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How old is reasonable for a girl/boy to marry
After reading some some of the very disturbing articles on children marrying. I would like to know what everyone feels is the right age/way to become married.
Obviously I understand alot of people on here welcome premarital sex. However given that many teenagers are becoming pregnant from 11 to 15 years old these days. And more and more girls are coming (with their mothers) to the doctor for contraception. As well as my husband treating a 10 year old boy for genital warts recently.
I'd like to hear everyones opinion on this.
For the record, I do not agree with forced marriages.. or even marriages to older people at such a tender age. As islamically, marriage comes with alot of responsibilities and the girl/boy should be ready to take these on before marriage.
smoke said
I think the proper Young ...I think the proper Young age to get married would be 18 for girls and 21 for boys...as this happens to be legal adult ages for both sexes. I wish people could understand the basic need for getting married, its to reproduce and i dont see how a Grown man can even think of reproducing with a little child its f'ing disgusting.
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
alik said
if seen islamically ...according to islamic point of view, when a girl or a boy reaches the age,,, it migth be 12-16 for girls anf 14-18 for boys, they should be married..
so that they would not engage themselves in sexual activites...
for me ,, 17-20 for girls and 18-22 for guys....
but again its just me
smoke said
give me a break, we've all ...give me a break, we've all been through that "age" having sexual urges is normal for a growing kid(raging hormones) that doesnt mean u run and marry them off. Marriage is about becoming a family, setting up a home...a 12 yr old girl is supposed to play with dolls not grown men.
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
alik said
well again ...sexual urges lead to sex.... if u get a chance that iz...
islam iz not a big fan of such things....
and i dont know if u a muslim or not, but if u read islamic history, u will find plenty of events supporting my argument...
and no body iz stopping them from playing wid dolls and no one iz saying to get them married to 80 yr old men.....
but my friend... a fact iz a fact, and theze sexual urges are leading to all theze pregnancies,,,,,
canarybird said
alik - do ...Do you write all s's as Z in Pakiztan??? lollol
alik said
nah ...this idiotic chat ruined me...
even in some reports in office... i placed Z instead of a couple of s's and my boss made quite fun of me....
he didnt even give it back to me to correct it and forwarded it directly... luckily ,,, everyone here iz a fun loving person.. so it waz not made a issue... otherwise..... mannnnnn
nicaq25 said
in my opinion for right age to marry.. ...is between 22-30...i'm sure by that time, both are intellectually & emotionally mature and is ready to face life rationally. (although, I married when I was 18)
smoke said
hey we are not debating ...hey we are not debating here what islam says or what mormons say on the age to get married. Secondly sexual urges lead to sex? so tell me then what exactly is the point of getting A 8 yr old girl married? to prevent her from having sex? lol now lets see for the sake of argument u do get a 12 or 14 yr old girl married and then she gets pregnant...i wonder if she got pregnant through immaculate conception?
My point is if u think a 12 yr old having sexual urges is wrong, but its ok if she gets pregnant at 12 if she's MARRIED? u get my drift?
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
Gumby said
There is no easy answer for ...There is no easy answer for this, but certainly 18 is far too young. I child of that age is not even fully educated yet or functioning intellectually as adult. That doesn't come until 22 or 23 or thereabouts. Marrying as a teen will just continue the cycle of familes living a marginal life and not pursuing their full potential. Much better to wait until late 20s or early 30s when then are better suited to the role and have the resources available to make a successful go at marriage.
BTW, I disagree quite strongly that the main purpose of marriage is reproduction. Be interested to hear how many agree or disagree with the idea that that is the main purpose of marriage.
draj said
boy no limit but gal at ...boy no limit but gal at 16... but child after25...
alik said
WELL ...WHEN DID I SAY THAT SHE HAS TO GET RPEGNANT JUST RITE AFTER GETTING MARRIED.....??
ISLAM IZ A VERY LOGICAL RELIGION, IF IT SAID SO, THERE MUST BE A VERY GUD AND STRONG REASON BEHIND IT... MAY BE U n ME ARE NOT GETTING IT, BUT IT IT SAID SO, THR IZ A VERY GOOOOOD REASON BEHIND IT...
I WILL NEVER AGREE TO A GIRL GETTING MARRIED AT 12.. BUT AT 16 YES,, I WILL DEFINATLY RECOMMEND IT.
alik said
GUMBY ...LATE 20'S OR 30'S....
