Maids taking care of kids

give your maid the respect that she deserves and you'll have no problem but treat your maid like an animal and you'll regret it later..

11 months old is too young for a child to be left with a nanny. Don Robert is right, treat your maid fair and square and she will surely return the kindness. But to be sure, install a hidden cam.

i wouldn't trust a total stranger to take care of my child.. luckily, my mom is here so she looks after my daughter when i am at work.. after work, im hands-on when it comes to my child..

MJ, it is a wonderful feeling coming home with your child greeting you at the door. Good that your mom is here. But for others, they do not have much of a choice.

snessy, harsh or not. It is my opinion.

yeah, that's why u are a man, right? We wish we were man. Come and stay in our shoes for a day and feel what we feel.

working mothers are sacrifices and always feel sleepy, and tired. Have nothing to do but work and kids. Thank GOD you are a man.

suzan, cool down. I didn't know you had no husband.

Our maid is a mother of 2. And I wont lie, even when I am home she takes care of my son in a very good way. She goes to him when I sit him to eat if he starts making noises and I am still preparing something, or would watch him from far if I am doing something while he is either on his baby walker or chair.
This reflects her good care, I wont lie.
Its just that sometimes the devil plays with my head, u know? I get scared I dont know.
And the idea of a hidden camera scares the hell out of me, though its an option I might take care into consideration.

Thanks so much! I feel relieved when I read a good and nice supporting reply.
It's hard, but we can survive. Days are hard, others are easier. Oh well.. life is like that, isn't it?

MD, she actually has a husband..."My husband also bombards her with calls asking her about our son...."

Suzan, don't panic. Not all maids and nannies are the same like the ones your friend saw in this clip. Just treat the maid well and I believe she will not harm your kid. Treat her like a part of the family. I have a nanny who has been with us since my boy was a baby. She is one of the good things that happened to us.

I was a single mother years back and I had to toil alone for my son. It was a very difficult time. Mothers sometimes have no choice but to work for the future of the kids.

Of course. We always seek the best for them. So funny as we give up everything for them.!
U r right, should take it more easy!

I actually treat her very well. Compared to my friends who got one, she is a princess, honestly.
Everyone tells me that its too much, but I dont care ,she is taking care of my son!!!!!!!!!!!! She should be rewarded for that more than anyone else.

i also agree with labda to have your nanny learn first aid, it will be very helpful..

Be nice with your maid ,treat her as a family member,then she will take care of your children as own

You know, something about her surprised me. The other day my son was attempting to crawl, and he started screaming. It turned out that his thumb and other finger kindda of hit something or his weight was on them, and they looked huge!! I started crying thinking maybe there was a deviation in bones and they broke or something. She told me to calm down and started massaging them, and I told her I am taking him to the ER! she asked me to wait and check him, them after 20min nothing was wrong. She told me she knows more because she has had 2 kids! It was nice from her.
But yeah, first aid learning wouldnt be bad at all too!!

magicdragon, we probably dont have much saving as suzan and her husband. But I do know what happened to my son every details of it from day 1. That can not beat any amount of saving in the world :)

This is a huge dilemma everyone wonders about.
I was talking to my husband that now that my son is more aware of things around him, it makes me want to stay home with him and let the savings find its way.
He was like
- u r working for his studies, future, needs
- if u stay home u will then say i wish i worked and he would have blah blah
- if u work u say u wish u could have stayed with our son at home.

its a dilemma everyone has an issue with, u know? and its hard to chose when u prefer to. I prefer staying with my son, no debate here, but the real world needs us to work and support our families, sadly.

Personally I would love to be a stay-home mum who also works from home, but dont know how feasible that would be. It's not about the money, lol, some of us are driven by other things that Id rather not go into.

Novita, your son's lucky ;)

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

I wish there was something called - working-at-home jobs in Qatar. I would be the first one in line!!!!

yes, me too... :)

ok my apologies.

Novi, I bet he does, hahah! Have another one so he'll have to share you. Then he'll know ;)))

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

I'm pretty lucky that i've got a nanny who happens to be a relative...i'm assured that my children is in safe hand whenever i go to work...try taking somebody you know or trust...for you to have a peace of mind...

"The hardest thing to do is to do nothing at all."

I'm sorry to say, but I do understand if yourself and your husband work. But I just don't understand if your a stay at home mom why the heck do you have a nanny? Please clarify. Especially filipino, indian. They always complain about having a low salary and this and that but pay out of pocket for a nanny. Grow a pair and put your own kids to bed. F.Y.I. 75% to 85% of Qataris understand Hindi, Tagalog, and other languages because of Nanny's doing the Moms dirty work so watch what you say in front of them.

snessy ...

Even I am a full time mum, my son still managed to get 3 stitches when he was in the nursery, hospitalized at Hamad for mild concussion when he had an accident at the school playground.

The joy of being a mum and the constant worrying ...

I grow up with full time maid and driver in my childhood, maid and driver pick me up from school, take me to after school activities, birthday parties, playdates, prepare my meal. My parents was a very busy business people. They did not have a time for me. I always told myself that I dont want my kid to experience the same thing. So I do what I do now. It would be nice when they grow up they have a nice memory of their mother.

That's a great thought Novita. Good example of a Supermom! I feel the same way. Why wait for something to happen to your children when you can prevent it by raising your own kids? And a nice memory of their mother is what keeps the majority of children from being upset and doing horrible things in the future.

I agree with novita, swat is the money compered with saying taking care of our baby.
I choose to stay taking care of my son instead of going out to work... a maid is not the same as a mother and babes feel that...

But if you fine like this... this is your choice!

Good luck for you and blessings for your baby!

