WHY ARE MEN SO SELFISH?

I have many times noticed that a man usually does not have the same type of love,care and affection for his wife and girl friend like what he will have before may be in the beginning for 2 to 3 years.At the passage of time they start ignoring their friends and wife by telling that they are busy and many other things.Moreover when the situation changes they too completely change and they take their girl friend for granted and at first they make them feel wanted and usually the girl tells him everything feeling very close to him.So friends what is the pschycology of a man behind this.Please share your views on this topic.

Comments

A woman's favourite passtime- Complain about men. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
Men are born selfish.
i dont sell FISH ....:(
some are selfish and immoral but some are faithful and loving. They have different personalities and traits.
buti have faced only selfish n mean men in life,very unlucky.wat to du
I no SELL FISH .................................................................................... सोनम दि नेपाली बाबु ....................................................................................
Then the problem is in your choice of men Mehek. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
Every woman’s dream is to be loved by her men forever, man changes ,so to keep a relationship steady you need to embrace new experiences and show him that you are willing to do this for him. This shows that you are willing to change with him for a future together and not be stuck in the past. also you should accept him with all his flaws, love yourself and be selfish sometimes ,Don’t share all your thoughts, feelings,Don’t always be willing to talk. if you are Curious about what's really going on inside your guy's head? read steve Harvey best-selling book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", which he calls "a playbook of sorts ,according to him women are completely clueless when it comes to understanding how men think.
Samia pardon me but if you think steve harvey's book gives you any insight about how men think then you are still clueless. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
sandeepkadian , i dont think so
Well whatever works for you, I just told you a fact. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
samia08 appears to be a very knowledgeable and experienced.
sahi pehchana. samia08 is in the 'business'.
sandeepkadian@ i saw harvey on opera winfrey show . i never wast my time trying to understand how man think , they won`t do that for us ,ignoring them is the best way i think .
what samia said is right.every man and women have their own personality and view towards life.some men won't take and dont like any advice from his wife ,but someone totally depends on the advice from his wife. so what men need is a good support for everything from his wife (for only good things :) ). She should be friendly she should be very caring & loving she should be supportive the same thing will be applicable for men also.
I think ignoring women is also very good. Don't waste your time and try to understand how they think. Take them as they are, and leave them when you can't stand it anymore.
@samia, Its not that men don't want to understand women, they have just given up long time ago.. Ignoring men the best way, well I don't agree but again whatever works for you. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
Mehek, Dont say Man are so selfish? Selfish is common for both genders.I have seen lot of selfish women and men.At the same time i have had experience with unselfish man/women.So don't blame man only,your question should be like this " why some people are so selfish" At the same time we have to evaluate ourself also.Self evaluation is better, before to complaint others. kumaran
Gals, u are mixing attention and love here.. It is fact that we may not give the attention or time we did long back but that doesnt mean love is not there. The world around is moving at a fast phase and to move with it he/she has to give attention to more pressing issues. Gone are the days, when people took time to releax and enjoy life .. Now we live to work or to build an empire but still love is there amoungst us.. After all, its the scarifice we do for the loved ones .. so dont tag us as SELFLESS
kumaran_63, you have experience with both men and woman.. interesting.. isn't it?
men and women don't think the same way, it's as simple as that,,relationships are not that easy as shown in da movie,where live happily ever after. practicaly it's different. problems does not only arise due to selfishness. it's just how two different sex is. as Samia says, men like suprises, moste of them tend to get bore being at 1 state for long. that's why women carry sweet attitude who are willing to "understand" and somtimes compramise. ofcourse depending on situations, they can't giveup all da tym. sandeep is saying he is not selfish, u c there r sweet men 2 ,, ;) mehek, just watch this clip to actually have an idea abt the diff. it's funny and informative( yea all of u can comment abt da clip) peace
Riya hahahaha, dont read BTW ,experienced with man/women in good meaning ok.But really i met lot of wonderful characters of men/women. kumaran
the thing is men show there real nature only in future,in beginning they act very sweet
then how do we judge a man,mr kumaran i am talking about only men not women ok so plz.dont get terrified if i am pointing ur gender
Mehek,, one cant fake personallity like orgasam !!!!
