My husband and his female colleague

By medan

I am just one confuse wife or may be I am over react, I dont know exactly how to express my "objection" effectively to my husband.

My husband working for one top airline here and most of his colleagues are single females.

From the place we come from (Asia), there is strict limitation for married man to have friendship with female colleague (well, it's about friendship between opposite sex there will always risk).

His close colleague is one philipina single girl. He close to this girl for about 1 year already. She called my husband "dad" coz she's 10 years younger than him. My husband introduce me to her one day.

I feel so uncomfortable with their friendship, since 1 day, she asked my husband to pay for her girl friends farewell party and they went out up till mid nite to restaurant and corniche with 2 other girls. She didnt even bother to call me at least to get me involve in this party. I have no clue up till I saw their snaps in face book!

And then, my husband also pick and drop her at the airport as well.

So, please tell me if I am over react or over jealous, or do you QL'er think it is just over limit for friendship between married man and his female colleague? I dont really know her, just met her once.

My hurt feelings is really bothering me. Once, I told my husband that I was uncomfortable with their friendship.

What to do? Help please.

By dota• 11 years 6 months ago.
dota

any updates? +P

By sajinchacko• 11 years 6 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
sajinchacko

medan...nxt tym...ur husband goes out....to party...go with him.....or try makin him jealous.....by just talkin with any good male frnd of urs....do it...he will com to track....or else...complaint to police...they will take care of this....

By s_isale• 11 years 6 months ago.
s_isale

nothing to do with Filipino girl, this could happen with any girl of any nationality......

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

All the person know what is good and bad. all depend on environment. as i know about Philippine girls. they are open. some are very good and some very bad. if your husband strong in girls matter no problem.

talk to your husband. and try to make keep him happily. and don't expecting him too much because he also human.

me also same like your husband. but i know it's wrong. but i don't know why i can not stop this type of relation ship

By painther• 11 years 6 months ago.
painther

..it happens only in QL...

problem raised in Mar10, solved in April-10...,,,but in QL, we keep on advising in Dec-10...may be we'll do that in Dec-2022...:)-

By happygolucky• 11 years 6 months ago.
happygolucky

nahi re... no track change... just facts... ek blonde hi bina soche samjhe dekhe baat kar sakti hai...:)

By Arien• 11 years 6 months ago.
Arien

shhhh.. respect the teacher. ;)

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

oye

track change kaha se hogayee...................lol

By happygolucky• 11 years 6 months ago.
happygolucky

A blonde in her own words....:)

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

Arien

probably these guys are digging for a treasure ;)

By Arien• 11 years 6 months ago.
Arien

sreejith/isobel mind checkin the date of the thread? diggers?

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

Tell him to eff off and go slap the baithch that sha**ed your husband. Simple really.Make them both suffer,

By sreejithsql• 11 years 6 months ago.
sreejithsql

dont worry, think positive,some time threre wont be any pblm..but need to take care too cause we cant belive these type girls....as a precautnary pls speak to ur hubby and remind about his family and our culure in india/

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

medan, i'd say reading these comments will do more damage than good. best you can do is sit your hubby down and talk things with him.

i also dont think your hubby will appreciate your discussing your trust issues in QL.

--------------------------------------------------

"Maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phonecalls, brokenhearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope."

By pogi2ehh• 12 years 3 months ago.
pogi2ehh

riaz_ak do we judge your nationality? why do specify Filipina(in general), if i say also your nationality is super cheap also what do you feel

********nothing to do with nationality**********

********************Respect**********************

By qatarisun• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
qatarisun

nomerci, as I said, it depends on WHAT DOES SHE WANTS. I didn't say: DO NOT confront him because it might push him away. I said: you CAN confront him only when you are ready to lose him. Because no one can predict his reaction. And we cannot advise the girl to leave the jerk since he is outing with other girls, like few have suggested here. This wouldn't be right to give her such advice.

We only can draw for her different types of scenario, and it's up to her to follow the one she likes.

For someone such situation is acceptable, another would get angry like Oryx, and someone would just leave him on the spot. It’s all about how you feel and – more important – what’s your goal.. and hey, nomerci, we have discussed this point, and this is your opinion, that sometimes it's better to shut up in order to keep a status quo.

