Is this a good Mother?

So many on this site sing the praises of the Stay at Home Mom, I can't help but ask, is this your idea of a good mom?

(Make sure you click the link to see the pic)

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/05/12/time-magazine-cover-wha...

* We should let women determine for themselves how long they want to breastfeed.
* We should let children determine how long they want to breastfeed.
* We should let individuals determine for themselves how they want to lead their lives.
* Children develop deep comfort and certainty when they know they can get milk and mommy whenever they want. In fact, that idea should extend beyond breastfeeding to sleeping arrangements. Children beyond the toddler stage should be able to sleep en famille when and if determined by them.
* We have been denying our kids the opportunity to feel the original attachment humans had before psychologists, or priority of relationships, or separate bedrooms, or even homes existed. Originally we trekked around looking for food with kids strapped to our fronts or backs. These kids could partake of a milk meal whenever they wanted.

Comments

tinkerbell10

Thanks you MM for helping me bathe my keyboard in caffeine....

Jeez!,,,,,speechless....

Miss Mimi

What isn't mentioned in this article TB is that she also breastfeeds her 5 year old adopted son.

tinkerbell10

OMG!......Ive hread of extremes but this is......what do i say!

Hasnt it ever occured to her doctor how harmful it is for her?? and for the kids?

snessy

This child is going to be screwed up for life, when he's getting intimate with a girl in later life, he'll probably have flashbacks of his mum's breasts...she's actually holding him back, he'll have separation anxiety more than most children.

tinkerbell10

He is going to have a LOT of psycological issues...and Snessy thats just the tip of the ice berg.

Miss Mimi

I'm a fan of attachment parenting, but this is a gross extreme. Surely Time could have found someone else to be their poster mom.

tinkerbell10

Attachment between Mother and Child is different. It will be there. But this is ..... i dont even know what to say!!!!......

FathimaH

thankfully though with only her last born daughter and not my hubby..Phew!She breastfed her till she was like 5 or 6 years old. And I can say with surety that,at least in their case, this "extreme parenting" certainly has many mental long term side effects for both mother and child.
Mind you this is not uncommon as we think *shudders*
Personally I go with the Islamic principal of up to two years only, though of course for many mothers,even stay at home ones, it rarely lasts that long. And shame on anyone who equates being a good mother to the time you spend nursing your children. Whilst mothers milk is most beneficial and healthy for infants, not everyone can do it.

GodFather.

Two wrongs don't make it right MM. Just one stay at home mum is out of order don't think the rest are like that. Take Snessy for example she is a perfect stay at home mum..:)

Miss Mimi

"attachment" parenting isn't just about breastfeeding. It also advocates co-sleeping & baby led weaning. It's basically the exact opposite of the whole Gina Ford "controlled crying" "crib sleeping" & Spoon led weaning.

There's already a lot of stigma against co-sleeping and attachment parenting and Time hasn't done anyone any benefits by reinforcing that its "creepy and weird" with this ridiculous cover.

shisha202

Mimi even though this is the case of extreme parenting its not the first time am hearing something like this, some communities back in my home country do the same, i couldnt even imagine that when i first heard of this , but am used to it now (hearing these type of parenting), i do strongly condemn this and as Fathima said i do stick with Islamic teachings of feeding upto 2 years

Prism

lol...another attempt to belittle a stay at home mom. Guess, she atleast is sincere to what she accepted to do and is realising her (generally speaking) 'potential' as a mom in true sense.

flor1212

leave the child after three months to the nanny? Stop breastfeeding or discourage breastfeeding?

Why give emphasize on the "stigma" things when the child grow up? Why not concentrate on the benefits of the child being breastfed? Why imagine things that had not happened yet?

Are we really thinking the other way now? Before a private sex video is taboo but when someone like Paris did it (a wealthy girl she is), she even proud about it and get even more popular about it.

Let the future takes it's natural course but the time poster was making a positive message! Why the negativism?

Miss Mimi

I have nothing against stay at home mothers Prism, however, as advertised in this article, I don't think being a stay at home mother automatically makes you a good mother.

Miss Mimi

I'm sorry Flor, I don't speak gibberish. What does Paris Hilton have to do with this post?

flor1212

you saw a poster and instead of looking the positive aspects, you gave emphasize on the negative!

snessy

Thank you for the compliment UK :-)

I really don't see how it is beneficial for either mother or child to breastfeed for this long. Speaking from personal experience, I found I was holding my son back by breastfeeding for 16 months, he was refusing to sleep throughout the night because he was looking for comfort and he wouldn't walk. A week after I stopped breastfeeding him, he did both, maybe this is a coincidence but in my head I feel I did him no favours. Experts believe there are no nutritional benefits from breastfeeding after six months anyway.

FathimaH

I agree wholeheartedly. My sister is a single parent, and has never had any option since her son was born but to work. She is both mother and father to her boy. And though I am myself a stay at home mom by choice, I can never for the life of me belittle her herculean task, and assume for even a second that I am a better mother than her.
Being a good mother takes far more than being attached to your baby 24/7!

snessy

Not every mother has the privilege or is financially able to be a stay at home mum - you peeps shouldn't judge.

tinkerbell10

The issue here in NOT about a stay at home mum. Like sness said not everyone is as proviledged to be one.

The issue here is breast feeding a BOY who is just too old to be breast fed! Period!

Miss Mimi

Breastfeeding is hard work, and my kudos to anyone who manages to do it for the recommended one to two years! (most women I know couldn't manage past 6 months, regardless of their work situation). However I have to agree with Snessy, TB & FatimahH (funny how all the women see what's wrong with this) breastfeeding at 4 & 5 years old is in no way beneficial to the child. Neither is plastering his picture on a major international magazine!