THR IZ NO WAY, THAT U CAN REFRAIN FROM SEX FOR THAT LONG.. NO POSSIBLE WAY....
AND IF U ARE TALKING ABT MATRUITY,,, WELL AGE HAS NOTHIN TO DO WID IT, U WILL C 16 YRS OLD MORE MATURE THAT 40 YR OLD ...
AND MARRIAGE NEVER STOPS U FROM GETTIN TO YOUR FULL POTENTIONAL.. BUT IT DOES GIVE U A PARTNER TO SHARE UR SUCCES AND DOWNFALLS WID..
NONE OF HERE WILL DISAGREE TO HAVING A BOYFRIEND AT THE AGE OF 12 OR 16 OR WHTEVER.. THAN WHTS WRONG WID GETTING MARRIED AT THIS AGE????
THEZE DAYZ,, THE RELATIONSHIP IZ THE SAME WID BOYFRIENDS N GIRLFRIENDS ....
THIS WAY THIS IZ UNETHICAL AND UNLAWFULL...
GET MARRIED EARLY BUT DONT HAVE ANY KIDS SIMPLE....
ENJOY YOUR ROMANCE FOR 5-8 YRS, INSTEAD FOR ENJOYING IT WID UR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND...
alik said
DRAJ ...BOYS SHOULD DEFINATLY BE MARRIED BEFORE 20'S ASWELL.....
OTHERWISE THEY WILL JUST GO ON MATSUBATING OR SCREWING SOME OF THR FRIENDS...
smoke said
alik lower ur CAPS ur not ...alik lower ur CAPS ur not gonna prove anything with that. Secondly if ur going to argue with me u might as well READ WHAT I WRITE, i said for the sake of ARGUMENT. Now i can tell u a lot of cases where kids get pregnant at that age after getting married so dont be a freaking moron and say otherwise.
Islam may be a logical religion but I DONT HAVE TO AGREE with what Islam says, so just dont come here to discuss something based on what Islam tells u to follow, your the kind of person who will say something like If Islams tells me to Jump off a bridge then there must be a good reason for it.
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
r7 said
ALIK !! ...SO ur saying u did all of wht u just typed ?? or u got married at 15 ???!
alik said
soory for caps ...i waznt trying to prove anything.. just here in office, everything iz written in caps...
well, yes ,,, i am that kind of person...
well lets take this slowly...
wht do u say, whts the age for gals to get married??? and whts age for them to start having boyfriends?...
Rizks said
I feel there is ...I feel there is no END to this Topic....... so i better SLEEP Zzzzzzzzz......
Formatted Soul said
alik ...Did you marry before 20??
I don’t think a guy will be emotionally mature to get married at that age and obviously they won’t be financially independent.
alik said
r7 ...i didnt get wht u want to ask.. and am not married yet....
smoke said
i think i've made my views ...i think i've made my views clear on the age part in my first post alik, my whole point to ur view of a child getting married off just coz she might have some sexual urges is what i have a problem with...lets say she doesnt get pregnant, but her husband has sex with her anyways coz he's "married" either way she is gonna have sex its just there is the right way and then there is the wrong way.
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
alik said
formatted. soul ...hes not emotionally mature to get married,, but he iz mature enuff to have a gf at 16 ???? iz this wht u are trying to tell us?
alik said
well i cant change it . its a fact ...well yes...
thr iz a rite way and a wrong way...
people are going to do it anwys... so y dont do it in the legal and the rite way??????
everyone has a gf and a bf at the age of 14 today... ... y iz it ok to do whtever wid your so called partner .... and y iz gettign married sooo wrong?
smoke said
and whats wrong ...and whats wrong with having a gf or bf at that age
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
Rizks said
Friends !! I ...Friends !!
I guess leave it to the Boy Or Gal, when they want let them get married and have a Dozen of babies and live Happily after.....
watz the point in breakin our heads .....
Peace .....
alik said
if u are ok wid gf/ bf ...if u are ok wid gf/ bf am ok wid making my gf my wife....
doing whtever i would do wid my gf to my wife......
Rizks said
Alik - ur ...Alik - ur sentence Makes No Sense ..... friend !!!
irrysa said
i don't think there is such ...i don't think there is such thing as right age for marriage...u should just do it when u feel u r ready for it....yet still, it doesn't guarantee a success. no matter what age u r. it's a lottery, always.