So again, it’s up to the wife how to deal with this situation, and she has to think carefully before starting acting, WHAT result she wants to get. This is my point.

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

By gtim• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
gtim

Qataria, i feel the same also... i always trust my instinct as a wife. I don't believe that nothing emotional involve between the two.

Heartbeat:"actually its totally depends on us what kind of relationship we want to make wid oders, in offices der is nothing wrong either we interact wid opposite gender cz we hav to oderwise we cant survive........."

... actually that's true, it depends on what kind of friendship we want, but keep in mind that if your married, your friendship must have some limitations...

You can't tell me that you only bestfriend, nothing involve, but keep in mind that physical attraction happens and emotional bonding occurs. That's where everything started...

By heartsbeat• 12 years 3 months ago.
heartsbeat

no she shud not do so

cz it will create more probs........

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By Sparticus• 12 years 3 months ago.
Sparticus

Hi Medan,

If your husband is her dad then you can be my mum. Let's start going out for parties, dinners, and long walks on the corniche at 2 a.m.

Lets see how your husband feels about that?????

By Qataria78• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Qataria78

What pick and drop her at the airport , you must be kidding me . Look if you tell your husband your feeling and ignore you , get her number and talk to her , tell her you better back off or else :) trust me i would . Yeah right friendship nowadays there is no friendship between a man and a women to this extreme , open up your eyes and trust me. I was angry after reading your post , what else if i was in your situation . He better keep his distance tell him that .

By gracefabular• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
gracefabular

Do the same thing even if you love him and not intending to cheat him. For example, tell one of your coworker or best friends, cousins or whoever. Let him drop you here and there and go late at night with your friends. Every time he asks you where have you been, tell him with my good friend X or with my workmate Y. Once he gets mad and interogate, ask him how about that filipina workmate? If you end your called best friend relationship with that girl, I will end mine with my best male friend.

Choose 10 years old younger boy and let him call you mama:)

By heartsbeat• 12 years 3 months ago.
heartsbeat

yeah yeah i agreed........

we shud be totally free to ask anything to our life partner........

cz already der is no difference in any place in our married life so go nd ask him ur heart feelings.......

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By Eagley• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Eagley

heartsbeat, wouldn't go one on one. Never have.

Usually either meet male friends in public gatherings or have at least 1 lady along, if not the wife. Always open the invitation for the wife to come along cos aware of how insecure the wife would feel, esp if she's a housewife who's not very independent (minded or physically). Never leave any room for doubts to be planted and fester into bigger problems.

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By Eagley• 12 years 3 months ago.
Eagley

heartsbeat said 5m4rtGlamour ...actually we always wonder in wrong thinking about some one i agreed some people r flirting, its life, time can change anyone's mind even we hav dead trust on him/her but we cant do anything to stop him/her....."

- Oh oh... :-0 Ok. At my age and at this particular point in my life, I am unlikely to be suspicious of a partner that I have decided to trust. It's PRIOR to deciding to trust him that I will notice enough to tell me whether he can be trusted or not.

But of course, I'm sure my married female friends would say exactly the above "... flirting, its life, time can change anyone's mind even we hav dead trust ... ". I have actually been so advised before, so I speak from experience.

While I still think this way now (I'm criticized that this is naive - but after all the trouble I've been through, I still view things this way) but hmmm... Lol! But that's also precisely why I'm not married. It might be different if hubby makes me an emotional wreck, in which case, things might just get a tad dangerous...

/I'll have you people to remind me of what I said this day, do I not? I might need it later if he drives me insane. Might end up on Crime and Investigation channel... Sigh!

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By heartsbeat• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
heartsbeat

actually its totally depends on us what kind of relationship we want to make wid oders, in offices der is nothing wrong either we interact wid opposite gender cz we hav to oderwise we cant survive.........

bt after office like go to some mall bla bla wid our opposite gender colleague is lil bit scary nd cause to increase any one doubts so better to take our life partner toooo wid us if der r some office colleagues......

