The worst, most humiliating baby names

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names.

In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau. Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

Celebrities

Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:

Sparrow James Midnight Madden (Nicole Richie and Joel Madden)
Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa (Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa)
Seraphina Rose Elizabeth (Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck)
Bronx Mowgli (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
Zuma (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
Clementine Jane (Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes)
Knox Leon (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)
Sunday Rose (Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)
Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)
Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)
Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)
Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)
Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)
Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)
Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)
Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)
Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)
Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)

Diseases

You'd have to be really sick to infect your offspring with virulent names like these:
Fever Bender (born 1856)
Leper Priest (born 1929)
Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic)
Rubella Graves (born 1814)
Typhus Black (born 1897)
Hysteria Johnson (born 1881)
Emma Royd (born 1850)
Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)
Mumps Sykes (born 1891)

Sins

The authors found 149 records for people named Lust, 70 for Greed, 12 for Sloth, and 830 for Pride. Which of the 7 deadlly sins was missing? Only gluttony.
Lust Garten
Greed Sister Mancini
Avarice Sullivan
Sloth Washton
Wrath Gordon
Envy Burger
Pride Saint
Greed McGrew
Pride Saint
Lust T. Castle

Foods

Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:
Lunch Magee
Dinner Ware
Bread White
Hero Brat
Mayo Head
Mustard M. Mustard
Pickle Parker
Plum Sellers
Banana Bowdy
Cherry Grant

Bart Simpson pranks

Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:
Al Caholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Amanda Hugginkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks

Vote for the worst

Ancestry.com collected the "best worst names" of real, documented people from the U.S. Census Reports. Which do you think takes the cake?

Uranus Stukey

Ghoul Nipple

Acne Fountain

Lust T. Castle

Mary A. Jerk

Ima [Mod Removed]

Mutton Bucker

Hugh Jass

Fanny Whiffer

Tackle Feigenbutz

Envy Burger

Bum Snoddy

Mule E. McCart

Lard Mooney

Good Hell

Emma Royd

Noble Butt

Naught E. Bishop

Stud Duck