Seeking for Advice please...
I am a Filipina who used to work in middle east with my husband and son.. To make my story short, I needed to fly back to Philippines for some personal reasons and with that my relationship with my husband got rough and dull. He accused me of having an affair with another guy without any haze just bcoz he saw an old picture with a friend wherein I never kept that photo from him for I know that I am not hiding anything. He all of a sudden stop sending support for us since December. He is getting QR10,000 and not getting even a single cent for my son. I don't want to make things worst for both of us but I want to fight for our rights this time after being still. Yesterday I called him to tell that his son needs some medication and milk and instead of getting alarmed, he just throwed me back really mean words. I don't know if he is currently attached with someone right now but that I don't think it is right for him to do this to us.. I told him I have everything to make him regret this. I know he even told his employer he graduated from college though he's not... I even have his fake documents (diploma..etc). Anyone can give advice please? I am really helpless now...
Things will go worse,try to talk to him through parents or common friends,tell him clearly that you are asking for his only child and not other 3 kids who are not his,approach police where ever you are they will contact your embassy here,if you have guts publish his name and company with mobile many from QL may call and give every ones moral support to you.
Dont think any more kids in future,you have enough problems now
Sad to know that you have to go through all this with yoor Son. Many above have suggested to seel legal help or get people to mediate; this will not work for sure. I suggest you take a step back and think for a amicable solution. Reporting the certificates to his compnay will on,y gain vendetta. Frantically trying to get in touch with him will have him feel more insecure and important. These matters need time to mature, its like the wine process. Dont stir it to much else you risk spoiling it. Its easy for many to say- go to the court, speak to the parents etc etc. Think how does it help, you get him back or get him to help you morally or financially. You know him best, chalk a plan, implement it in phases, if one phase works out they try the second. All the best. Refrain from involving too many parties or its inevitably over.
first of all, its not happen only with pilipinos, it can be happen with any one. Second you have to talk with his family members, his friends, make him understand that every person in this world have past and past means yesterday which never come again. Try to show him that now you only love him, he is the only man in your life. See, men are very emotional, talk with him, i know its difficult to talk with him but you have to, do whatever what must talk with him, dont show your problems, show your love, your care, talk with him about your romantic moments and i am sure that this problem will solve by the grace of ALLAH. Dear, you can live your own but if you live with your partner, its something else. isnt . your husband loves you and you just show your love and then see. i pray to ALLAH. please, try your best for keep this relation as ........ no further comments.
there's something dejavu in my mind after i'm reading your story .anyway to solve your problem you have to go to a public lawyer...try to seek advise in shariah court c-ring road. muslim or non muslim will be entertain there.they have this family consultation center..God bless...=)
i am really sorry for you.. i just don't understand why to make 4 kids with such jerks like your current and seems to be your previous husbands?
but anyway, MJ's advice is most sensible.. go talk to the lawyer. I am sure, should be some "public" lawyer or so for poor people.. not everyone can afford paying a fortune, but everyone have to have equal rights to defend themselves..look for the "governement lawyer" or something like that.. File the divorce and forcibly make him paying his part for his son.
I know, I understand...that is why i ended up working here myself :(
Again...just wishing you luck for now and more strength, good to know we helped even just a little :)
Hope your baby boy will get well soon ;)
God bless you and your kids!
May be you girls knows better MJ/Jaryz. But again its easy to break, mending wont be possible.
thank you Jaryz...
yah right Jaryz,.. let's hope so..
i really don't know what to do from here.. i doesn't even know why I ended up doing this. this is all his fault!!! what a crap of him! that is why i am seeking advice where to go where to start, whom to talk... i can't even imagine we'll end up like this. this is so pathetic on my side :(
wishing there is still hope for such case as cathy's...
how many percent of Filipina working here in Doha who has a similar story like hers :(
Wll..goodluck to you cathybabe...
For half the cost of a lawyer, I can make you a widow, free to re-marry and find the happiness you deserve!
All I want is to give him a lesson bcoz he is so at ease that I cannot do anything about this... Well maybe yes but every thing has an end.
she tried everything...but it is useless...her story is more than what it is written...and again, MJ is right!
there is nothing to do now but get a legal help, though it is not easy nd a very long process to do it but it is her only chance if she wants financial support from her husband!
asking for legal assistance would be the best thing to do.. you'd need a job to afford a lawyer.. or you can ask for assistance from organizations/advocates for women..
As much as I want to ask for legal advise but I am not capable on doing that now, I am not financially ready hope you know... I really wanted to. Maybe I am just so down and frustrated that's why I ended up doing this. Thank you for listening and understanding.
a similar story happens more than 9 years ago!hmm not exactly like hers,more than...worst..but the woman survived working in doha now ..... :)
BTW, cathybabe... 3 kids with another man, and 1 kid the youngest only with your present husband right???? I do understand it is not easy to look for a job there in Philippines.... Again, am asking you..DID YOU ASK his parents help???????