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
maxmo said
More couples filing for divorce on ‘silly’ grounds ...By Kanu Sarda
NEW DELHI: The ground beneath Rajni Sinha’s feet slipped away when her husband said he wanted to end their three-year-old relationship because - guess what - she did not dress well! And this after having a “love marriage” - unlike most Indian marriages that are arranged by the families of brides and grooms.
The divorce petition filed by husband Sanjay Sinha said, “Despite several requests, my wife does not wear modern lifestyle clothes. I just can’t bear the comments from my friends that my wife is not stylish.”
Rajni said: “I was shocked when I received the notice from the court.
It was unbelievable. We had a small fight a few days ago and after that I came to my maternal home. But it was a small quarrel and could have been solved easily.”
She said the ground was baseless because she had every right to wear the kind of clothes she wanted to.
“It’s my fundamental right to wear clothes of my choice, traditional or modern.
“Nobody has the right to force opinions on me. If he wants to divorce me on this ground then I think he doesn’t deserve my love, dedication and sincerity,” Rajni said.
The matter came up for hearing early this month at the matrimonial court in Tis Hazari. The court also found the ground amusing and suggested that the couple give it some more thought.
Rajni’s case is not an exception.
“Marriages end in divorce because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to tying the knot and are less willing to work on their marriages afterwards,” a judicial officer said.
“They look for quick solutions rather than resolving issues. People have divorced their spouses for trivial reasons like snoring!”
Kamal Singh Pundhir, a lawyer who deals with matrimonial cases in the capital, said: “Earlier, the common reason for divorce was mental or physical torture but now it has more to do with incompatibility, adjustment problems, temperamental differences and intolerance.”
He said growing levels of impatience in relationships were making couples opt for divorce.
According to an estimate by the judiciary, nearly 136,000 weddings are registered here every year. Conversely, nearly 10,000 divorce cases are filed in Delhi every year and 10 cases on an average are filed in one court in the capital every day. Around 12,000 divorces were cleared last year.
Last year, a man dragged his wife to the Delhi High Court after the session’s court rejected his divorce petition calling the reason invalid.
The man had filed for divorce because of what he called his wife’s arrogance. She had refused to serve tea to his friend and a quarrel ensued.
The high court too rejected the petition and directed the couple to live together and solve the dispute.
According to lawyers, some other “inconsequential” reasons cited in divorce petitions in India these days include refusal to stay with in-laws, no desire to experiment with lovemaking or refusing to do household chores.
Husbands often allege that spouses do not have table manners or do not interact with colleagues or refuse to drink at parties.
“These reasons may be silly and minor, but once the couple is intent on quitting the relationship then not even the judiciary can help much,” said Manisha Jha, a lawyer who deals with marital disputes.
Jha recalls that a wife who once filed for divorce from her husband after six months of marriage alleged that he neglected her and spent more time in office.
“I advised her to join some hobby classes or start working, but she refused.
She was firm on getting a divorce. So I filed the case and it was sent to the mediation cell for consideration,” Manisha said.
Lack of communication also ends in divorces.
“You can’t have an effective relationship if either of the partners doesn’t discuss his/her feelings, can’t talk about mutual or personal issues, keeps resentments simmering and expects the mate to guess what the problem is all about,” Jha said.–IANS
Source: http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=214036&version=1&template_id=40&parent_id=22
alik said
rizks ...i mean to say that.....
if someone feels a aruge to have a bf/ gf......
they shld probably get married... and ddo whtever they were planning to to wid the bf/ gf , wid thr patner...
romance , sex, sweet talk whtver...
that way, they can make they life patner, their permanent gf/ bf
alik said
i am just not a fan of ...i am just not a fan of having to test drive 10 girls/ boys before getting willing to settle down
Formatted Soul said
Maxmo.. ...We are discussing about AGE for marriage and not divorcee ..lol Are you trying to say... its not important to get married?
baedaebok said
Birds of a feather flock together ...dw and I married when we were both 35. We were mature enough to know how to serve the other. In Canada and Korea, I dated younger women but they weren't ready for marriage. It was about appearance, or just going out to be seen, etc.
Because dw and I are similar age, we think alike. I wouldn't want to marry a woman 10 years younger than me. It is fun in bed and walking in the mall to be seen. But in terms of maturity, meaningful conversations, and similar interests....I'd prefer someone my age. Not a twentysomething woman....tempting as it is with all these young unattached ladies walking around Doha!
