British boy allegedly abducted in Qatar

Alien abduction? In Qatar? Brit, how about your expertise?

ummjake, thank you for your comments.

it's really funny, yet unsurprisingly understood.

hope the boy returns to his mother soon.

Yalla!

Quite obvious what has happened. Like you said, quite like "Not without my daughter". Scary that.

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

But when one parent dies, unless the other parent was not a part of their life or is unfit, I don't see how you can argue that the dead parent's family should get custody. It's unreasonable to expect the mother (who is British) to live here i the Gulf away from her family of origin. It might be reasonable to ask that she visit yearly with the boy...I don't know. I feel for the mother, though. Scary reality of mixed marriages when you have kids.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

Sorry, the title mislead me.I thought that was Brit kidnapped by two Chinese dolls...
Anyhow, the poor mother made a mistake: she came here...

I believe it is rooted in the idea that children of a Muslim parent MUST be raised by Muslims, as is usually supported by local laws in the Arab world. Any woman should think long and hard before having a child with an Arab man under these circumstances or (in this case) visiting an Arab country so her child can see Arab family in their home environment.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Long time to see :)

This is the main reason why I am personally against mixed marriages. The complications after things not working out are massive to even consider. And love has nothing to do with it. When parents are from the same country they have these issues, let alone when the mom is an expat/foreign and wants to go home.

I had a friend from a muslim country and when his father died (his mother was muslim and from the same country) even though he was 12 years old, custody of him and his younger brother reverted to his fathers family even though they were in a foreign country!. They declined and gave legal custody to the mother as they did not want to separate the family.

But they could have claimed custody later at any time if they so felt. Maybe something similar happened here?

When it comes to a mixed religion marriage, also solve these kind of issues before hand and get it in the marriage contract!

"Jones has been accused of being an unfit mother on the basis of having a job, and not being a Muslim." Eh voila!

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

It's not only about her not being Muslim! It's sharia law, Family of the diseased must take the custody. Now that this case will probably be dealt by Minor Affairs Court, I guess they’ll rule for the favor of the Uncle (As the uncle is more entitled to be the guardian than his mother According to law)

dont know the real story, so can not tell what really in mother's heart.

1-The boy is Qatari.
2-He carries the family name of his father and uncle.
3-The law, and people here don't believe in the idea that a child belongs to his mother (as most of the west does), he belongs to his father, and his family after a certain age, especially if the mother remarried.

The minute I saw the word kidnapping, I assumed it's about the father (it's usually a British mother, and a british tabloid covering the story)...

This is also a main reason why I'm against mixed marriages, because you don't just marry a person here, you marry a person, their family, culture, religion, country... It's very complicated, and when things go wrong, they go WRONG!

1. The boy is NOT Qatari. He may be a dual national, but he comes from a British mother and Qatari father.

2. His name is listed as Adam Jones in the article (with an Arabic name in parentheses). What I understand from this is that he goes by the western name of Adam Jones, and the newspaper supplied the Arabic name so people would understand the situation better. As there is no mention of where he was born or what it says on his birth certificate, we may not really know what his legal name is -- but again, this isn't as clear as you make it sound.

Years ago when I first came to Qatar, all my government documents here had my "name" listed very differently than it actually is -- because they chose to use my first name, followed by my father's name and my grandfather's name as MY FULL NAME. But that wasn't what ANY official documents I had ever said... But they didn't seem to care what my parents had chosen to name me; it only mattered who contributed the sperm to my creation.

3. Clearly you're right. The laws here don't value the mother very much -- which in a way is very surprising seeing as how so many people here are fond of quoting that phrase "the way to heaven is under the mother's feet". Maybe we should ammend that to say "The way to heaven is under the father's feet. And then who? The paternal grandfather's feet. And then who? The paternal uncle's feet."

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

"Why, for example, does a mother forfeit custody of her kids if she remarries, but the father does not? Upon what (other than blatant sexual discrimination) is that based? Is there any factual evidence behind it at all?"