Frankly this magazine article just makes me think of Little Britain "Bitty!"

And no Flor, I don't see anything positive about this picture. In my books it's borderline child abuse. And it gives people the wrong idea about attachment parenting.

tinkerbell10

MM - its cuz we women know what it is and all men can think of is....well i dont want to generalize as i do know of many men who will also see it the way we do.

snessy

You're so right MM, I very nearly gave up breastfeeding many times in the first few weeks. It's easy for men to judge,isn't it? I'd like to know when they last breastfed a baby.

flor1212

the argument of the author of the article. You want to sway the opinion to "child abuse" when all your thought are based on assumptions! Read the article again!

Miss Mimi

Flor I've read several articles on this, I just like this article because she made bullet points about the highlights of attachment parenting.

Uk, I did, but he was born tongue tied (common with premies) so wasn't able to latch properly. Eventually I had to put him on a bottle because he wasn't getting enough from me. However, it was not from lack of trying.

Prism

MM...being a working women also doesnt make anyone a better mother compared to a stay at home mom.

And if the issue was about breast feeding a child who is too old to be breast fed then IMO it has nothing to do with a stay at home mom cos a working women can also do the same and so mentioning a stay at home mom was an uncalled for dig at them.

Miss Mimi

Actually Prism, what I said was that everyone on this site...sorry let me rephrase that..All the MEN on this site constantly belittle working mothers and sing the praises of stay at home mothers, yet here is a stay at home mom who is paying too much attention to her children. So not all stay at home mothers are god's gift to the world.

Prism

MM...cant be 'all the MEN' on this site because I am one among them and I dont remember I have ever, intentionally, belittled any working women.

tinkerbell10

Why is this becoming personal????/

Jeez trust a few to stick to the topic at hand!.....

Miss Mimi

Prism: "is realising her (generally speaking) 'potential' as a mom in true sense."

Belittling. Look it up. Learn what it means.

tinkerbell10

i am beginning to hate the word GOOD. Out here I always see GOOD wife/husband or Good Mother/Father....who is to judge what is GOOD and what is BAD???

What is good for one may not be for another!....

Prism

MM...I know but that was used in different context "a stay at home mom" and "a working women" and mom is not the common factor.

Miss Mimi

Prism, that was belittling. Regardless of the context you meant it in.

Now can we please get back to the topic.

flor1212

the preceeding comment remained. MM generalize all MEN as she mentioned and when a member of MEN of this forum reacts, comment is deleted?

And my comment was not even biassed, just expressing that all my previous comments about stay-at-home mums does not in anyway belittle working mums which MM tries to portray!

flor1212

what was the real intent because the link was a personal commentary by the author himself.

Are we discussing teh personal view of the author of the article here?

Appuran

This article doesnt amuse me at all...I have examples of my own cousins back in hometown who breast fed upto age 4 .... the mom grew so pale infact ...
as i got two kids year after another couldnt work it out beyond 7 months for the older one (risking miscarriage) and 12 months for the younger one ...
But i would rather suggest a max of 18 months would be fine and not more than that absolutely ...

Prism

I would stay with my opinion that I didn't, I was talking of 'potential' to make it more clear. But as said, back to the topic.

Miss Mimi

Appuran, did your cousins say why they chose to breast feed that long?

snessy

As far as I'm concerned, unless you have a uterus or breasts you shouldn't be allowed an opinion on things like giving birth and breastfeeding ;-)

flor1212

easy to put a warning: For female Qlers ONLY!

The author of the link article, he looks like a man! Is he?

snessy

Ladies: I feel like a Spice Girl today, I'm all for girl power ;-)

flor: put it this way, I understand men say it's painful to be kicked in the balls, but unless I can experience it for myself, how can I know the actual extent of that pain?

Prism

We arent economists or politicians but we still give opinion on economics and politics...:) Guess if we limit ourselves only to what we can experience life would come to a standstill.

snessy

Prism: you know me well enough to know my post was tongue in cheek :-)

snessy

It's ok flor, the mods & I have a special relationship...I don't upset them and they don't upset me :-)

Miss Mimi

Actually in regards to male pediatricians, I've found I have to ignore their opinions on breastfeeding. They have no idea what it's like, and wouldn't know what a proper latch or an improper latch feels like. I've already told one pediatrician to shove his opinions where the sun don't shine.

flor1212

QL loves beautiful people and you are beautiful!

flor1212

to BAN male pediatrician? What about unmarried or shall we say, female pediatrician who have not experienced motherhood? Are they need to be banned too?

Miss Mimi

I would ban the particular pediatrician that I told to shove his opinions yes. He's an idiot and I'm pretty sure he got his doctorate off the back of a matchbook.

I would ban any pediatrician who can't relate to their patients, regardless of gender.

britexpat

Knew a lady who breast fed her three children. The eldest was 7.

To each his own. If she feels that this is the right way to bond, then good luck to her.

As to the question "how will this kid feel in high school when a friend shows him and every other person in school a cover of him sucking on his mother's t*at?" ?

He will probably be home schooled or be strong willed enough to handle the pressure. Surely, the fault lies with Time for printing such a picture ..

flor1212

that boy is already a CELEBRITY like Paris! Lol!

nomerci

Euwww....that woman is nuts...eeuww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That kid has already issues I am sure...look at his face..is that what a happy, well balanced kid looks like? I think not.

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