Formatted Soul said
alik ...what if they get attracted to someone else after sometime and they realize that what they felt at very young age was not love it was just infatuation?
Instead of going through all the hassles of divorcee, its better to get married when they are emotionally more matured say between 24 to 28 for men and 22 to 25 for girls.
You said you are single...is that because you never felt the urge for a gf?
alik said
Formatted Soul ...WHTS THE GAURANTEE that they will not get attracted to someone elze if they will be married at a later age??????
love/ infatuation can be mistaken at any age..... people cheat on their patners at all ages.
i am single coz i had a terrible break up and i just thought never to get into this stuff again... but well its just me
VoulaZ said
i dont think anyone under ...i dont think anyone under the age of 20 should get married...especially boys...my job is to plan weddings and every single couple that was not yet in their 20s is either divorced or having serious trouble in their marriage...i got married myself at 24 but it didnt end well(thank god not for a stupid reason like those above:PP).
alik said
VOULAZ ...religion and society effects wht u do and wht shld be done in many ways...
so keep everything in mind.... i am working wid all americans here... and everyone iz divorced .. they all got married prettyy late...
divorce and problems.... well it can occur at any age at any time
Formatted Soul said
Alik ...Don’t you think its good that you didn’t marry her when you first fell in love? otherwise it would have been more difficult for you to break up right?
That’s what I was trying to say, it’s not wise to marry a person just because of physical attraction there are lot more important things involved when it comes to marriage... I personally don’t believe in Sex before marriage ... (probably because its not allowed in my culture)
Gypsy said
Dating is NOT marriage, not ...Dating is NOT marriage, not even close. It's relationship practice, like putting training wheels on a bicycle. The answer to less teen pregnancies and STD's is not marrying the child off as a teenager, it's educating them about the consequences of sex and making birth control widley available. A Girl having a child at 14 is still a problem for society no matter if that girl is married or unmarried.
Visit www.qatarhappening.com
alik said
GYPSY ...such training and practices are not allowed where alot of us come from...
relationship practice, sex practice, kissin practicce. it certainly sounds gud but unfortuantly we aint allowed to do so.....
SuperXpat said
I was at the hospital the ...I was at the hospital the other day and I saw some parents who were a disgrace. Is was obvious that they didn't know why they had sprogs: they didn't pay any attention to them, they didn't seem to care that much, they didn't even know how to hold them properly for crying out loud!
This makes me think that perhaps it's a long way for some to get over the step where society determines them aspects that should be left to the individuals' judgement, such as when to get married!
alik said
formatted. soul ...break up happend at all ages, at all levels of commitement...
its just that,, everyone works harder to make a marriage work that to make a relationship works...
all theze relationships and marriages demand alot of compromises etc, and after marriage, u have a stronger reason to make a compromise..
Gypsy said
Well sucks to be you, but ...Well sucks to be you, but the answer is still not getting married and having children as teenagers.
Visit www.qatarhappening.com
alik said
gypsy ...are u seeing anyone :P?????
Gypsy said
Yes I am. Visit ...Yes I am.
Visit www.qatarhappening.com
Withnail said
hello superXpat ...not paying attention to babies seems the norm here.
my wife and i recently had a baby and we were told that we needed to ask the nurses to keep the baby in our room during our stay at the hospital because the only time the locals had the baby with them was when they had company and wanted to show it off. when the guests left, out went the baby.
and when i took our daughter to the nursery for a diaper change, it was always full, especially at night. aside from our neighboors who where brits, no one else had their baby with them at night.
it was pretty sad.
___________________________________________
"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
alik said
sad ...sadddd
smoke said
Gumby with regard to what ...Gumby with regard to what i said about the main purpose of getting married well in my culture its like this...u get married...and the next question every Uncle or Aunt is gonna ask u, is say a year or two down the line, is how many kids do u have? But seriously why do people get married for is it not to raise a family together?
Keeping that in mind i fail to see the LOGIC in getting a child married off just so she doesnt fall into the temptation of having sex. that just makes no sense to me.
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
ilovefonzie said
alik.... ...there are many things that Muslims say is given in the Quran about how to live life etc etc, but people like Alik pick and choose the convinient ones and disregard the rest.
now just for the sake of argument say he wud marry a girl he loves who is 15.
and just say she wasnt good in the sack so by the time she is 16 alik can say "divorce" thrice and get rid of her......and then u have a 16 year old divorcee who no-one will want to marry.....