Mehek just stop judging people and you will be fine. Enjoy what you have.. Hope you have a good relationship with a nice guy. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
the man always like to have change for his rutain, the best women for the man who can change his life and remove the boring lool:) MyHotComments
The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart ..mans are no contentment in life..to all man accept it..
Mehek i hope this is common forum.Since you opened this thread you have to welcome the reviews.First evaluate yourself ,as you are selfish or not?Then judge about others ok.I hope you have to grow up further more. kumaran
You should keep up with the man and change the routine every time then he never get bored and selfish.
sweetpink to be content with what you have is as good as being dead. You should always be striving for more in every aspect of life. In terms of relationships it doesn't mean enter into more and more relationships but keep trying to make your existing one more and more beautiful. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
its just a topic we are discussing to share our sides as a man and woman..
sandeep and mehek shud have coffee and talk things out , I am sure it will start with a smile ;) ,,,, how shweeeet. I am going for a coffee 2 ,,,, la la la
Naah 220v I don't drink coffee ;) "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
The sayings of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace be upon him) “All of you are guardians and responsible for those in your wards! The ruler is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them, a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them, a woman is the guardian of her husband`s house and is responsible for it, a servant is the guardian of his master`s belongings and is responsible for them.” The above quotation was said by Prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon him) quoted from Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.18 Narrated by Ibn Umar
I heard Allah`s Messenger (peace be upon him) saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for." Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.1 Narrated by Umar bin Al Khattab
the thing is once our trust is broken and once we have been insulted by someone how can we forgive that man,not possible.any stranger is ok if he deceits us but wen our own people stab a knife in our back it really hurts then how can we forgive them.utter nonsense........
tell mehek, maybe she will make u a juice.
Hadith Qudsi 6 The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘The first of people against whom judgment will be pronounced on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who died a martyr. He will be brought and Allah will make known to him His favors and he will recognize them. [The Almighty] will Say: ‘And what did you do about them?’ He will say:’ I fought for You until I died a martyr.’ Allah will Say: ‘You have lied! You did but fight that it might be said [of you]: “He is courageous.” And so it was said!’ Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire. [Another] will be a man who has studied [religious] knowledge and has taught it and who used to recite the Quran. He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favors and he will recognize them. [The Almighty] will Say: ‘And what did you do about them?’ He will say: ‘I studied [religious] knowledge and I taught it and I recited the Quran for Your sake.’ Alllah will say: ‘You have lied! You did but study [religious] knowledge that it might be said [of you]: “He is learned.” And you recited the Quran that it might be said [of you]: “He is a reciter.” And so it was said!’ Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire. [Another] will be a man whom Allah had made rich and to whom He had given all kinds of wealth. He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favors and he will recognize them. [The Almighty] will Say: ‘And what did you do about them?’ He will say: ‘I left no path [untrodden] in which You like money to be spent without spending in it for Your sake.’ Allah will say: ‘You have lied! You did but did so that it might be said [of you]: “He is open-handed.” And so it was said!’ Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire.’
mr kumaran i hate tamilians now ok coz they are the most selfish
Ameen
but why does Allah test us by giving us pains and making us meet all selfish and crooked people around mr dqatar
Mehek there will always be hurt involved in a relationship beause we build huge expectations from the one we love, most of them unrealistic. When he/she doesn't measure up to those expectations we end up being hurt. Just remember you can't love a person in slices, you got to take the good with the bad. "Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car."
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
i agree with u mr sandeep a human is a mixture of good and bad both and we have to always accept people with der good character rather than bad.am i rite guyssssssss
mehek, wat abt prahu dev ? lol I like his dance, so I like him overall,,, :p
girls has a huge factor why men is selfish..ottha think about it.
as ive said..The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.If someones hurt you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart.. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
sweet pink ohhh how sweeet of u darling,ur rite
people can see only bad sides..good sides we ignore. am i right?
