Classic Definitions & Meanings

1. Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

2. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

3. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

4. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

5. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

6. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be

done together.

7. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

8. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

9. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

10. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-

day test.

11. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her

Master.

12. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

13. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the

students without passing through "the minds of either".

14. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the

biggest piece.

15. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

16. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

17. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

18. Classic: A book, which people praise, but do not read.

19. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

20. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

21. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

22. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

23. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to

the trip.

24. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured

yet."

25. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in

word OPPORTUNITY .

26. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

27. Father: A banker provided by nature.

28. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.