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Facts about MEN

blueRoSe's picture

1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"

2. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature

3. How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head

4. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up

5. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares

6. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know... it has never happened

7. What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum

8. What's the difference between a man and E.T?
E.T. phoned home

9. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer

10. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted !

11. What did God say after he created man?
I can do better

12. What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind 2. No business

13. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal?
He bronzed it

14. How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy and wearable"

15. Only a man could buy a $400 car and put a $4000 stereo in it

16. Why did God create man?
He needed to practice

17. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost, at least she will ask for directions

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Comments

tatay.'s picture

tatay. said WOMEN CANT LIVE WITHOUT ...

WOMEN CANT LIVE WITHOUT MEN............

 

tatay.'s picture

tatay. said men can survive for one day ...

men can survive for one day without meal, women cant survive without male......

 

suzain's picture

suzain said tatay. ...

WOMEN CANT LIVE WITHOUT MEN

it's not ture...

 

afrinnabees's picture

afrinnabees said a WOMEN CANT LIVE WITH OUT ...

a WOMEN CANT LIVE WITH OUT MEN..ITS NOT NECESSARY HE SHOULD BE TAT GIRLS BOY FRND OR HUSBAND..BUT ATLEAST AS AFATHER A MEN WILL SURELY COME INTO WOMENS LIFE..WE WRITE WO MEN AGAIN MEN COMES IN..RIGHT...AS WELL AS MEN ALSO CANT LIVE WITH A WOMEN..TATS NATURE...

 

coffeeCrumble's picture

coffeeCrumble said Imagine a world with nothing ...

Imagine a world with nothing and noone but the male species... lol

 

afrinnabees's picture

afrinnabees said tat world will exist only ...

tat world will exist only till tat last male die..

 

rockduke's picture

rockduke said the world exist because of the creator (also Men) ...

 

teepatter's picture

teepatter said next ...

thread

 

soniya's picture

soniya said good try bluerose... ...

good try bluerose...

 

suzain's picture

suzain said afrinnabees ...

yes that's true,,,

 

dekyo2000's picture

dekyo2000 said ha ha ha so the gender war is still very much on ... nice one bR ...

naalala ko tuloy yung kwento when God created Woman

Sabi ni God kay Adan, igagagawa kita ng isang makakasama sa buhay ... yung mag-aalaga sa iyo at mamahalin ka ng lubusan kung sino ka man at kung ano ka pa. isang kasama na magigiging taga-suporta at tutulong sa lahat ng iyong mga gawain ...

subalit ... datapwa't (bakit kaya naimbento pa ang salitang ito) ... kailangang ibalik mo sa akin ang ilang bahagi ng iyong katawan! Kailangang ibigay mo sa akin ang isa mong mata, kanang kamay at braso, kaliwang paa, isang tenga at isa sa iyong mga bato.

Dami namang kapalit sagot ng nagrereklamong si Adan! Pero anak sabi ng Dakilang Ama ... katumbas naman nito ay walang katapusang kaligayan sa piling ng iyong makakasama!

Okay ... okay ... tumango si Adan ... pero isang tadyang lang ang pwede kong ibigay!!!

Paubrahin na natin yan ... walang sisihan sabi ni God .... poooffff .... kaya hayan ang isang BABAE!

Bahala ka na sa buhay mo ... wala ng bawian! Astalavista ... paalam ni God.

 

Peppermint's picture

Peppermint said Dekyo-- So i therefore ...

Dekyo-- So i therefore conclude na nagStart pala kay Adan ang pagiging REKLAMADOR ng mga lalaki!=P

Wacky Smiley
"Wag magbubuhat ng sariling bangko..."

 

Dot.Com's picture

Dot.Com said daa sa dee??? ...

_______________________________________________
A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose! Dr. Choc

 

dekyo2000's picture

dekyo2000 said dear pepp ...

dahil sa pangyayaring ito eh di na dapat magreklamo ang mga lalaki ... what do you expect sa isang tadyang he he!

 

whyteknight's picture

whyteknight said I will tell you one fact ...

I will tell you one fact about you bluerose..

If you think all the above or any of the above things for that matter are true then You have no clue about men.

**** Aal Izz Well****

 

dekyo2000's picture

dekyo2000 said Thoughts from Man's heart ...

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;and at the end, the mourners wondering too where he is going.

Thought 3
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :

'Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...'Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued,'My daughter finally,finally returned my Credit Card to me.'

The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom ! ! !

And now the Best one. .. . .. .

Thought 4
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. The man asked. 'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered..

'Oh, yeah?' the man said 'And where the Hell were you when I got married?'

 

teepatter's picture

teepatter said oh my! pathetic writer.. ...

this is totally anti-male!

haha I still believe the writer came from a man's scrotom that he/she truly hates...

 

kim perez's picture

kim perez said bluerose is a man ...

bluerose is a man hater...maybe your boyfriend dumps you

 

HJafri's picture

HJafri said I believe blueRose has very ...

I believe blueRose has very bitter experiances dealing with men......!!!

 

blue_rose's picture

blue_rose said o wow an other blueROse i ...

o wow an other blueROse i didnot know that

 

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