Farting and acting like it was someone else!
There are numerous ways to cover this up:
One is the famous (but plausible) it was my shoe trick.
(Don't use the shoe trick unless it's believable. You can use it sitting down with bulky, squeaky or new shoes/sneakers, but not if standing up or with old, unsqueaky shoes.)
Another way is to look at someone else in disgust, this might turn the suspicions over to the other person.
Remain calm. You just farted and you're freaked, try not to be.
If someone notices (smells or hears) just don't say anything. If they see you acting calm, they won't suspect it's you.
Try saying that you were either sprayed by a skunk, dog doo on your foot, etc.
# To avoid farting in public, try sitting with your foot tucked close to your butt.
# If you can absolutely not hold it, DO NOT fart in the bathroom (if part of building) . This will most likely echoe and embarrass you more than ever. Instead, go outside and or use another excuse to leave.
#If all else fails, just say sorry, it happens to everyone.... And come clean :)
dont fart,,,let the bad air comes out from your mouth....
1)drink a bottle of perfume instead of whiskey.
2)Eat deo sticks instead of chocolates and candies.
3)Smoke arabian oud instead of normal sheesha.
Don't do any of the above. Plug your a_hole with a bottle. When the bottle fills up, you can sell it to Ras gas.
"try to cover your farts by burping louder in the same time lol..
almost as filthy as double dosing"
She opened to check out the badness of the smell! Curious Lady eh?
FS why did you open this thread??
You also needed some advice na, bolo bolo, tell tell :P
Gosh you guys not done with this smelly thread??? grrr
WK, Did you use a condom? I heard they test these anal deo's on asses arse as a QA/QC measure!
Drac I bought a new deodorant, that works the best man. It said push up bottom on the label, I pushed it up and though I have some problems walking now, the farts smell amazingly good :o)
...this was WK's agreement: "Il give you a free ticket to Beyonce Concert if you'll train me for Farts & Farting"
that makes you an expert then... :P
MJ I am getting training from Dracula :(
LOL WK and I suppose you're an expert on this subject too.. :P
what a smelly thread...
Just giving good advice to people :P
WK u r u after my Soul ? :(
why why , bolo bolo ?
Just hang out with Rizks, everyone will always suspect him :(
Man,u didn't get ne other topic to discuss here..lol
ewww gross!! :P
geez,flan! I was waiting for something "special" from you!
Now it comes :)
just make sure your fart doesn't have a lump in it.
mercury, not quite.
Al Qaeda...they drop it(bomb/fart) and proudly proclaim it was theirs...lengthy video, raised voices, rethoric , with raised index finger prominently on display. They reason it is because the West made them import bad food, which caused flatulence. They threaten that if the West does not give them the best halal food found on the planet for free, they will stink up all Western countries.
Guys just have a loud sneeze or cough, best thing always.
Just try tearing a paper when you are about to release....remember timing plays an important role here.
Always look left and right.
geez..britex; how do you know my story?
@gica contra: good advice,mate! :)
You can always blame the leather couch...That's my technique...Always find the clinics with leather couches...
Dracula went to the doctor and said to him, "i keep doing all these really big farts but they are silent and don't smell. in fact i've done three since i got here but you probaly didn't even notice."
The doctor prescribed him some pills and told him to come back in a week when he had finished them.
A week later Dracula flew back and complained to the doctor that his farts, though still silent, smelled terrible.
"Good," said the doctor. "now that we've got your sinuses cleared up, let's work on your hearing."
drmana, just flash them an innocent smile and point to whoever's next to you... :P
wow, quite practical tips. But what to do when its the other way round. Happened a lot when out with my baby..he farts and people look at us suspecting :-))
this is a very stinky thread.. better hit the sack, it's hard to breathe here.. :P
There is also the Israeli way..
Drop a really bad fart and then say that it was in self defence because everyone around you is your enemy. You could further state that the Iranians are secretly developing a much more lethal fart. Just to help you, you could get the state department to issue a strong statement supporting you and blaming the others for being in the room.
There are only two ways,as i see it..:
1. Al-qaeda technique: wherein you drop the bomb(fart),and tell the people around it is not you.Completely disclaim responsibility.
2. American Technique: Drop it( should be pretty smelly one),and take responsiblity and tell,sorry to all who it caused, individually.
Bad dog, bad dog!
Best thing is to either travel with a dog or child.. Then you can blame one of them...
you sound like an expert on the subject... :P
No one farting here? :P