Mehek Hateing tamilians ok.welcome.Now the cat jump from the wall.So you are saying from your own personnel experience, that man are selfish.Dont judje all man from one example.And dont give justification as one sided, hear oppanents explanation also.Then provide your justifications.Let god give you a peace of mind to take a good justification. kumaran
Because Allah will give u heaven as per your test so levae them what they are doing and pray to Allah insllah he will help you if u are right and dont fogrt to pary Vetai Daily "Among the best deeds are to feed the poor and the deserving and to greet those whom you know and those whom you do now know” Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith No. 826 Book 2 Chapter 6 Narrated by Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (r.a.)
what man can do..also woman can do to be fair to all of us..
c mr kumaran i was just kidding ok coz i saw in ur profile ur a tamilian.now plz leave me alone n dont eat my head i don want any comments from u.by the way ur a manger rite then how du u work wid these many spelling mistakes.plz rectify yourself before judging me rite.mr so cald kumaran........ha ha ha.u need justice more than me n now i realy hate tamilians wat u will du..........
Don’t depends on other ----- always do there every u like Or flow Allah and Allahs Messenger (saws) so please don’t flow any person from this three 1) Heart/ mind 2) Allah 3) His Messenger (saws)
dont leave place for Shaytaan in your life because Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verses 11-25: 11 It is We who created you and gave you shape; then We bade the Angels bow down to Adam and they bowed down; not so Iblees (the Jinn); he refused to be of those who bow down. 12 (Allah) said: "what prevented thee (O Iblees) from bowing down when I commanded thee?" He (Iblees) said: "I am better than he: thou didst create me from fire and him from clay." 13 (Allah) said: "Get thee down from this: it is not for thee to be arrogant here: get out for thou art of the meanest (of creatures)." 14 He (Iblees) said: "give me respite till the day they are raised up." 15 (Allah) said: "be thou among those who have respite." 16 He (Iblees) said: "because Thou hast thrown me out of the way lo! I will lie in wait for them on Thy straight way. 17 "Then will I assault them from before them, and behind them, from their right, and their left: nor wilt Thou find in most of them gratitude (for Thy Mercies). 18 (Allah) said: "Get out from here, disgraced and expelled. If any of them follow thee, Hell will I fill with you all. 19 (Allah said): O Adam! Dwell thou and thy wife in the Garden and enjoy (its good things) as ye wish: but approach not this tree or ye run into harm and transgression." 20 Then began the Shaytaan (Iblees) to whisper suggestions to them bringing openly before their minds all their shame that was hidden from them (before): he said "Your Lord only forbade you this tree lest ye should become angels or such beings as live for ever." 21 And he swore to them both that he was their sincere adviser. 22 So by deceit he brought about their fall: when they tasted of the tree their shame became manifest to them and they began to sew together the leaves of the garden over their bodies. And their Lord called unto them: "Did I not forbid you that tree, and tell you that the shaytaan was an avowed enemy unto you?" 23 They said: "O our Lord! We have wronged our own souls: if Thou forgive us not and bestow not upon us Thy mercy we shall certainly be lost." 24 (Allah) said: "Get ye down with enmity between yourselves. On earth will be your dwelling-place and your means of livelihood for a time." 25 He (Allah) said: "therein shall ye live and therein shall ye die; but from it shall ye be taken out (at last)."
mehek has become a reacist, kumaran u need to do somthing. contact LTTT,, btw wat does that stand for?
"the thing is men show there real nature only in future,in beginning they act very sweet"-MEHEK I agree with you....LOL peace brothers!!!
Because the wonem don't give us the care and understanding we deserve. :O(
Power to the non believers, it’s a great feeling to have and hold.