Can I take a stab in the dark and assume that Sharia law would be derived from a time where it was not reasonable to expect that a women would be capable of providing for herself and her dependent children in the event of her husband's death?

I feel sorry for the child - does he get any say in where he wants to live? Or does he get kicked around like goods and chattels, in the same way that slaves were considered personal property in 19th century US history.

A person I know married an American lady when he was back in Uni. She got pregnant with his child and had her. He left to come back home. Remarried and had more children from his local wife. After 20 years, the aunts get back in touch with her back in the US and she works at McDo's and waits tables while her dad here is a trillionaire.

Does that sound right?

While the money would be nice, I still think that if I had to choose, I would prefer to work in McD's and be free to make my own life choices than grow up here with ample money but not much freedom.
The gilded cage is very pretty, but it's still confining.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

for the mother of a child who is half Arab or Muslim to never allow their child to visit the family of the deceased father except in her own country and under supervision.

I just wish we could get this point across to all women who marry and have children with Arabs and Muslims. It could prevent a lot of children from being ripped from their mothers to be replaced by members of the extended family.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Eve, what happens if, for instance, a woman bears a son to a husband. The husband remarries, and retains custody of the male child - are you saying that the male child will remain with the biological mother to prevent the step mother from possibly sexually assualting her step son?

And why do you pre-suppose that Arab men are all child molesters who can't be trusted around girls who aren't their biological offspring. What an insult to muslim men.

I'm just accenting on the difference in culture. It seems nobody is willing to accept the other culture.

How about this:

"the law is really good for the family n kid concerned..i really hope they get back their son..its funny how some commenting here seem to disagree with the family getting back their son just bcos its part of some western culture ..give the family their kid,for gods sake..stoopid western culture is actually violating/threatening a multi-generational lifelong bond between a family/tribe and their own child.."

It's a different angle of saying the exact same thing, from the other side....

I'm with Mandi on this. The issue isn't some grudge that westerners feel about having one of 'our own' taken away by a Qatari.

It's much simpler than that. The child has a livign parent and a dead one. In what world is it wiser to take the child away from his mother to grant custody to his extended family?

And taking the article at face value, the child has no societal links to Qatar. He wasn't living here at the time of his father's death, and only came here on a holiday.

I don't see how it can be in the child's best interests (and isn't working towards the best interests of the child the duty of custodians?) to remove him from both his mother and his home in Bahrain?

Let the case go to court and let a judge make a ruling. But until then, surely the child should stay with his mother??

My question is would this have even been an issue if that child was a girl. Me thinks the uncle wouldn't have gone to so much trouble. Frankly, outdated arcane laws like these leave me flabbergasted as to why any woman would ever willingly convert or remain Muslim.

were a girl.
Local culture is especially wanky about how daughters are raised.

I used to date a local for many years, and he told me (for what's it worth) that if he could guarantee that we would only ever have male children, he would have married me in a heartbeat. But being American, I wouldn't be able to raise a daughter Islamically the way that Qatari culture mandates.

(For him, raising a daughter Islamically meant sending her to girls-only schools, wearing hijab/abaya, marrying her first cousin before she turned 18...and he's right. I would never have forced my daughter to do all of that, because for me that is local culture, not Islam...but here culture trumps Islam in many situations.)

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

Inhuman, tribal, savage and archaic!
That’s what happens when some were unable to catch up with the world's evolution.

PM, you cannot ignore the precedence of the prevailing culture just because it does not agree with your personal views.

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

so is there no chance for the mother of the boy to unite with his parental family and live together happily.

or does she have other commitments that is barring her from doing so.

or is it that she was never accepted even initially by the groom's family

what is the cores story?

Though just to hazard a guess - if she's been living in Bahrain for the last several years, that doesn't bode too positively for a warm and fuzzy family reunion in the near future (and when they kidnapped her son, that probably was the nail in THAT coffin).

