The Myth of the Stay at Home Mom

An editorial piece from the Daily Beast about the Myth of the stay at home mommy:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/13/the-myth-of-the-stay-at...

When Rosen said that Ann Romney had “never worked,” it was perfectly obvious that she was referring to the classic definition of work as something one does for pay: “the labor, task or duty that affords one his accustomed means of livelihood,” as Webster’s dictionary puts it. All mothers know that motherhood involves a lot of hard work, but let’s stop pretending that that’s the same as working for a living. It isn’t. When you’re a stay-at-home mom, somebody else is bringing home the paycheck.

Equally misleading was Mrs. Romney’s retort that her “career” was being a mother. Again, Webster’s defines “career” as “a field for or pursuit of a consecutive progressive achievement, especially in public, professional or business life,” and also as “a profession for which one undergoes special training and which is undertaken as a permanent calling.” Motherhood is many things, but as a matter of pure semantics, it’s not a career. It’s also not a “permanent calling,” since kids grow up.

Whether you’re a father with a stay-at-home wife, a working mother with a partner, or a single mother on her own, the buck stops with you if you’re providing the primary financial support for your family—and that responsibility is often terrifying. We all have our wide-awake-at-3-in-the-morning nights, and no doubt Mrs. Romney has endured her share. But her worries, however grave, have never included the ability to feed her kids or keep a roof over their heads—and those are problems that regularly torture countless American women.

For most of them, working for pay is a necessity, and staying home to raise their children is not an option, despite the constant blather about “choice.” Whether or not we want to do so—and many of us do—the majority of us work because we have to, and our children depend on us to bring in a reliable income. No one who has never shouldered that responsibility can ever really know what it’s like—how scary it is, how hard it is, and how lonely it can feel.

The self-appointed defenders of the American family love to exalt motherhood and extol the virtues of women who make the “sacrifice” of staying home with their children, as Peggy Noonan put it on Friday’s Morning Joe.

It’s long past time to acknowledge the heroic sacrifices of the working mothers who do everything that stay-at-home moms do, but who also provide the crucial financial contributions that enable their families to stay afloat, even when the dads drop dead, lose their jobs, run off with other women, or otherwise default on their parental obligations.

When it comes to motherhood, there’s no shortage of heroism or sacrifice no matter which role you play. But for all too many families, if mom didn’t bring home the bacon, there wouldn’t be any food on the table.

Comments

Manna Pro

Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman

I haven't experienced that Nomerci, I think its because I genuinely cared about every woman I've ever been with..Its hard to hate a guy that genuinely cares about you, even if he's constantly making mistakes, screwing up, and giving into temptations

Manna Pro

I know Nomerci...My wife has gone berserk on a few women over the years, I love it...One time she found a note on my windshield from a woman from work instructing me to meet her somewhere..I didn't see it, but my wife did the next day when we were out..It ruined the day, to say the least. I decided to marry my wife after she attacked another girl who was hittin on me. It felt so good to see her go wild like that. That, and seeing her put on her nurses outfit and go off to work one morning convinced me to make her my wife..I like housewives, nurses, teachers and flight attendants- In that order..I brought her a house and retired her in 83..

Manna Pro

There's no such thing on a message board Tinkerbell

britexpat

I'm sure that quite a few women would be ready to "hook up" with a view to getting a house later on...

nomerci

Hmmmm, well, each to their own.
I think you are man to play with, not to marry.A friend of mine married a man like you, she came to regret it deeply.
Guys like you are fun, that's where it begins and ends...the trouble is, some women think they can "tame" guys like you...pretty dumb,IMHO.

insanityOO7

"....the trouble is, some women think they can "tame" guys like you...pretty dumb,..."

So it is proven now that women want to change the character of her partner;

she is attracted towards men who are "nice to play with" and then they fall for these kind of people and then they try to change their personality.

If their personality changes for good after marriage then they become "BORING" and "UNATTRACTIVE" and no longer DESIRABLE and if they don't change then they are NOT FIT AS PARTNER.

So that means that men can never win against women because their parameters keep on changing....we are caught between devil and the deep sea...

Anyways women are dumb in this regard for playing with fire an thinking that their hands won't burn

LoL...

Manna Pro

You are so right Nomerci- My wife tried for 30 years..I was a major project to her, her lifes work...lol.

nomerci

Well, exactly. If you don't want to live with it as it is, keep your hands away from it. As simple as that.

Pink hippo17

Nothing like blowing your own trumpet!.. Lol..Think this has to be agree to disagree, cos it's never going to end

flor1212

positively. But still those illegal things are on discussion. When will you ever learn?

And that's not the topic of the discussion

flor1212

I just hope she can sustain being the breadwinner while her "houseband" remains at home. One thing is for sure, he'll enjoy the early years of your child and that would be great for him. I just hope that the time comes when he would prefer to work than stay at home. Because if not, he himself is breaking your belief, MM, that is BOTH should be responsible for family's financial needs (as you wanted it to be, right, MM?).

wirehead

whew...it was hot in here huh.

so let's just say tatang flor is of the school of thought that a woman was made from a man's rib as is written, and mm is from the school that the first man and woman came out fully formed from a bamboo tree a bird cracked open at the same time. equally. no one preceded the other. no one had to exist before the other.

i don't know about the creation stories of people from other cultures here (and i would love to know them), but the adam and eve creation story is from someone else's culture, not mine. i don't care if it's in the book my faith based its beliefs from, but i personally prefer the latter because it shows our ancient culture believes that both man and woman were created equally. until external factors bastardized our way of thinking.

Manna Pro

Nomercie said:

"Well, exactly. If you don't want to live with it as it is, keep your hands away from it. As simple as that."

Lol- I agree. She always tried to make me into some kind of Dudley-Do-Right or something. She knew what I was when she married me

Miss Mimi

It's so nice that you're interested in my family life Flor. I'm sure that once my husband finishes his Degree he'll be eager to start work.

Pink hippo17

How can Flor be so judgemental about miss mimi's life?..You don't know them or their day to day going's on..A personal attack is just out of order or that's what people lower themselves to when they have nothing better to say..Just because miss Mimi works does not mean she will miss out on the early years of her child..What works for one might not work for the other,but it works for them and thousands of other families where the woman is the breadwinner..I'm thankful i wasn't raised to believe i'm here to serve men..There is a big world out there and i want my child to experience it..Be open minded and no-judgemental or narrow minded and brainwashed..Miss Mimi you sound like a fantastic woman,your husband and child are lucky to have a strong working wife/mother to look up to :)

nomerci

I am just surprised that you people still take Flor seriously.....:P

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