Convince My Teenage Daughter to Come to Qatar

JBH
By JBH

How am I going to do this?

I don't want to make my teenage daughter come with us to Qatar while she is not happy about it.

She hasn't said much yet but I think it is all a bit daunting to her leaving all the familiar things, friends, family, friends etc.

She wants to stay on for A levels and then become a police officer if we were staying in the UK.

I know she can carry on her studies in Qatar but what about the career oportunities?

Please share your observations and experiences.

 

Cheers

By JBH• 14 years 10 months ago.
JBH

Nothing has happend, as yet.

Originally I was supposed to come out in June 07.

Then that got put back to Sept. 07.

Then Dec. 07.

So it will be next year now.

We still haven't finalised anything with my daughter.

We are still on plan "A".

I come uot alone then bring the whole family out for a months holiday.

Then see whet happens.

Mrs doesn't want to be away from me, or our daughter.

Also we want her to see a bit of the world, meet people from different places, and most importantly get her away from Birkenhead.

I will keep you posted.

Thanks.

Call me Maninibat!

By Sinned• 14 years 10 months ago.
Sinned

My Mom ask me to live and work here in Qatar, i tell them No !!!!

do you know why? i was thingking before that middle east is a boring country ,i was so wrong...then suddenly...My Mom have a first step , "Visit Visa" ....yah....she took me a visit visa in Qatar, they show me how qatar is beautiful....again..i have a plan to go back in qatar next year.....next vacation.Yahooooo!!!!!!

JBH.....try it.

good nyt...

smile,

By jauntie• 14 years 10 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
jauntie

I came upon this thread by chance just now (reading back over the forums - I know, it's sad isn't it).

What an interesting topic!

I wondered what the outcome was ...

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Gypsy

Actually Shroudeye I'm under 35 and single and I do like it here a lot, but I lived in other parts of Asia before this, and it was my own choice.

But like mojo I moved a lot as a kid and teenager (admittdely only in Canada) and I found it hard. Living here as a teenager would be difficult because a 16 year old would have very different priorites then I do at 26.

By GothicMaiden• 15 years 2 months ago.
GothicMaiden

So, shroudedeye, you will be leaving soon? As you dislike Qatar so much? You're probably right: this is no place for the likes of you. I'm sorry, but you show a lack of imagination if you have to meet the same people in the same places all the time. Maybe with age will come wisdom ... One can but hope. There is time yet as you are still so young.

By shroudedeye• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
shroudedeye

As i sat and read through all the opinions and thoughts posted i realised that older members in here are for staying in qatar while the younger ones are not.

no teenager or any person below 35 or a single man/woman would in their right minds stay in qatar. theres simply no reason to. you work all day and get home, meet the same people, go to the same places and never try out anything new. isnt that just a waste of time? you work for your money but dont have anything to enjoy it on. the only time you can use it is when you head back home for the holidays.

qatar is the ideal place for families but otherwise the place is deadsville.

By Serendipity• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Serendipity

"to answer the criticism"

Hey honey, don't take it too personally, it wasn't a personal criticism, I was just offering a contrary opinion to yours.

There was absolutely no intention to criticise you, honestly.

You and your sister have personal experience of being an expat kid that means you believe it's not a good idea. Fair enough, that's your experience and your opinion.

On the contrary, I've travelled a lot as an adult, and I feel it's a wonderful opportunity and one I wish I had had as a child. Also, through my wanderings, I have encountered other friends with children, and their children have had a good time as expats, although admittedly they weren't 16 when they set out on their first adventure.

I'm not criticising you or your opinion, just offering a contrasting one.

No hard feelings, hey?

Serendipity

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
JBH

I really won't force her to come and chain her to the wall.

She is looking at this forum now, she asked me address again last night;

Hello Babe

As I said, if all goes well Mrs JBH and the kids will be coning for a visit during the summer, hopefully for a month so they will be able to make informed decisions for themselves.

Maybe some of you can take us to one of the recommended eating houses.

Mrs JBH reads this also and agrees with me that some of the most negative experiences and the positives, can depend upon the individuals circumstances.