Arien, if she talks to him again, maybe better if not with a relative from either side as it will not be biased...
Try talking to him again , involve a common friend or relative to mediate. Try everything possible before breaking it up. Reporting and jeopardising his job is not going to help you in anyway.
MJ is right... all you can do now is to get advise LEGALLY. You are not even asking support for the other 3 but only your youngest son with him.... I feel I know 70%of your story why the parents are bias, knowing our Filipino culture about marriage and all...
BTW, what you did and WILL do in the future is not disrespecting..IT IS YOUR RIGHTs and the baby! :)
I already did.. thinking that he would be alarmed at least but it doesn't change a thing well maybe bcoz his friends are also advicing him that I am not capable of doing those matters... Even all his friends and family. His family is also in the middle east. No one is here in the Philippines...
You know I don't think viciously... Before I end up doing this, I already tried compromising, begging, trying things that will fit his mood and a lot including talking to his parents who is also of course bias to him... Do you think I would do such a disrespecting thing like this for me if I haven't tried doing other possible solutions? I don't know where to go now... I am so down. I have too much problems and still he's doing me this.
Informed to your husband that you r going to informed to Philipines embassy about your case and then try to get advice of advocate for getting compansation from husband if u do not want to stay more with him. Or u want to stay with him then try to expalin with this things with his best friend and do settlement.
Informedto your husband that you r going to informed to Philipines embassy about your case and then try to get advice of advocate for getting compansation from husband if u do not want to stay more with him. Or u want to stay with him then try to expalin with this things with his best friend and do settlement.
so there's more to the story then cathy; calling his office won't help you in any way i guess because as you've said the're filtering your calls. noone here really could tell you the right thing to do right now, it will be all up to you in the long run.
i hope things will be better for you and your kids, if your husband doesn't want to give you financial support then so be it, The One up there will take care of him :)
talk to a lawyer...
Any man can make a baby.
It takes a real Man to be a FATHER!
It seems like a complicated issue. How come she survived with this person if he is so shallow. "No Smoke Without Fire", it would be worth getting the truth before you jump in. Good Luck.
for you guys to understand my story, i have 4 kids and the first 3 isn't his.. if I could only support all those 4 kids i wouldn't mind if won't show up at all anymore but I am so helpless now... He is getting too much and all I am asking for is my son's right. I am his wife yes but I don't mind if I won't get anything for myself. Just for my son...
Jaryz....sure ...just see that you dont leave your hubby unattended...:) BTW what is 'agen'..
Publish his mobile number here..
I am not actually a judgemental person, nor I will start now to be one... I just wish I knew the other side of the story...but since we only know your side, then all I can advise you if you still need my advise... calling the office is useless, u tried it and well, look what happened. Did you try talking with his parents there??? Ask them for help, I bet your husband will listen with his parents... Agen goodluck my dear!
CathyBabe, Give me his mobile number and work location and I will track him down. Give me your number and I will give you status reports on his activities.
good to know..so it means i can get married....agen??? :)
I don't even know where to start.. This morning I tried calling his office to talk to his boss about what's happening and their secretary (who is also his friend) is filtering my call. They're so bias to him... I know he is making wrong stories about me and it is so unfair that they doesn't even know the real score and yet they still judge me...
I feel I know this story very well...hmmmmm
And one more thing...If being happily married is like this( as per your profile)...Gudness, I dont wanna be married....agen? :(
MY ADVISE : talk to his mom/dad/family there about your situation. Usually, they are the one who will help you first then later on, they have to talk to thier son...
If all comes to worst, then it is time to talk to him straight about what are you going to do. If you have proof that (maybe he has somone) coz usually there is always wife instinct you know...then you can blacklist him....legally and he will be deported. Well it will be a very long, hard process and needed a lot of your time and effort.
first of all, at least get yourself a job so you can provide you son his basic needs, prioritize him for now because you are the only one he can depend on then maybe after some time contact your husband again and try to settle your differences
to attack your ex husband , not the right idea to say about fake documents ,
what u gonna win later , even if there s a chance to support u and your son , it wont be anymore , maybe one day he will miss the son and will feel regret .
coz of u r far it dont help , try to send him always thru his mail fotos for your son in different days , how he looks like , happy or not , sick , ,,,,,,,
Jaryz...hers is almost a two year old profile ....she would have been happy when she created it....:)
sorry to hear about your story...Nothing new...it happens with many Pilipinos here... most of them have gf or temporary wives here.. Reporting to his employer will only make things worse. Better ask you parents or his parents or a common friend to talk to him.
report to Qatar Embassy in phillipines... they might help you out in this case...