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By Eagley• 12 years 3 months ago.
Eagley

nomerci said eagleemmanuel, so it would be perfectly fine for her to have male friends? And go out with them, and pick them up to take them to work?"

That should be the case but as Alumnar said, "if it was the wife doing it it would be totally wrong and taken as betrayal."

nomerci said Alumnar, maybe so. But of course, eagle, as posted in other threads, comes from a more "conservative" society, where things are viewed different from ours.

Therefore our advise may not be applicable."

- Your key words being "may not be applicable". Yes, although that would be the general statement. Specifically, not everyone agrees with every single thing.

"In our society married men do not "need" female friends, although can and do have them, to be able to treat their wives decent, as men in our society have proper female contact and therefore "understanding" of women all their lives."

- Correct. And this is the reason why generally, they are better able to understand women better.

"Apparently, due to gender segregation in other societies, men do not know how to treat their wives,"

- Accurate, up to here.

"unless they have, when married, female friends.

Or so it seems."

- This is where you have consciously or unconsciously put a negative twist to this. My point was that gender segregation is not a progressive way forward. Co-ed is the way to go, but as I have said before in other threads - total freedom is anarchy.

"Freedom within limits" is a paradox but a necessary one.

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By heartsbeat• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
heartsbeat

actually we always wonder in wrong thinking about some one

i agreed some people r flirting, its life, time can change anyone's mind even we hav dead trust on him/her but we cant do anything to stop him/her.....

so let da things to be happen bt u must talk ur partner cz it will help to stop misunderstandings nd more issues in ur personal life. if u dont do dat u wil be hyper nd will exhaust ur anger on oder things nd ur married life wil be disturbed badly.......

best of luck

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By 5m4rtGlamour• 12 years 3 months ago.
5m4rtGlamour

You're right heartsbeat. There is a natural attraction... She should talk to her husband and get peace. Hopefully he will calm her mind.

By heartsbeat• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
heartsbeat

i agreed wid u men nd women can be friends

bt its also depend on da culture cz in different countries da same friendship taked different meanings.....

nd der is also a natural attraction b/w men nd women tooo..........

bt she shud talk to her husnad, he wil satsify her.....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By 5m4rtGlamour• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
5m4rtGlamour

I think men and women can be friends without it being an affair. I also think you should tell your husband about your feelings and confusion. He may not realize your discomfort.

By 7861• 12 years 3 months ago.
7861

just tell him that u dont like his relation with this girl...may be he can give u an explanation

By Hajira• 12 years 3 months ago.
Hajira

Medan, talk to your husband first. If you're not satisfied and comfortable with his response, go out and find ways to talk to the girl.

By LAMBORJEEPNEY• 12 years 3 months ago.
LAMBORJEEPNEY

there's a Fire!

"katas ng qatar"

By FlyingAce• 12 years 3 months ago.
FlyingAce

Marie_2 You Don't Trust Pilots At All?

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

By abelle• 12 years 3 months ago.
abelle

well..maybe try to talk to ur husband first.,its ur right to express ur feeling,,,thats a woman instinc,,,

confirm to him whats bothering to ur mind cuz u will get sick thinking every time ur husband at work or arrive home late,,i remembered my best friend problem before,,,almost same situation as urs,,her husband cousin wants to call him also---"DAD"and she wants him to pick and drop to her office,,etc,,,which is so annoying...hayzzzzz....keep on praying medan...save ur family...goodluck!!!!

friends only!!!

abelle

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Oh I got excited for a while after reading QLFG.. Well never mind.

By NEMO1986• 12 years 3 months ago.
NEMO1986

I think its time to start a Community - QLFG - "Qatar Living Family Grievances" :-)

-------------------------------------------------------

No E-Shoes......

By triaxh20• 12 years 3 months ago.
triaxh20

your man is cheating on you...

he will deny everything...

By GodFather.• 12 years 3 months ago.
GodFather.

Medan you mention that the place you come from men and women are equal right.

But is that really true? If your husband had doubts about you do you think he would do the same?

-----------------

Can We Fix It?

Yes We Can!

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Been All over Britexpat

By britexpat• 12 years 3 months ago.
britexpat

That's great.. What part of Lesbania are you from ?

