdu Alrahman A'Arab Man ...thank you ; your jokes make me laughing deeply
I swear , I swear , I swear , I swear , I swear ,.... I'm A'Arab only five times swearing I think you need to add ( 0 ) to be ( 50 ) times .
Thanks again, nice jokes
manishapant said
some one posted "how to spot ...some one posted "how to spot an indian".so many points were same........
davidpearlshaun said
I see some of my American ...I see some of my American heritage in there as well as my wife's (Filipina) and some Italian and some european. So what's the big deal-laugh at yourself-it's fun. Hehehehe I'm American and our President can't speak proper English. He contradicts himself every other sentence and he still claims the Iraqi war is not about oil. Where's the horrific weapons? HAHAHAHA
You know you're a redneck if your working TV is sitting on top of a broken TV.
davidpearlshaun said
I want to learn some Arabic ...I want to learn some Arabic swear-PM me. THX
Flammable said
ohh common.. only 34 ...ohh common.. only 34 reasons?
-- F L A M M A B L E --
nazek said
I'm partially Arabic I took ...I'm partially Arabic I took no offense actually it was a very nice joke and I've heard it ages ago on other nationalities, no need to take offense take it easy guys.
askme said
hahaha,,, nice but true,,, ...Nice but true............
Uncle Bens said
So we can conclude from this ...So we can conclude from this joke that Arab culture is family oriented, warmth and hospitality is in everyday life...
How about others, tell us more about your culture :
- You are Kabayan if...
- You are french if...
- You are indian if...
Close minded people, this topic is not 4 u !!
take it easy guys ;)
britexpat said
Saw exactly the same thing, but for Indians.. ...Sad thing is that many apply to my family as well, so I could be an Arab..
Platao36 said
lol uncle ben that's so ...lol uncle ben that's so funny :)
You are portuguese if you:
2. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Portuguese
8. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house
I'll try to add some more later :)
Only God Can Judge Me
الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي
I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer
أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ
Shahrzad said
Arabs have many cousins, bcs ...Arabs have many cousins, bcs they have tribes and strong ties among themselves. I have some Arab relatives also
I have some very nice Arab friends from Lebanon, Palestine, Morocco and Egypt..
BTW, lebanes culture is the most liberal one in the arab world..
Some of what you said is individually about Arabs of Arabian peninsula anyway.
aprilfamily said
My husband's Arab... ...and this fits him and his family to a T! C'mon people, it wasn't meant to be unkind, it was just a joke. We just spent the summer with them and I would say that probably 90% of this list is true of them.
Actually it made me feel better knowing that throwing shoes at your kids is "normal" as when my sister-in-law did it, I was horrified!! LOL!!
Every nationality has their own little quirks. Why not just acknowledge them and get a laugh out of it rather than try to pretend we are all perfect.
abbbes said
HOW ABOUT IF YOUR ARE NOT ...HOW ABOUT IF YOUR ARE NOT ARAB???
Amoud said
Hmm, lets see. You know you ...Hmm, lets see.
You know you are arab if you have to offer someone the same piece of cake 10 times before they accept it when they really wanted to take it the first time you offered.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Uncle Bens said
Absolutly right Amoud :)) ...Absolutly right Amoud :))
notfromhere said
You know you are Arab when ...You know you are Arab when you answer the phone and the caller asks "How are you, How is the family, How are the kids" at least 6 or 7 times before getting around to what they're calling about! :-)
britexpat said
Amoud.. ...You know you are Arab, If you standing next to the largest suitcases at conveyor belt !
Amoud said
lol Brit, .. or how about if ...lol Brit, .. or how about if you bring present for your family and extended family when you go home for a visit.
...or... if you go on vacation the baggage scan will show at least 5 food items in your luggage.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
britexpat said
Amoud.. ...This is a true story that happened to me and I am relating it for fun, without any intention to insult anyone..
I arrived at Riyadh Airport at the same time as an Egyptian Airways flight. So the passengers merged when we got to customs..
The lady in front of me had "two goat's heads and a couple of cooked chickens" in her luggage.
We were in stitches when the argument ensued between her and the customs guy..
Amoud said
lol... our Egyptian Mandoob ...lol... our Egyptian Mandoob brought me a present from Egypt also, a frozen turkey and a frozen chicken, both with their tiny little heads still attached.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Uncle Bens said
what about australians !? ...what about australians !?
Amoud said
Hmmm... Australians....First ...Hmmm... Australians....First let me apologize to all those from the land down under who may take offense.
I found this rant and thought you might enjoy.
You know you're Australian if ...
1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.
11. You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
19. You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread.
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.
25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.
30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.
32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
tnaljam said
1- I'm proud to be arabic ...1- I'm proud to be arabic guy...when i get married...more than 1000 of my relative attend my marriage celebration. by the way i know all of them very well.
2- you can find fat poeple wherever you go, and this is not shame.
3- when i come back to my home country in vacation, i found around 5 cars waiting me and more than 100 person at home. this is honorable.
4- when i was graduted from the university, 50-70 car participate in driving me home. more than 150 person.
and after what i mentioned, do you think that is shame or honor.