The concept of interest on a loan is against the Quran....but then if this was striclty followed then there wudnt be any banks open in Qatar.
Alchohol is also strictly prohibited in Islam....but u go to Oasis, Ramada and u will find people sitting in their dish-dash having a beer.
now these same idiots will have a 15 year old wife at home.....
i hope ur getting the drift.....cos im lost...
this argument could go on on ....ultimately its a matter of choice that you make.
and please dont quote religious texts from teh Quran, Bible....etc...
that is a guide to life....it is NOT life....or you wouldnt have had a brain.
maxmo said
Formatted Soul... I ...Formatted Soul...
I didn't mean to say marriages are not important... All I wanted to say is most of this marriages end up in sepration due to wrong decisions made by there parents (arrange marriage) or themself's (love marriage)
I agree with baedaebok, getting married at matured age is more important for stronger relationship, but it does not mean those who are married at younger age don't have stronger relationship.
Oryx said
Unwanted Babies ...U should try waiting 3hrs for your gyno appointment at HMC
it is very sad... mothers who have no interaction (body language/talking) with little kiddie winkle and are about to plop another one out.
Really no talking/playing/affection/not even eye contact! Just swotting it away like a pesky little fly.
It really upset me. I just wanted to pick them up and cuddle them and tell them how lovely they were.
SuperXpat said
Well Withnail, basically I ...Well Withnail, basically I was referring to other nationalities, not Qataris. Although many locals seem to leave everything to the maids and they might not know how to perform everyday chores which is just sad, at least they seem to be good parents. It's the Qatari men who spend a lot of time with their children and take them to the mall, the park etc.
Withnail said
hey superXpat ...to be clear, i didn't mean only locals - there were many nationality of kids alone in the nursery (each baby carrier had a tag with details including nationality on it), but mine and the brit baby were the only ones where the parents consistently tried to room in and be there.
but i don't really see the locals as stand out parents either (i'm not saying they are bad, but they don't stand out as models of excellence for me). i keep hearing people say qataris are so loving with their kids, but i just don't see it - you need to be with your kids, touch them, help them, nurture them. even when you're changind a diaper, it's an opportunity to caress your daughters legs and coo-coo her and bond with her. if your maid is doing most of the work, then you're not doing enough as a parent, IMHO.
i see a lot of qatari men walking around with the family, which of course is great, but more than once when the kid starts making a fuss i see him/her getting passed off to the maid or wife and the man goes off unti the kid settles. many westerners use the TV as a babysitter, so i'm not not saying that all westerners are great parents, but whether it's the maid or the TV, both are poor substitutes for a parent.
___________________________________________
"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I
alik said
ilovefonzie ...if u want me to defend islam.... i surely will....
just because, thr a a couple of corrupt muslims.... kindly dont blame it on islam.... rest u can figure out urself....
MR PAUL said
There is no right age for marriage.... ...I got married at 29, and it still didnt stop her from running off with someone else.
Marriage is a big reality check, and you have to be mature enough to face those challenges.
i think the UK age of 16 is too low, but thats what the law is so....
you get married when you BOTH feel it is the right time in yer lives...Not cos of peer pressure !
SuperXpat said
I don't have children ...I don't have children myself Withnail, but although what you're writing sounds obvious to me, I'm quite shocked to realise that it's not obvious to many parents in Qatar.
I mean,parents should seek for the opportunity to be close to their children and if I was a dad I'd never let the maid be a surrogate parent and I wouldn't let my children get addicted to TV. One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know such basic stuff.
Eco-savvy said
As usual the topic is off the track ...IMHO right age is after graduation. 21- 23 yrs
dragonfly212 said
whey you ready you ready.. ...whey you ready you ready.. but i pro to 5 years different between men and woman. if the woman 25 and the man 30 that would be the ideal but now adays young kid got married because the prenancy accident. you married when you ready. of course 14 years old is not the age.
Everybody is right Everybody is wrong, it depend where we stand.
chingkay said
i think its 18 - 25 for ...i think its 18 - 25 for females and 21 to 28 males
responsible already and both in legal age
try and try until you succeed
Gumby said
Nope, still not agreeing ...Nope, still not agreeing with you alik, culture is irrelevant, the biology of the brain is the same everywhere and 14-20 year olds are not yet adult. They are not capable of making the sorts of decisions that adults make. Comparing dating and marriage is like comparing apples and hamburgers, there is very little in common between the two.