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
plus too much expectations from spouse or BF made the life difficult to attend all commitments at once. One cannot keep wearing a PLASTIC smile on the face all the time. Partners needs to be practical to various situations and circumstances. Build understanding, provide space to each other rather getting upset and complaining at petty issues....
as boys will be boys.. ;) BRITEXpat- as i read your other post ,i thought you have so much care and understanding..what happened????? PEACE ;)
men born to be a protector,provider. maybe that is the reason why we seldom see them very compassionate everytime. try checking: Why men don't listen and why women can't read maps. (forgot the author) =)
Its like saying " I saw a black spot on this white paper".. Why do u ignore the WHITE background to see the small BLACK dot?? Think about it Mehek, were all the men in your family really that bad?? Cant be... And the reason I guess is We ain't perfect, but equally bad. I really wish you to get over your bitter experiences in the past and find a beautiful heart who could understand you better!!! ---If you can't CONVINCE them, CONFUSE them!!!
i had really bitter experiences with my husband and he really cheated me dt set.but my dad n bro really took care of me in the difficult times
sell fish , what do u mean?
are you talking about my life"as i have bitter experienced with mine ??? lolss..It happened, but it doesn't mean you have to be bitter by what you've experienced and hated all men.... Well, it does take me full one year to recover, another year to slowly erase the pain and another year to move on without any bitterness ;)
If One door closed another several doors opens up in LIFE Allah Kareem and look forward positively!
Me Hek, Until you change your attitude,certainely you will never have a better experience.Pitty for your husband,since he married you,who knowes how much worst experience he faced on behalf of your r(o)ud(i)e behaviour.As you said your dad and your brother also a men and helped you in your difficult time.But you are saying men are selfish,here it proves your worst character that you forget the help made by men( Ur dad and Brother). Again i am saying that you will never satisfied with any men.So you will allways have bitter experience only and live until your end day.May god bless you for more and more bitter experience. kumaran
Read the book - 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' to answer your questions! ------------------------------------------------------------ "Every adult of sound mind, should be able to choose to do whatever they want, as long as they cause no harm to others".
Mehek i agree with you ...men are really very selfish and cheater....but not all men... but some husbands are not ....i really dont know why they are like that ...i think admi ki fitrat hi aisi hoti hai...
than women, in part because culturally men have a strong sense of identity outside of their marital or family status. They are very wrapped up in their careers and see that as the primary reflection of who they are in most cases. On the other hand, women in almost all cultures have the most important part of their identity wrapped up in motherhood and being a wife. I think most women see themselves as more of an extension of their husbands than vice versa. This doesn't mean all women; and actually doesn't apply to me, but I am not married :-)       I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
Mehek , I understand the pain u have went through , every one has faced it in some or the other how...... but its wrong to blame all men , I know girls who have betrayed their love for money I have seen guys begging for them to come back even after what they have done ...... So its just that you made a wrong decision or could not see what you where getting into..... It can be bad luck or destiny, Men do care about their loved ones , but its just that there life becomes very demanding with the growing family or aspirations to keep their loved ones happy, We do have to put in lot of energy to earn necessity or luxuries of life, beign busy,working hard to keep their loved ones happy is just another form of LOVE, its a very compitative world out there people just cant be what thay are forever but they will still love. Trust Me do not loose Hope , try starting a new life I am sure U will find real love.
Generally man is a wife loving, hard working, provider for his family and child protector. Other type is an exception...
i have already been separated from my husband and i never expected such a big tragedy in my life mr kumaran,u say watever u want to say its ok not blaming u for anything.how can u say that i was rude to him,i really loved him a lot but finally got deceited u wont understand coz ur a man not a girl
With "liberation" and equality, I believe that many women no longer see themselves as an extension of their husband's identity. The question was about the change of attitude within a relationship as time progresses. Sadly, this applies to both men and women nowadays.
and would like to add that still many women see themselves as an extension of their husband's identity in our society but sometime get lost in depression and find difficult to identify her presence post the age of 40+ due to over confined within the family set up. About the change of attitude within a relationship as time progresses. truly this should applies to both men and women and shall continuously build their relationship as time passes rather making a huge list of complaints against each other. Can we say Mehek is applying double standards when judging men (husband, brother and father)?
