Funnies

[Mod note: Use the search to find related topic no need to post another one after years]

Hi friends, I thinks some of these are already posted here....and some are not... So anyways I am posting watever I got in an e-mail ,sorry
.............
roseazizia

Sardardeclares:

I will never marry in my life and

I'll give same advice to my children also

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SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. .

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A donkey kicked sardar & ran away

sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra& started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de rahahai'.

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sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure likeCoke bottle.

Wife, after a fight!!

Never sit with your wife in the car, after a fight, here's what can happen:

A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place....

The man says "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

MAN: No sir, I was going 65.

WIFE: Oh, Harry. You were going 80.
[The man gives his wife a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

MAN: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
WIFE: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
[The man gives his wife a dirty look.]

Officer:I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

A friend has emailed me some interesting news clips. I hope you will enjoy its...

It's Good to Be a British Criminal
Victim Debra Wilson testified that she had been driven nearly into bankruptcy by loan shark Robert Reynolds, 39, who extorted over time the equivalent of about $135,000. In December, Reynolds was convicted in Durham Crown Court but ordered to repay only the equivalent of about $2,300. (However, the judge warned that if Reynolds failed to pay, he could be jailed for up to 35 days!) [BBC News, 12-23-09]

One Day early morning a Taxi Driver was found an old man, he stopped and give him lift because he was too old, on the way there was a man waiting for Taxi, he stopped and the man enter the taxi, the taxi driver told him first we will drop the old man sitting in front seat, the man replied are you crazy or drunk, there is no one in the front seat. The Taxi Driver was surprised then the old man replied that no body can see me, only you can see me because I am an Angle and came to take your sole, you have only 5 minutes, hurry up an go for morning prayer, the Taxi Driver immediately stopped the taxi and hurried for the prayer, when he came back there was No Taxi No Old man.

A Wife is a wife, no matter who you are!!
Do U guys Agree?

Ok I am not advertising for this product here but check out this commercial. Taking friendship to a whole new level :P

http://www.youtube.c...

Training Courses Now Available for Men in Doha. Please enroll ASAP!!!!

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop.

2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge.

3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral.

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead.

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? - You CAN Tell the Difference!

6. Accepting Loss I: If It’s Empty, You Can Throw It Away.

7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won’t Bring It Back.

8. Going to the Supermarket - It’s Not Just for Women Anymore!

9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In.

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . . .

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle".

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.

Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

(Best one)