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samahat
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smile naman jan :)
An alcoholic son's letter to his Dad:
Beer dad,
Gin na 'ko mag-iinom whisky kelan man.
Tanduayan mo yan.
Your San,
Miguel
________________________________________________
Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know! - Huwag Mo Kong Gawing Tanga!
You Should Know By Now - Alam Mo Na Dapat Ngayon Yan, Tanga!
Sometimes When We Touch - Minsan Kapag Tayo'y Naghihipuan
Touch Me In The Morning - Hipuan Mo Ko Sa Umaga
Stairway To Heaven - Mula Paa Hanggang Singit
Hurt So Good - Array, ang Sarrap!
Total Eclipse Of The Heart - Maitim Ang Puso
I Left My Heart In San Francisco - Walang akong Puso ngayon
King And Queen Of Hearts - Tong-itan at pusuyan!
Pretty Woman - AKO yun o kaya'y di ikaw yun!
Hey Jude - Hoy Hudas! Barabas!
Power Of Love - Buntis
How Deep Is Your Love - Gaano Kalalim ang sa iyo
Three Times A Lady - Super Bakla
More Than A Woman - Tomboy (T-Bird)
Can't Be With You Tonight - Meron Ako Ngayon
___________________________________________________
Q: What's the difference between a kiss, a car, and a monkey?
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear, a monkey is you my dear.
Q: What will happen to a wooden car with a wooden wheel and a wooden engine?
A: It wooden start.
Q: Bakit intsik ang kinikidnap hindi bumbay?
A:Kasi pag bumbay, ang bayaran ng ransom ay hulugan, sa intsik cash!
Q: Why is breastmilk still best for babies?
A: It's fresh and contains antibodies for protection against infection. The best is that it comes in a very attractive container!
Q: Why should we not pass judgement on Monica Lewinsky?
A: Kasi "NAPASUBO LANG SIYA!"
Q: Ano mangyayari kay tweety bird kapag uminom siya ng viagra?
A: Magiging BIG BIRD.
Q: Ano ang difference ng bading at cannibal?
A: Ang cannibal kumakain ng ka-URI, ang bading kumakain ng ka-ARI!
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Comments
dekyo2000 said
eto medyo funny lang pero touching ... parang pldt ...An elderly man in Manila calls his son in New York and says,
'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting an annulment; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Doha and tell her!'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting separated,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls Manila immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting an annulment. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'
MORAL:
No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.
The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.
OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.
somwerNdmiddle said
supurtahan taka dekyo ;p ...supurtahan taka dekyo ;p
chevydjak said
hay dekyooo.... cguro nga. ..."BRING IT ON DUDE!!!"
hawker said
nice one somwer and Dean ...nice one somwer and Dean Dekyo :D
"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, tolerant of the weak. Someday you will have been all of these."
garnet06ph said
ayus! :D Shyatap!!! ...ayus! :D
Shyatap!!!
dekyo2000 said
Hindi lahat ng party ay ...Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- PREGNANCY TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ikina-sasaya- -HIV POSITIVE
************ ********* *******
Panibagong sagot sa tanong na: "'musta lovelife?"
"Eto self supporting."
************ ********* *******
Anak: Tay, totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
Anak: Sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo!
Tatay: Anak... wala tayong yaya!
************ ********* *******
Inday: Ate, kailangan daw ipa-EXTRAY ulo ni junior?
Mother: anong EXTRAY?
Inday: Ano pu ba talaga ati?
Mother: CT SKULL!!
************ ********* *******
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw Mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.
************ ********* *******
Chinese feng shui:
If MIRROR at the stairs, may swerte at grasya akyat.
If MIRROR at the door, may swerte at grasya pasok.
If MIRROR at the ceiling, ikaw swerte, nasa loob ka ng MOTEL!
************ ********* *******
Teacher: Juan, give me colors that start with letter M, except maroon!
Juan: Hhmmm...
Maitim!
Mapute!
Maputla!
Madilaw!
Mukhang berde!
Mejo asul!
Mamink-mink! ß- love it!!!
************ ********* *******
3 Palatandaan na tumatanda ka na:
1) Tuhod na lang ang Tumitigas..
2) Buhok na lang ang Tumatayo.
3) Mukha na lang ang Nagagalit.
************ ********* *******
Mag-ama nakasakay sa barko habang bumabagyo...
Anak: Tay! Nag-aalala po ako. Parang lulubog ang barko.
Tatay: Ba't ka mag-aalala eh di naman atin ito!
************ ********* *******
Isang binata naputulan ng parehong braso, pagdating sa ospital:
Binata: Doc gamutin nyo po ako, naputol parehong braso ko.
Doc: Mga anong oras ka ba naputulan?
Binata: Mga 10 oras na po.
Doc: 10?! Eh bakit ngayon ka lang pumunta dito?
Binata: HALLER! Mahirap kayang pumara ng jeep!!
************ ********* *******
Nanay: Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na?
Anak: Andito po ako sa ospital...
Nanay (umiiyak): Ha? Ano nangyari sayo?!
Anak: Nay, nurse po ako, duty ako ngayon!
************ ********* *******
A large signboard says: "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY."
Nakita ng lasenggo... "So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? "?
************ ********* *******
Misis: Inday, napansin mo ba ang barong ni sir mo lagi na lang may lipstick?
Maid: Opo nga ma'am! Mukang niloloko na tayo ni sir ah?!?!
************ ********* *******
Jr: Nay, nagloko ba si lolo noong buhay pa sya?
Mom: Pag namatay ako, tatangungin ko sya sa langit.
Jr: Eh kung nasa hell si lolo?
Mom: Tatay mo ang magtatanong!
************ ********* *******
Economics Professor: "Now tell me what is the similarity between your bank account and a bra?
Student: "Well, the more in it, the better interest you get."
************ ********* *******
Wife mad at drunk husband: From now on, lips that touch liquor will never touch mine...
Later she said): What are you thinking?
Husband: Trying to decide between 12year old scotch and 50year old lips.
************ ********* ****
Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpa-cremate?
Ama:Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.
************ ********* ****
Pacquiao: Honey, boksan mo na yun sweets.
Jinky: Nasan honey? Ang lambing mo naman. May pasalubong ka pa sa akin!
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng elaw. Ang dilim kaya!
************ ********* ****
Bisaya: Hulaan mo alaga kong hayop nagsimula sa liter I.
DJ: Isda?
Bisaya: Dili man!
Dj: Ibon?
Bisaya: Lapit na.
DJ: Ano nga, siret na!
Bisaya: IGOL.
*********** ********* ****
Erap disembarked from a PAL flight and was met by reporter who asked, "Sir, what do you think of the economy?"
Erap: I don't know. I was seated in the first class.
************ ********* ****
Misis: Darling, akala ko ba, mahal mo ako...
Mister: Oo nga! Handa akong mamatay alang-alang sayo.
Misis: Sus! Puro ka naman satsat, hindi mo naman ginagawa!
************ ********* ****
Tony: Ikaw na naman? Tatlong beses mo na akong na-holdup ngayong taon, ah!
Holdaper: Ganu'n talaga brod.. Inaalagaan ang good customer!
somwerNdmiddle said
bwahahahah! Igol!!!!! ...bwahahahah! Igol!!!!!