Personally speaking, I can't imagine many people (men or women) who would choose to continue living with their in-laws after their spouse died. Not because of any particular ill will, but because you have your own family of origin and your own friends. You marry a person (and by that relation you also join another family), but once that person dies, it's generally time to move. You stay in touch with your adopted family, inshallah, but most folks start looking for another partner.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

Labda beg to differ. I am the custodian of my son from my first marriage. My ex was deemed not fit to cater for his needs at that time, so the courts in the UK decided in my favour purely on the basis that I was in a better position to cater for his needs rather than my EX. Even if my child was a girl I would have done the same. Now my Ex is re-married and has three more Children from her new marriage, but refuses to see her first born only because of our bitter past.

So even in the West there are exceptional circumstances where a father can be the sole custodian of his child/children.

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"HE WHO DARES WINS"
Derek Edward Trotter

"this should be more relaxing for the boy's mother"?

Please tell me that you're not implying that she should look upon this as an unexpected holiday from the duties and burdens of being a mother...please...

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

You talk about legitimacy and then refer to how a culture may dictate a child of a deceased father come under the responsibility of the dead father's male family. But I am pointing out that this culture DOES NOT accept adoption and raising a child as your own because it is prohibited in Islam. At best you can foster a child but you cannot give that that child your name and they don't receive the same inheritance under Shariah. I see this issue as extremely contradictory. This child can never be a SON to these people, regardless of whether they love him as a nephew and grandson, so why should he be taken from the ONLY person who CAN claim him as a son?

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

But PM.. surely he is entitled to his fathers estate?

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"HE WHO DARES WINS"
Derek Edward Trotter

Islam and so the point I am making is that it is contradictory for a society that doesn't accept the notion of adoption to claim a child from a surviving parent as their own.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

start a new life" over raising her children. Perhaps you don't understand the biological impact of bearing a child and the psychological one of raising that child, ExLegend. I find your comments bizarre and indicating a lack of comprehension of women.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

So what does the word Guardian in Sharia cover then? The Guardian can neither inherit the share of his custodian, nor can he offer his inheritance?

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"HE WHO DARES WINS"
Derek Edward Trotter

guardian's death. He can give them gifts while he is alive but his estate is shared between surviving spouses and biological children.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

PM, the woman got to raise the boy for 10 years now. i do understand its harder than words to detach a mother from her child. i was suggesting what would be better for her in my opinion and have not even gone close to forcing it on her. if at all you thought so. i simply find you as a grumpy numpty on a chicken run all alone. because you simply dont want to either read with thought or are too arrogant to accept others opinion.

In this culture. I am not saying they need to adopt him. What I am saying is that the culture recognizes a difference between the biological relationship of a parent and those other relationships. But when it comes to the biological relationship of the mother, it doesn't carry much weight. It seems to me as if it all boils down to the notion of children (and women, for that matter) as property of the tribal men, to make all the decisions for and do as they see fit. It's a blessing that the overwhelming majority are good decent men.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

oh PM, i failed to look into your profile to realize you are beyond my level of understanding. i truly am quite young for your school of thought.

So run along now and play with your little friends; leave the adults to discuss this matter.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

If this is sharia law--then it is wrong.
If this is Qatari law--then it is wrong.

No debate.

it will go to court. in fact to the minor affairs court. And most probably role out custody to the family of the deceased.

Who knows maybe this case is about money and if they have the boy they will get his inheritance, who knows that might be their perogative for abducting him. I can't imagine how you grab a 10 year, without drawing attention.

You mean Qatari courts, ruled by Egyptian judges under the pressure of Qatari tribal lords?! How fair can a court case be in Qatar, when it’s Qataris against foreigners???!!!

his mother, sister and step-father. I especially feel bad that the mother was doing her best to let Adam's extended family see him when they took advantage of the situation and refused to give him back.

Hope some resolution can be found. But as Nic said, these judges are most likely going to feel that they serve the Arab Muslim population here. I hope they will prove me wrong and return the boy to be raised by his mother.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Amoud,
Your views seem confusing.
On one side, if it was you, as a mother whose child has been abducted, you would rip the kidnappers to shreds. On the other side, in this case, you question this same reaction, just because it’s a “western norm”.
It’s not about being western or eastern, it’s about being human and civilized!