Who is this Mehek another sample from the K-series love drama? Always finding selfish men then perhaps there's something wrong with your sense of men finding skills. You need a lesson on how to study a man..i will give you lessons for every time u take me out for coffee. Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
'Selfishness' then I will say (INSAAN ki fitrat hi aisi hoti hain) Selfish is in Human nature and not only in Men.
Mehek Ji !! I can understand your feelings, no worries for every sad ending there is always a happy beginning....:) Therefore, just a friendly advice to you to be happy and accept things as it comes to you. Indulge urself with frneds, go out for Coffee or take some frnds (LIKE ME) for some good coffee...... J/K Peace and Cheers !! :)
Rizks are u feeling ok? should i put this anal thermometer in you? For once you actually gave a serious comment...Tu mahan hai but sala wait in line for the coffee..your dirty tricks wont work. Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
Abe wats this man ?? I also have the right to comment seriously sometimes...lol
Err no you dont...you giving serious comment is like pajju saying he's allergic to booze! Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
heart break; so guide if possible but don't hijack...
Victory bhai, i'm here to guide but under my guidelines only coffee for advice. This female has made the same mistakes over and over again according to her. Wonder where the problem is..in the men or in her? Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
ok Victory bhai !! But i did not hijack here if you can see my comments. I just wrote a small line just to bring a smile on Mehek Ji's face - Tatz It !!
yippy another 2 hour :)
aagaya hijacker Sala- Pajju...:( Pajju, kindly take ur timepiece outta here plz.
men are not selfish they're just less sensitive than women that's why they dont exagerate with expressing feelings like us
Rizks .. they reached safely ? :P
malfoufeh men are not less sensitive than women at all. In fact men happen to have more sensitivity issues than women. Look at Rizks and his issues with his balding head. Men just dont give a hoot at times and women know this and still they want to talk about it like its going to change the way men think. We are simple creatures deal with it. We are raw savage beasts..we want we take..we done we go. khallas!! Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
This is life & this is nature of men .. you have to stick with this...
My issue is never ending and never growing issue, so leave it....:( Dont hit the nerve were it pains the most....:) Ya Pajju, they hav reached safely.
A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand: Trial and Error.................................................................Not Again
i think not all men...mehek u usually meet are the ones belonging to the selfish group. Don't waste your time with this kind of people...as MD said " Take them as they are, and leave them when you can't stand it anymore"... The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. MyHotComments
Actually research shows that certain type of women are drawn to certain type of men over and over again. Its psychological. Women who get beat up etc have a tendency to look for those type of men subconsciously. Like women who love being around jerks and men that cheat. They know they are jerks and cheat yet they cant control not being with them. Now tell me who's the complicated creature? Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :) _[]~SMoKE~[]_  
We need mutual understanding and agree with Smoke that it is more to do with respective gender's psychology. Our hard core, in built values, personal experiences construct our attitude towards another gender. One need to be flexible to learn and change. So many Coffee Makers for Mehek..... Cheers, Be happy amd stop worrying!
right VICTORY..."one need to be flexible to learn and change..." smoke, who's the complicated creature????...... i think BOTH, man and woman :) The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. MyHotComments
nafisa4u....She had created such threads earlier...Look at u mehek ur buddy list have all men and no females...SO what are trying to question...Be practical..
and in every culture, then you will never understand what I was writing about. But that doesn't surprise me :-P       I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
I didn't say "everywhere".. Women in many societies are more empowered and liberated.
it is the women who is idiot. Till now she should know the nature of a man, He wants woman ever young without realising not only her but him self is no longer young and handsome. he uses or abuses a woman and then start looking around for new one.
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
Mehek, you must be clueless about the man!!! Helloooo, it's got nothing to do with the gender, it's all about personality! You got long way to go, honey. Don't give up. You've been warned!
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