weekend dyok: magnanakaw

LupiN
By LupiN

Pumasok ang isang magnanakaw sa isang bahay...
Dahan-dahang siyang naglalakad sa loob ng bahay at ng papunta na sa hagdanan para pasukin ang master bedroom ay bigla siyang natigilan ng may marinig siya…
"tinitingnan ka ni Jesus... "
Napigilan sya sandali pero ng muling hahakbang may nagsalita na naman…
"wag, tinitingnan ka ni Jesus..."
Binuksan ng lalaking magnanakaw ang kanyang flashlight at tinapat mula sa parte ng pinanggalingan ng boses at nakita nya ang isang loro sa loob ng hawla.
Nakakagulat ka naman… ano ang pangalan mo?
"ako si Pedro" sabi ng loro
Pedro parang hindi tipikal na pangalan ng loro ang pangalan mo. Sambit ng magnanakaw.
Nagsalita ang loro "sa pangalan ko nagtaka ka na… pano pa kaya yung kay Jesus na isang doberman???"

---o0o---

Isang gabi...
Babae: honey, honey merong magnanakaw binubuksan yung ating bintana!
Lalaki: hay....
Babae: bakit maluwag pa yata loob mo?
Lalaki: kasi mabubuksan na din natin yung bintanang yun! tagal ko nang di nabubuksan yun eh....

---o0o---

Babae: honey...! gising sa sarap nang tulog natin di natin namalayan na may magnanakaw na pala kagabi! at ninakawan tayo!
Lalaki: oo nga ‘no!
Babae: sa sarap nang tulog natin! pati kama nanakaw!

---o0o---

Lalaki(magnanakaw): hmmm alin kaya manakaw daming appliances itong TV ayy kamukha din nang TV namin to ahh ... yung iba naman eto DVD ay parang meron na din ako nito ah!
(mayamaya pumasok sa kuwarto)
Lalaki: nyaaaak! pati itong sinelas kamukha din nang kay misis!
Lalaki: nyak pati may-ari nang bahay kamukha din ano ba naman to!
Babae (nagising): huy bakit ganyan ang suot mo halika na nga dito tulog na tayo!

---o0o---

Anong kaibahan ng pulitiko sa magnanakaw?
Ang pulitiko tatakbo muna bago magnanakaw. Samantalang ang magnanakaw, magnanakaw muna saka tatakbo.

---o0o---

Isang magnanakaw nakapasok sa loob ng Malakanyang…
Di niya namalayan nakapasok siya sa kwarto ni GMA at First Gentleman at biglang nagising ang dalawa. Di pa nakakaimik ang mag-asawa nagtatakbo na ang kawatan sabay sabing... MAGNANAKAW! MAGNANAKAW!

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