By flanostu• 12 years 3 months ago.
flanostu

i wouldn't want my daughter any other way.

By mbp85• 12 years 3 months ago.
mbp85

i would like to thank the female members of Filipino community because all of bored out men in qatar can be Tiger Woods and we don't have to be filthy rich.

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Now to go completely off the course, I am lesbian

By flanostu• 12 years 3 months ago.
flanostu

and something even more unrelated, whyteknight is my daughter.

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Something even more unrelated, I am younger than flan

By flanostu• 12 years 3 months ago.
flanostu

nomerci has a point, you should go out partying with a younger guy.

and now something totally unrelated, i'm now free tomorrow night.

By Elegance• 12 years 3 months ago.
Elegance

Medan, All of us are so concerned about your life and marriage!Have a nice weekend with your family.Dont give up on anyone or anything......

By Oryx• 12 years 3 months ago.
Oryx

I am European and I would be really angry if that happened to me.... please dont think its an Asian thing.

In English we say 'what is good for the goose is good for the gander'...as Non Merci said.... if your husband thinks his behaviour is ok....then why don't you go out with a guy 10years younger????? See if he thinks it is ok. Give him a taste of his own medicine and then he can see how sweet his ego trip is.

By novita77• 12 years 3 months ago.
novita77

medan, i have alot of girlfriends who the husbands are pilot for the Qatar national airlines, they go out and about with the husband as a couple .... Why cant you do the same with your husband ?

I honestly think it is not right if your husband paying for 'single female's birthday party' .... something is fishy over there. And if it is just a friend why is he not involving you in the gathering ???

By Glorya• 12 years 3 months ago.
Glorya

follow your instinct just what smoke advice you

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

By roseesocta@yahoo.com• 12 years 3 months ago.
roseesocta@yahoo.com

OMG!

maybe U can talk 2 your husband,i smell something

what a kind of friend is that..dont ignore it..

OBSERVE FIRST YOUR HUSBAND AND B4 U ASK HIM THEN...

By nomerci• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
nomerci

Alumnar, maybe so. But of course, eagle, as posted in other threads, comes from a more "conservative" society, where things are viewed different from ours.

Therefore our advise may not be applicable.

In our society married men do not "need" female friends, although can and do have them, to be able to treat their wives decent, as men in our society have proper female contact and therefore "understanding" of women all their lives.

Apparently, due to gender segregation in other societies, men do not know how to treat their wives, unless they have, when married, female friends.

Or so it seems.

What comes around, goes around....

By Alumnar• 12 years 3 months ago.
Alumnar

... don't expect a reply to that post of yours. Of course if it was the wife doing it it would be totally wrong and taken as betrayal.

By nomerci• 12 years 3 months ago.
nomerci

eagleemmanuel, so it would be perfectly fine for her to have male friends? And go out with them, and pick them up to take them to work?

What comes around, goes around....

By Eagley• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Eagley

Well said, QS.

And agree with Khawaga, Colt 45 n others on a similar track. Disagree with jumping to conclusions without properly getting facts straight. Communication is always key. Also disagree with not allowing hubby freedom to have female friends. If he doesn't have female friends, how will he be better able to understand his wife and meet her halfway? Same problem with wives having only female friends - perceptions will be skewered to a large extent.

Medan said "...I was just trying to justify and find out whether my jealous is NORMAL or over react. So, I can act wisely."

- Normal to FEEL jealousy BUT you don't need to act on your emotions. As you said, you are strong enough to act wisely.

"Well, for me sharing in this forum might help other wifes who's facing the same problem as well but dont dare to put their thought in writing."

-Indeed, it will be helpful to some of the many women I know who read but keep a very low profile and never post here.

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By Alumnar• 12 years 3 months ago.
Alumnar

If he is pushed away by confrontation I would agree that it will be good riddance! He should not be married if he intends to fool around. The OP's feelings and family life are at stake here too, so why care about him anyway? He is not a taxi driver, party sponsor, is he? He has a family and his life should be with them when he is not at work. If there is no harm in anything why not take his wife with him on the outings? Three people is one too many?

