Jeremy Clarkson

I love this one ....................................

The Polish embassy in London has complained to the BBC over a Top Gear episode, starring Jeremy Clarkson, which featured a spoof German invasion of Poland.

Reacting to the show, in which Jeremy Clarkson presented a mock advertisement for the VW Scirocco that could get from "Berlin to Warsaw in one tank", the Polish embassy wrote in an official letter of complaint that the German invasion of Poland was an inappropriate subject for humour.

"We understand that Mr Clarkson often jokes about various European nations, about Germans or the French. But we believe that a joke about the Nazi German invasion of Poland is not a proper way to make people laugh," the letter said.

A world with no men? We'd have no one to laugh at! (or to make decisions for us - even if they're ALWAYS wrong)

By Maeve Haran

It was the news that will have men everywhere quivering in their boots. Yesterday it was revealed that scientists have created synthetic human sperm, raising the possibility of a future in which males are redundant. It's a breakthrough with profound ethical and moral implications, but - come on girls - don't we all occasionally wish for a world without men in it? Here, MAEVE HARAN imagines the hilarious pros and cons of a male-free future. . .

'Don't we all occasionally wish for a world without men in it?'

TEN THINGS WE WON'T MISS :-

1) THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT

"Unhand my patio heater, archbishop.

By Jeremy Clarkson

The Archbishop of Canterbury told the faithful on Christmas Day that unless human beings abandon our greed, we will be responsible for the death of the planet.

Hmm. I’m not sure that I can take a lecture on greed from a man who heads one of the western world’s richest institutions. As we huddle under a patio heater to stay warm while having a cigarette in the rain, his bishops are living in palatial splendour with banqueting halls, wondering where to invest the next billion.

Unmasked: But is Top Gear's Stig REALLY F1 ace Michael Schumacher?

By Lizzie Smith

He walked out onto the Top Gear stage to whoops of delight.

But when the elusive Stig lifted his iconic helmet last night he was jokingly revealed as none other than Formula 1 ace Michael Schumacher.

Jeremy Clarkson had previously promised that the true identity of the fearless test driver would be uncovered on the show - the first in the new series.

In his newspaper column Clarkson boasted: 'As a television moment, it's up there with Neil Armstrong walking on the... corpse of JR Ewing.'

And even after 'the Stig' had removed his mask in front of the appreciative audience he kept up the pretence, asking him: 'What's your real name? It's just too amazing for words!'

Jeremy Clarkson’s latest column in the Sunday Times in England.

I had to share.

"I dare you to visit Johannesburg, the city for softies
It’s the least frightening place on earth, yet everyone speaks of how many times they’ve been killed that day"
Jeremy Clarkson

Every city needs a snappy one-word handle to pull in the tourists and the investors. So, when you think of Paris, you think of love; when you think of New York, you think of shopping; and when you think of London – despite the best efforts of new Labour to steer you in the direction of Darcus Howe – you think of beefeaters and Mrs Queen.

Aston Martins, Jeremy Clarkson, The Beatles, Churchill, David Beckham's right foot...there's no denying that Britain has done alot for this world...feel free to name the pros (Manchester United seems like a fitting example :D) and the cons (Spice girls...thanks alot) so that we can see the true value of what the Crown and all it's people have done for us!

http://entertainment...

Jeremy Clarkson apologises after Gordon Brown 'one-eyed' jibe. Philippe Naughton.

The presenter Jeremy Clarkson was forced to apologise today after branding Gordon Brown a "one-eyed Scottish idiot" during a promotional event in Australia.

The outspoken Top Gear star made the comment during a press conference in Sydney to publicise a touring stage version of his hit TV show, at which he also accused the Prime Minister of lying about the true state of the economy.

Published: 24 Jan 2009

YOU may have heard this week that a country on the other side of the world has a new leader and as a result everything is solved.

The North Pole has begun to freeze over again, the financial crisis is at an end, the leaders of Israel and Hamas will soon be making public man love and your iPod headphones will no longer get all tangled up when you put them down for a moment.

Pretty soon, all the problems in Africa will be sorted as well because, apparently, this astonishing new leader has an amazing ability to stroll over oceans and turn fishes into huge, sprawling fields of wheat. Pausing only to cure leprosy during elevenses.