Children are a possible and welcome result of marriage, but no the primary purpose. Marriage is two people agreeing to support and love each other, children are optional.
princess habibah said
Thats what I think ...Thats what I think Gumby
marriage is about 2 people who both are willing to take on the benefits and responsibility marriage comes with.
I.E. they have the same goals of having a family, working to support them, education, dealing with the stress and joys of children, and working together to succeed in these common endeavors whilst making it easy for each other.
Love for me come with respect..
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
ilovefonzie said
alik you may....... ...Alik you may defend Islam,
i have nothing against the religion.
and ur right, just cause there are a "few" bad apples why throw out the basket.....
So waht does ur religion say about mmmm say sitting in cars, internet, growing you hair etc etc
and i reiterate, Religion is a way of Life, not LIFE......
there are two different issues being discussed here...
1) Children getting married (the original post)
and REligion..... (your argument)
in any case im not a supporter of child marriages....
i think past 25 in most cases is a safe age.....
ulitmately its all a matter of choice and people below 20 can more easily make wrong choices.
Alexa said
The need to ask ...The need to ask such a question clearly shows there is something seriously wrong.....
It helps to USE the brain, as it is given to you not only for balance.
Alexa
PM said
Sexual urges are normal ...and it seems to me that we (Muslims and non-Muslims) need to come up with normal ways to handle them -- not engage in marriage simply for the sake of making sure everyone has a "halal" outlet for their urges (especially when they are not ready, willing or able to commit to marriage). When my kids were approaching puberty I discussed "safe sex" with them -- and it's not what you think! My view was that the safest sex of all (outside of a mature, loving, committed relationship) is sex with yourself (so to speak). Of course, they hated me talking openly about it but better that than see one of my children hurt by becoming inappropriately sexually active.
In other words: Talk to the hand!
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
r7 said
PM ...Killer closing line :)
thexonic said
Puberty, hence prvents them ...Puberty, hence prvents them from the sin of masterbation.
--------------------
No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.
ilovefonzie said
PM....... ...Honestly
that was zimbly awesome....
bravo
MR PAUL said
Masturbation is a sin ??? ...Please explain yerself young man...
lipstick said
yeah right. m. is a big ish ...yeah right. m. is a big ish SIN
thexonic said
Mr. P yes in islam ...Mr. P
yes in islam it is one of the biggest sins, not just masterbation, even looking at a woman in a lustful manner.
--------------------
No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.
PM said
The thing is ...even some of the so-called scholars say that masturbation is acceptable when it prevents greater sin. I think marrying off people who are not ready, willing or able to make adult decisions and live with the consequences of marriage is a greater sin.
Common sense people -- where has it gone?
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
MR PAUL said
It seems to me that everything is a sin..... ...How boring a life it must be to be devout to yer religion...
thexonic said
PM ...I knew u would come up with something like that... So r u saying that having a girl friend and having sexual relations with a girl who's not ur wife is appropriate??
--------------------
No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.
thexonic said
PM ...or r u questioning the knowledge of Prophet (saws)??? what common sense r u talking about here??? I dont get it? or (astagfirullah) r u saying that our Prophet was not mature enough when he got married at a young age???
--------------------
No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.
ilovefonzie said
so say (and this is for all ...so say (and this is for all of you who endorse marriage at puberty) u have a sister who is say 14...and she is lusts after men and wants to have s*x.
u wud just get her married cos, its a sin to m/-a-t-/strubate and have relations with men before marriage??
I dont see sense in this....
PM said
You obviously don't read and comprehend clearly thexonic ..."So r u saying that having a girl friend and having sexual relations with a girl who's not ur wife is appropriate??"
I DID NOT SAY THAT. Please point out where I said anything like that. Instead I advocated masturbation over inappropriate sexual activity -- including inappropriate marriage or inappropriate sexual affairs.
Frankly thexonic, I am pretty sick of you twisting everything around and attacking people when you don't get it to begin with.
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
PM said
And furthermore thexonic ...You really need to learn how to read and understand what people say before you go off on them making ridiculous accusations like:
thexonic said PM ...
or r u questioning the knowledge of Prophet (saws)??? what common sense r u talking about here??? I dont get it? or (astagfirullah) r u saying that our Prophet was not mature enough when he got married at a young age???