Well AngelinaBallerina We are in Qatar, and here we are foreigners... is not the same as the country we born!

1. So I will not trust my kid that can`t speck to a stranger even if this stranger is looking nice.

2. Not all woman that is not working is sitting. People can have many activities during the day and some of them very honorable.

3. You have to understand that each person is different, with different targets and different views of being a good parents. (Ones would prefer to collect money for the kids and others (that is my case) prefer to invest time with mine)

4. We are real woman this is why as a mother we choose to be beside our kids and taking care of our husbands.

5. Take care of what you write because you don't know us to judge in that way.

Have a nice night AngelinaBallerina! (honestly)

and how you treated her with regard to food, calling her family and having time off. You might want to consider how these issues CAN be related.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Qatari friend told me that the present generation of Qatari adolescents and young adults are the "maids children" with imported wrong social attitudes and bad habits to the pure Qatari society. Maybe right or wrong who will decide?

of whether to be a stay at home wife and mother or be a working mother. They are both choices that are legitimate in my view. For Ines to say "we are real women" is uncalled for.

I HAD to work as a single parent, but am so grateful that my own daughter has the chance to make her own choice and is able to stay home with her kids. She has sacrificed a lot, as did I. Why should either of us feel inferior for that choice?

Women are our own worst enemies.

If you choose (or have) to work, make sure you are treating the person who cares for your child well and choose that person with care.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

A house helper "maid" shouldn't take care of your child, a supervised babysitter may, I think a helper isn't qualified for this reasonability, unless she was a God's gift and was caring and motherly in nature, yet you would still need to be around your kid 80% to 20% of the time your kid is around her.

Salam

suzan,i salute you for being a good mother and a provider to your son,you already have a good nanny as you say so,nobody in this forum who can feel the most if your nanny is trustworthy or not but yourself.who wants to be under surveilance 24hrs a day 7days a week? you'll make her uneasy working in your house,you yourself dont like to be watch by your boss every minutes of your working days,dont you? just treat her nice and fair and you'll get the same.accidents happens sometimes we can't avoid that,even your son is in your care,so i agree to labda06 if u can get her to a first aid classes will be a good idea,

AngelinaBallerina I just answer you when you say

"Get real women, if you lived anywhere else in the world, maybe you would have to get off your bums and do some work!!"

What I mean about:

We are real woman this is why as a mother we choose to be beside our kids and taking care of our husbands.

Is that we are not less woman because we don`t help in collecting money... I am just defending the mums who decide to stay at home.

I don`t mean that others mothers who decide to work are worse, but each one take their choice!
Isn`t it like that AngelinaBallerina?

I'm pregnant with my first child after trying for children for 7 years. One of my biggest worries if the day I will have to leave him with someone and go back to work. Even though that's a few months away, I think about it every day knowing how hard it must be for Moms to leave them for such a length of time.
My dear Mom used to say you don't know what worry is until you become a Mother.
All the best,
Tracey

If this is a real concern to you, can't your husband stay home and look after the child? This is happening more and more in many countries. Where one of the parents has to work in order to earn a living for the family, sometimes you have to look at the big picture.

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

ermmm, yes, whatever you say......

... some people think they know it all, been there, done it, know the answer to everything. Every case is different, every mother knows the best way to deal with their own situation and there are no 2 situations the same anywhere.

Personally, I have never gone through an agency. Hiring somebody sight unseen is scary. To me, it's a crap shoot -- you never know what you're going to get. Falsified documents and work histories, someone you don't know from Adam... You're better off going by referrals of people already working here in Doha. I am lucky to have found all the people who have worked for me that way, and (touch wood) I've never been burnt.

Unless I had reason to believe my nanny was mistreating my child, I don't think I would install a hidden camera. I would definitely (and I have) enrolled all my nannies in a first aid course. To me, that's a no-brainer; they need to be able to do basic first aid and CPR if called upon to do so. I have friends who have enrolled their nannies in driving schools (so they can chauffeur the kids around), swimming lessons, and English classes (to improve communication). To me, all of these things are investments in your child. Most of the people we can hire as nannies don't have a lot of verifiable skills, so it's important to make sure you are equipping that person with the ability to handle things while you're not home.

To this end, I would love to see the government or private agencies help improve things. Start offering intro and refresher courses (in both Arabic and English, and perhaps the native languages of the women) in first aid, hygiene and health, food and nutrition, etc. I think there is a need in the community for this, and after awhile it would just become standard.

I would also love to start seeing some "mannies"! Inshallah, my next nanny will be a man. They're better equipped in general, I think, to do more sports/physical things with older children.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

i cant say i had any experiences cause im not married and dont kids have ofcourse , but i watched the video and not all the maids are the same but if i was in ur place i would rather take care of the kids and let the maid do the rest of the household work .... take care

... these generalizations just do my head in! My daughter had NOBODY but me looking after her when she was 2 and she got scared of the dark. So whose fault was that then? I think you need to have a little trust in people. If you treat somebody right, they will pay back in treating your family well too. Pay your nanny a good salary, give her incentives and day off, yearly holiday and make her feel like part of the family. This person is living in your house, she should be like part of the family. If you make her feel accepted and cared for, then she will pay you back the same way.

why maids ? why dunt u take care of ur kids ?

Suzan is a working mum, not everybody can afford being at home with their children, that's why we come to foreign countries - to earn a living!

A mum's job has to be the hardest job in the world - rewarding, yes, most times, but tough as hell!!!

... but there are many couples who can't give their children a decent upbringing if they are not both working. We have to respect that each family knows their own circumstances and only they can judge it :)

That's why we are the parents and they are the nannies.

But I am sure you can understand where I am coming from when I posted my last comment?