Sorry but rethought my kinder post and nomerci tipped me over too ;) The truth might be hard to digest but what matters is the OP's happiness here.

By nomerci• 12 years 3 months ago.
nomerci

oh, and all that stuff about"be careful, it might push him away"..well, if that is the case, good riddance. Seriously, how about considering what may push YOU away?

I am not talking about constant nagging, tearful outbursts etc, that is palin stupid, but clearly stating what is on and what is not.

What comes around, goes around....

By nomerci• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
nomerci

Medan, it is quite simple. All you need to say is this" How would YOU feel if I did what YOU do". He should get the point, if he cares for you.

A married man going out to a party with one girl, (not a group), picking her up to take her to work etc., is not acceptable in my book.

What comes around, goes around....

By Alumnar• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
Alumnar

... follow your heart and do what it tells you to do. Tell your husband you are not comfortable with the situation. Your husband might not have anything in mind, but you don't know about this other girl. The earlier it is stopped the better it is before anything might develop. If he is in a good position he will be looked at as an 'open wallet' (what you call 'sugar daddy') and of course - any girls needing financial support will be willing to give something (physical) in return as that is the only way they have to pay the 'favour' back. He might break eventually and give in to her, or he might not. It is up to you now to put the cards on the table for him and make him realize what he would lose if you walk out of his life with your children.

I am sure all will turn out well, be firm and strong :)

By britexpat• 12 years 3 months ago.
britexpat

Perhaps he's her "sugar" dad !

By nomad.me• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
nomad.me

I have heard similar story from a friend whose dad used to work for an airline. My friends mom had heck of a life because of her husband's special friends.

Medan, your are certainly not over reacting. Take my advice and take charge of the situation. Tell your husband to end this friendship right now.

This friendship is the first drop of rain and if you don't control it now it will turn into a storm.

By medan• 12 years 3 months ago.
medan

Whoopss ! it's coming out of control.

Please guys, really sorry if I offend one nationality, I wasnt in control of my thinking today.

By somwerNdmiddle• 12 years 3 months ago.
somwerNdmiddle

unless he doesn't comment again soniya

www.live365.com/stations/thevault85

By flor1212• 12 years 3 months ago.
flor1212

that's dangerous!

>

>

>

wala lang

By soniya• 12 years 3 months ago.
soniya

ohh god, i m sure this topic will move to harsh bashing now...

Kindly don't generalize ne race/religion/caste..

By gtim• 12 years 3 months ago.
gtim

opps!!! don't generalize...

By somwerNdmiddle• 12 years 3 months ago.
somwerNdmiddle

really riaz_ak? how many have you bought?

www.live365.com/stations/thevault85

By riaz_ak• 12 years 3 months ago.
riaz_ak

why filipinas are so cheap.... almost in every case filipinas are involved..

By LAMBORJEEPNEY• 12 years 3 months ago.
LAMBORJEEPNEY

"katas ng qatar"

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

i always knew FACEBOOK in no good.....

it is a universal topic which everyone can relate..."Jealousy"

you shoudnt mention "philipina" or filipina for a start....you could use "asian girl"...

anyways talk to your husband how you really feel...

practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect... so why practice? duh?! ☺

By dieseldog2• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
dieseldog2

sorry but I never let my husband had a single female like friend!! and very sorry for you but work together, go to "partys" with out you that is not correct and drive her to pleces that in not correct in any nacionality take you position and do not let it grow up if not the single female will be you.

good luck

By aj_oragon• 12 years 3 months ago.
aj_oragon

search your innnermost feelings and you will know what to do.

you know your husband very well, im sure. and you will probably feel that something is wrong/off with him if he has another relationship.

By flor1212• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
flor1212

Think many times before you confront him. Do you think he will admit something (if everthere is really something)? Let your instinct be simply instinct and push yourself more to him. Who knows what happens next. As QS said, expect only two results, stay together harmoniously or ------!

>

>

>

wala lang

By qatarisun• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
qatarisun

shahzad_14...and i agree about it soo much..

I only FARMING on FB, getting updates on the events and outings, and sometimes read these silly "predictions" of these endless fortune tellers, just for fan.... nothing else..

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

By soniya• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
soniya

I think this thread is over and out now..Medan is content with what fellow QLers have replied for her post...

shahzad, u r absolutely correct that FB is main culprit..lolzz..infact i believe almost all social networking sites help in finding out the infedilities prevailing among couples..lol...Back to INDIA, one crime got solved thru ORKUT...So these social networking sites have advantages and disadvantages both..

By marie_2• 12 years 3 months ago.
marie_2

lol @ shahzad...

nah, they're not just good at hiding those pictures

...listen to the sound of silence....

By shahzad_14• 12 years 3 months ago.
shahzad_14

root cause of the problem "FACEBOOK"

"I know I am not PERFECT but I am ALWAYZ ME & that is something YOU can COUNT on FOREVER"

By marie_2• 12 years 3 months ago.
marie_2

You're not over reacting.

Communicate with your husband.

I don't trust pilots, they know how to fly a plane during typhoons

...listen to the sound of silence....

By medan• 12 years 3 months ago.
medan

Qatarisun, I love your opinion :)

Alsboy, I am Indonesian married to Pakistani not Indian :)

QL'ers forgive my poor english.

I was just trying to justify and find out whether my jealous is NORMAL or over react. So, I can act wisely.

Well, for me sharing in this forum might help other wifes who's facing the same problem as well but dont dare to put their thought in writing.

Nyways, whatever the respond, I do appreciate them :)

Thanks alot all.

By ReDbutterfly• 12 years 3 months ago.
ReDbutterfly

2 thumbs up fo qatarisun!

By deepb• 12 years 3 months ago.
deepb

If your still suspicious get one of these.

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/977600

By bala777• 12 years 3 months ago.
bala777

talk to him and clear your doubts and live peacefully

By qatarisun• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
qatarisun

it's not about whether he is having an affair or not. Let's assume (which is most likely) he is NOT having affair. Does it make you feel more comfortable with their 'friendly' outings till late night? I don't think so.

I understand, like in my case, my hub is younger than me, and we agreed that even though we do have our common friends and we do go out together, he will still have rights to go out with his friends only, as well as I have rights to go out with my friends only.

To be honest, it still bothers me, but at least I understand the nature of this issue, and accept it, knowing that he is faithful to me. By the way, I know all his friends who he is going out with (among them there are some pretty girls as well), sometimes they come over to our place, and some of them I have on FB as friends.

But another concern is that it might eventually lead to disunion and separation, when he is starting having his own circle without involving you in it.

Men like freedom, nothing can help... Not necessarily having affairs... They always feel that they are missing something in life... And it's up to you to act wise and carefully and do not push him away by your constant "talks", complaints and tears..

Some men just getting angry when they see their wives constantly crying and complaining..

But to be honest, in general it is not a good sign... not good at all...

Many suggest you to “sit” him, to “question” him, to “investigate” the case, and so on.. be very careful.. it only might push him away.. All these things like “ I am your wife! I have rights!” are good if you are ready to go all-in, and ready to lose him.. because you might hear in return something like: “Fine! So if you put question this way, you won’t be my wife anymore!”.. So again, be very delicate , chose your words and actions very carefully..

Uff, good luck on it!

*********************

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

By deepb• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
deepb

Alsboy she is an Indonesian National. The issue is universal not limited to Indians.

By pixiequeen• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
pixiequeen

you need to worry only if he is coming home late or ignoring his responsibilities and not caring for the family.

By Elegance• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Elegance

Please do not overgeneralise by saying "ONLY Indians" have problems like this!

This phenomenon has existed eversince mankind was created and will be there till the end of it too.Among animals too this exists.They settle the issue with fighting it out with their bodies.

Medan, only you can do an assessment of what is going on.Please dont make it public, until you have a lenghthy discussion with your husband. Because people mostly look for juicy stuff and have fun sharing it at your cost, rather than help you out......

God be with you.

By qatcoo• 12 years 3 months ago.
qatcoo

You should express your feelings, tell your husband that you are not comfortable with his friendship with this woman. and your husband should know that it is not right for a married man to be closed to the opposite.he should be considerate of your feelings.

Do not tell God how great is your problem.

Tell the problem how great is your God.

