Husband and Wife Jokes

1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay...
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2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
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3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
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4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!
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5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to (aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
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6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
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7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense
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8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?
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9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
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10) Teacher: Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student: MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA
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11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De
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12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
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13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!
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14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
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5)Husband: u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife: Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
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16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:- Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay