"New Student"

It was the first day of school and a new student named Tomas, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered the sixth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Tomas, who had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?

Again, no response except from Tomas: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Tomas.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Tomas, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Filipinos."

"Who said that?" she demanded. Tomas put his hand up. "John Pershing, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Tomas says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Tomas jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Tomas frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001." The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shitt, we're in BIG trouble!"

Tomas said, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."