By alsboy• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
alsboy

The most important thing is to sit down and talk to each other about matters tht matter and that which doesnt and is a part of everyday life. If you still not getting the answer and trust that u need, take a trip back to India (I am assuming u r a india, cos ONLY indians have problems like dis.. dont worry, i too am one). Stay with your parents till things get sorted out. Not telling u 2 make a fight or argument with ur hubby right now, but give him a little space so tht he can understand wots goin on in his life. Hoping that you dont have a child out of this marriage, cos the poor kid will b suffering the most. Just calm down, think twice of wot u want to tell and speak wit ur hubby and do it soon.

By FlyingAce• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
FlyingAce

Just Talk To Your Husband. You Have The Right To Ask Him, After ALL You Are His Wife, Just Don't Mix Up What The People Are Saying,Simply Judge By Your Self

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

By pogi2ehh• 12 years 3 months ago.
pogi2ehh

what to do is for me to satisfy your man and care with him with love and kindness... i promised you he will ashamed to do something fishy.... always trust your husband

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Why do people ask this stuff in forums, just confront your husband with your feelings.

By gtim• 12 years 3 months ago.
gtim

yes. protect what belongs to you... though you trust your husband, as you said so temptation occurs.. then act accordingly, do what you think is right and save what is supposed to be saved...

By brave_heart• 12 years 3 months ago.
brave_heart

her question is this...

My question was whether other husband also that close with one female colleague? or whether I am over jealous?

There are husband who are very loyal,focused himself to his family. Others flirt with girls, others are more than close, others have an illicit affair...

You maybe jealous but never feel insecure.

By s_isale• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
s_isale

so what exactly is the problem that you were telling?

By Khawaga• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Khawaga

As a woman, I have this philosophy: it doesn't matter who my man flirts with as long as he brings home la pasion to me. If there is a change in this part of the relationship, you may have reason to worry. Then kick him to the curb!

By Allen R.• 12 years 3 months ago.
Allen R.

What god has put together let no man put asunder. Fight for your right and never give up!

By Allen R.• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
Allen R.

As a wife you have the right to know, on things like this you should directly confront your husband. Before it goes too far you have to tell him how you feel about the situation. Otherwise you will be miserable thinking on things without basis.

By medan• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
medan

QL'ers thanks so much for all the input. I am a very positive person and working mother of 2, my career even better than my husband, so I am very much settle and strong.

We are south east asian family where husband and wife are equal, we communicate well, I took care my husband needs proper, respect each other, do all the house works, my kids well cared, I believe I am a good wife and companion (and I took good care of myself also).

I dont think my husband having an affair since most of the time after work he would spend with me and the kids and he's such a caring person.

I do understand man has those "temptation". My question was whether other husband also that close with one female colleague? or whether I am over jealous?

I guess I am not :) I will just then speak my feelings and open my eyes widely, hey I need to protect what belong to me, right ?

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

"Resident Attention Seeker"

By Colt45• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
Colt45

I work in the airline and I know what you must be feeling. We're surrounded by young women from all ends of the world and it's easy for us to get tempted.

Like the folks on here have said, sit him down and tell him about your feelings with the way he's acting. If there is no change, then try and get involved in his social life too.

If he doesn't allow you to mingle with him and his social life, then you pick up one your self and have fun. By that I don't mean live in sin, but get out to the QL social meets and have fun.

Pay him back with his own coin ;-)

By smallville_yani• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
smallville_yani

..talk directly to your husband and if got more courage then talk to the girl itself... you have to protect your territory and family...

By greentea• 12 years 3 months ago.
greentea

towards this friendship... as they said, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure... as a wife you have the right to speak yourself out...

By gtim• 12 years 3 months ago.
gtim

... and what's the point of calling your husband "Dad"? because he is her "sugar daddy"?... hmmp...

By Harmagedōn• 12 years 3 months ago.
Harmagedōn

Bad idea asking for advice on QL.

Your husband is screwing around. Period.

Men are dogs, especially the flying breed.

