Farting and acting like it was someone else!

Dracula
By Dracula

There are numerous ways to cover this up:
One is the famous (but plausible) it was my shoe trick.

(Don't use the shoe trick unless it's believable. You can use it sitting down with bulky, squeaky or new shoes/sneakers, but not if standing up or with old, unsqueaky shoes.)

Another way is to look at someone else in disgust, this might turn the suspicions over to the other person.

Remain calm. You just farted and you're freaked, try not to be.
If someone notices (smells or hears) just don't say anything. If they see you acting calm, they won't suspect it's you.
Try saying that you were either sprayed by a skunk, dog doo on your foot, etc.
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# To avoid farting in public, try sitting with your foot tucked close to your butt.
# If you can absolutely not hold it, DO NOT fart in the bathroom (if part of building) . This will most likely echoe and embarrass you more than ever. Instead, go outside and or use another excuse to leave.

#If all else fails, just say sorry, it happens to everyone.... And come clean :)

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By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

dont fart,,,let the bad air comes out from your mouth....

By edifis• 11 years 6 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
edifis

1)drink a bottle of perfume instead of whiskey.

2)Eat deo sticks instead of chocolates and candies.

3)Smoke arabian oud instead of normal sheesha.

Alternative-1

Don't do any of the above. Plug your a_hole with a bottle. When the bottle fills up, you can sell it to Ras gas.

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

quagmire1 said:

"try to cover your farts by burping louder in the same time lol..

almost as filthy as double dosing"

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/1092489#comment-1448246

By edifis• 11 years 6 months ago.
edifis

She opened to check out the badness of the smell! Curious Lady eh?

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

FS why did you open this thread??

You also needed some advice na, bolo bolo, tell tell :P

By Formatted Soul• 11 years 6 months ago.
Formatted Soul

Gosh you guys not done with this smelly thread??? grrr

By edifis• 11 years 6 months ago.
edifis

WK, Did you use a condom? I heard they test these anal deo's on asses arse as a QA/QC measure!

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

geez..muhahahahaha

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

Drac I bought a new deodorant, that works the best man. It said push up bottom on the label, I pushed it up and though I have some problems walking now, the farts smell amazingly good :o)

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

...this was WK's agreement: "Il give you a free ticket to Beyonce Concert if you'll train me for Farts & Farting"

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

that makes you an expert then... :P

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

MJ I am getting training from Dracula :(

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

LOL WK and I suppose you're an expert on this subject too.. :P

By Formatted Soul• 11 years 6 months ago.
Formatted Soul

what a smelly thread...

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

Just giving good advice to people :P

By Rizks• 11 years 6 months ago.
Rizks

WK u r u after my Soul ? :(

why why , bolo bolo ?

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

Just hang out with Rizks, everyone will always suspect him :(

By soniya• 11 years 6 months ago.
soniya

Man,u didn't get ne other topic to discuss here..lol

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

ewww gross!! :P

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

geez,flan! I was waiting for something "special" from you!

Now it comes :)

By flanostu• 11 years 6 months ago.
flanostu

just make sure your fart doesn't have a lump in it.

By nomerci• 11 years 6 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
nomerci

mercury, not quite.

Al Qaeda...they drop it(bomb/fart) and proudly proclaim it was theirs...lengthy video, raised voices, rethoric , with raised index finger prominently on display. They reason it is because the West made them import bad food, which caused flatulence. They threaten that if the West does not give them the best halal food found on the planet for free, they will stink up all Western countries.

By SameerBadruddin• 11 years 6 months ago.
SameerBadruddin

Guys just have a loud sneeze or cough, best thing always.

By shreeya• 11 years 6 months ago.
shreeya

Just try tearing a paper when you are about to release....remember timing plays an important role here.

By Ryan_Estrada• 11 years 6 months ago.
Ryan_Estrada

Always look left and right.

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

geez..britex; how do you know my story?

@gica contra: good advice,mate! :)

By anonymous• 11 years 6 months ago.
anonymous

You can always blame the leather couch...That's my technique...Always find the clinics with leather couches...

By britexpat• 11 years 6 months ago.
britexpat

Dracula went to the doctor and said to him, "i keep doing all these really big farts but they are silent and don't smell. in fact i've done three since i got here but you probaly didn't even notice."

The doctor prescribed him some pills and told him to come back in a week when he had finished them.

A week later Dracula flew back and complained to the doctor that his farts, though still silent, smelled terrible.

"Good," said the doctor. "now that we've got your sinuses cleared up, let's work on your hearing."

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

drmana, just flash them an innocent smile and point to whoever's next to you... :P

By drmana• 11 years 6 months ago.
drmana

wow, quite practical tips. But what to do when its the other way round. Happened a lot when out with my baby..he farts and people look at us suspecting :-))

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

this is a very stinky thread.. better hit the sack, it's hard to breathe here.. :P

By sonaam• 11 years 6 months ago.
sonaam

Becareful when you fart ;)

By britexpat• 11 years 6 months ago.
britexpat

There is also the Israeli way..

Drop a really bad fart and then say that it was in self defence because everyone around you is your enemy. You could further state that the Iranians are secretly developing a much more lethal fart. Just to help you, you could get the state department to issue a strong statement supporting you and blaming the others for being in the room.

By mercury_fin• 11 years 6 months ago.
mercury_fin

There are only two ways,as i see it..:

1. Al-qaeda technique: wherein you drop the bomb(fart),and tell the people around it is not you.Completely disclaim responsibility.

2. American Technique: Drop it( should be pretty smelly one),and take responsiblity and tell,sorry to all who it caused, individually.

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

Bad dog, bad dog!

Pfhuuiiii...

By britexpat• 11 years 6 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
britexpat

Best thing is to either travel with a dog or child.. Then you can blame one of them...

By mjamille28• 11 years 6 months ago.
mjamille28

you sound like an expert on the subject... :P

By Dracula• 11 years 6 months ago.
Dracula

No one farting here? :P

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