WHERE DID I QUESTION THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PROPHET (saw)? I am not such an ass as to judge what he did 1400 years ago in the attempt to build Islam and with direction from God. I am simply saying that marriages are for more than sex thexonic. We don't simply marry so that we have a halal outlet for our hormones. Maybe you will understand that when you get older.
I am pretty sick and tired of you misunderstanding what people say and then going off on them. If you want to debate with the adults then learn how to act like one -- and WRITE like one, for God's sake!
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
PM said
No, Ilovefonzie ...Not every Muslim is an idiot to think that marriage based on lust is a good thing or even appropriate. Just some are.
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
Scarlett said
You know... ...something that's been ignored here when the Quran or Bible is mentioned is that back when either was written, is that the age of death was MUCH lower..such as age 45 or less. That's why they got married so much earlier...plus the maturity levels of people back then HAD to be more because of the hardships they faced, unlike today. Also the reason they had more children...to keep up with the mortality rate of offsprings due to health related issues. Everyone needs to keep things in perspective when dealing with religion and rules...see where they come from and consider the differences in times and lives.
Now, that being said...I quite firmly believe that marriage shouldn't occur in either sex until after age 23-24...until then, most young people are still trying to find out who they are and what they want in life. Plus they are no where near ready to have children, as they are barely out of the child stage, themselves. As far as dating is concerned...I don't think children should date until age 16...at least that way you can talk with them and they MIGHT listen to you...but talking about sex and other issues should begin MUCH earlier...to avoid any misunderstandings of what can happen if you make bad choices. Plus, informing your children of sexual behavior can help them avoid being abused by others.
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
Eco-savvy said
What a pornified hell ...PM who are those so -called perveted scholars
quote
even some of the so-called scholars say that masturbation is acceptable when it prevents greater sin UNQUOTE
How do we make HARAM things halal here, who are they to justify . Why those perverts didnt mention about observing fast which strengthens faith and keeps us away from evil thoughts,
Why they didnt advise to be moderate in eating and drinking
Why ppl are not advised to stop watching haram erotic films/pictures
Why didnt they advise to keep ourselves busy with worship like reciting memorising
Why the scholars didnt advise to avoid mix gatherings
Perverted scholars perveted advice May they all go to deepest hell
PM said
You are one serious wacko at times eco ...I just wonder if you are one of these people who never smiles and is always ranting and raving....
One minute you are normal and Mrs. Piety and the next you are telling people to convert to Christianity and to go to hell. I just don't know what to even make of you anymore... 
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
nadt said
Pm..i have to agree with ...Pm..i have to agree with you on both, the contradictions of eco...i had to read the christianity one twice..as i thought my eyes are playing tricks on me...
and about the
quote
even some of the so-called scholars say that masturbation is acceptable when it prevents greater sin UNQUOTE...
Alexa said
well, if I lived the way ...well, if I lived the way Eco seems to think acceptable...i think I would be looking forward to my death too......
It helps to USE the brain, as it is given to you not only for balance.
Alexa
PM said
What is the fatwa on Masturbation in Islam ...From Islamonline (I will not quote in its entirety because the first part stipulates the Shafi viewpoint which you are no doubt familiar with; but this is the pertinent part in regard to this discussion):
However, some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse [here referring to the Shafi position] refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of Zina (adultery). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:
1. if the person is unmarried,
2. if he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit Zina, and
3. if the masturbation here is, rather than fulfilling a sexual desire, just to release the sexual tension resulting from stimulation.
I conclude that the general principles of Shari`ah go against this habit, because it is not the normal way of fulfilling sexual desire; however it is a deviation – and that is enough to condemn it, even though this act does not fall under the category of absolute prohibition like Zina. However, the law of necessity, which is one of the principles of Shari`ah, should also apply here. For example, if someone is afraid that he would commit a greater sin like Zina or he will be harmed by some psychological disorders, then the ban on masturbation would be relaxed just to remove the hardship, based on the Shari`ah principle that states that “necessity is judged according to the circumstances that warrant it.”
That means going to the extreme in masturbating is not permissible in all cases, for the following two reasons:
1. it would be resorted to not as a case of extreme necessity to release the tension and the pain resulting from sexual arousal, but to fulfill the sexual desire, and
2. it is harmful to one's health, and whatever is physically harmful is not allowed in Shari`ah, according to the consensus of the Muslim scholars.
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates
PM said
Sorry for the cut and paste but I figured eco ...needed her proof so she can k now who she is condemning to hell.
A life unexamined is not worth living -- Socrates