By t_coffee_or_me• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
t_coffee_or_me

best option for you is to get involved and go with him for social outing and not sit at home alone

 

 

 

[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By logicsays• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
logicsays

the relation is by checking if there are changes in your love life and intimate relation with your husband .. this is your thermometer

"The best way to predict the future is to create it".

By toxic8• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
toxic8

to every story. But from what you have written it is clear that your husband needs to reprioritise. YOU are his priority. And your expectation to be treated as a priority is absolutely correct. Instead of taking her out for parties, he should be taking you, and if you are uncomfortable with the friendship he has then he should stop.

Try to email him. If you email him and tell him how you feel, then he has no option but to read and understand. If you confront him i guarentee he will become argumentative and defensive.

Express your feelings to him as eloquently as you have above. If he truly loves you then he will respond positively.

I wish you luck and really hope that he sees the light and puts you back in to his life as a priority.

By sammiee• 12 years 3 months ago.
sammiee

Dont get too annoyed try to be coool...Try to tel yor husband abot the way u feel....hopefully he will come back to you... if he does"t hmm........do lot of prayer...:-) coz god knows wat to do...

By mjamille28• 12 years 3 months ago.
mjamille28

the further you read on here, im sure you'll get mixed emotions and different POVs so talk to your husband again and don't let anything cloud your judgment..

By Cookie Monster• 12 years 3 months ago.
Cookie Monster

Although I think you do have cause for concern, It might be His head may of just been turned alittle , but it does not mean he's having an affair.

As said above sit him down explain how he's making you feel....And if that doesn't work hire a hit man lol

By gtim• 12 years 3 months ago.
gtim

you already talked your husband that your not comfortable with his friendship with the girl. so what's his answer? of course, denial to the max... don't just sitdown there and wait. something fishy is happening... investigate discreetly, and please... don't be naive... wife's intuition don't get wrong.

By deepb• 12 years 3 months ago.
deepb

If your uncomfortable, talk to your husband about it. I don't see any signs here to suggest he's having an affair though. I drop my friends to the Airport if they don't have other means of transport occasionally. Maybe the party was just some office thing. Him paying for another girls farewell party? hmmm that one I dunno - was she working under him?

My point is - it's easy to feel suspicious, but no reason to jump to conclusions. And in the end, you should know your husband better than anyone here and should be able to decide for yourself.

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

We will only be able to give the best advise if you send us the facebook link.

By gildine23• 12 years 3 months ago.
gildine23

I feel sad and ashamed of you because the girl involved here is my fellow filipina.But, i guess before we judge her please have a dialog first with your husband.Open up with him and tell everything u feel about their actions.Then, give him also a chance to explain.If his explanations/reasons doesn't satisfiy you.Then,make your moves,investigate them to satisfy your curiosity.

By owen• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
owen

you are the wife, tell your husband how you feel exactly.. we cannot help you here, your issues are between you and your husband.. so communicate with him seriously before this situation becomes out of hand...

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

By smoke• 12 years 3 months ago.
smoke

He's having an affair..men are dogs...trust your instincts they are always right...so on and so forth is the advice you'll get from here. I'm just saving you the trouble of reading it all :)

Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)

_[]~«ŠѪΘҜΞ»~[]_

 

By mjamille28• 12 years 3 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
mjamille28

best thing to do is talk to your husband.. tell him everything as you did here, to let him know how you truly feel, and then you two work it out from there.. communication is the key..

By anonymous• 12 years 3 months ago.
anonymous

Your husband is with clear immoral traffic way;

By Black Magic111• 12 years 3 months ago.
Black Magic111

Wat the hel...she calls your husband DAD and at the same time parties with him late night....

looks like something is wrong there...???

By Olive• 12 years 3 months ago.
Olive

Talk to your husband and tell him how uncomfortable you feel. Personally I think you have a right to feel uncomfortable, I know I would.

literal people are scary, man, literal people scare me

out there trying to rid the world of its poetry while getting it wrong fundamentally down at the church of "look,it sez right here, see!" Ani Difranco

By Anteca• 12 years 3 months ago.
Anteca

dont take any advice,,,just go and talk with your husband,,,express him your feelings,,,let him clear but dear,,talk with him very politely,,,with love...listen what he said....i am sure that you will feel ok...

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