We will encourage her to take the plunge and find out.

The money will be there if there is a need to bail out and there will be plenty of support at home also.

I will keep you posted.

Many thanks to one and all.

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Gypsy

Completely agree with Mojo. Teenagers forced to move here are miserable and hard to deal with. It's one thing to take a kid here when they are younger and allow them to grow up here, it's another to relocate a teenager. Your daughter will HATE it here and in the end hate you for bringing her.

By mojonojo• 15 years 2 months ago.
mojonojo

to answer the criticism leveled at me i have one response, my sister who was at the age in question when we moved to australia hasnt spoken to my parents for 6 years, precicley because she was forced to leave her friends, her social life that she had built for 4 years in london a social life she never had as a kid, she spent a very miserable time in WA, and has spent time in therapy coming to terms with it, a place that is a damn sight better equiped for tenage life than doha, i fear the same or worse may occur. of the people i met and know who were expat kids had serious social issues even now in to their mid 20s -- i worked out ok but many of the others have serious drug problems and did then too, using drugs to escape from the reality that their parents put them in.

sure traveling gives you a great 'perspective' on the world, only when you choose to travel, if you dont want to go all you will end up doing is resenting the people who made you do it.

education and 'life' may be better and easier out here for parents, but socialy its dead here, there are No gigs, no bands, no 'youth culture'. this place is sterile esp. for teanagers

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
JBH

Thanks a lot.

By habeebah86• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
habeebah86

Let your daughter come here for her A-levels and go back to the UK for post-secondary. She shouldn't be scared of not making friends here because she definitely will. My younger ones are in Qatar Academy, they were really scared of moving to Qatar with my parents, but they are very okay now. My sister who is 18 was afraid of not fitting in, she did IGCSE's in Cambridge school and went on to Qatar Academy for IB. Lot of expatriate kids in the schools, and they do have a social life. She can attend the British school in Doha, for higher education, I will suggest going back to the UK for that, that's much better especially for social and life experiences. Most students in education city secondary go abroad for their higher education,and by the way why miss UK education when you can get it.

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
JBH

I will pass on your e-mail and I am pretty sure she will contact you.

I won't push her just yet as she is studying for her mock exams for the next few weeks so I don't want her worrying about too many things.

Do you have MSM in Qatar?

She is on it all the time.

How old were you when you came out?

By mariathomas_03• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
mariathomas_03

hey im 16 year old girl...studying at the American skool of Doha...yea i think ur daughter wud need sum convincing to come here...but its nt as bad as it seems...just as long as u meet the right group of ppl..living out here can actually be fun contrary to popular belief......so y dnt u ask her to email me...mthomas101@gmail.com

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
JBH

It makes me a bit fuzzy then I want to go the toilet.

Where's the fun in that?

I've a mental image now of Gypsies class full of kids putting their hands up every five minutes and bumping into the door on the way out.

Sorry, got a bit off the subject there for a minute.

By Don Corleone• 15 years 2 months ago.
Don Corleone

Ok gypsy, best way to prove it is to bring some and pass it on to all the people in this forum, this way wel will all beleive you:)

I always tell the truth, even when I lie

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Gypsy

No Hamada, it's very easy to get it. Believe me.

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
JBH

Thanks Charmed.

I think we are on similar wavelengths.

I will pass on the offer but not just yet as she is taking her mock exams at the moment so has enough on her plate.

Now back to work......

Cheers,

By butterfly• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
butterfly

Don't try to hard to persuade her. Let her come and see, if she wants to stay, great. If however, she wants to return to UK and follow her dreams of becoming a police or whatever, let her, its her right...she is already mature enough to know what she wants, even if her decisions are bound to change in the future or the very fact that she is most likely to make many mistakes.

By all means try to keep her with you, but it is unfair if she has to give up her future or career choices for the sake of it.

By hamadaCZ• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
hamadaCZ

I moved to doha at the age of 13,then left it again at the age of 17,I've been to different countries in different continents,I find this country very safe and the cleanest when it comes to drugs.

some of my classmates were smoking(Marlboro Red),but to get a joint or similar stuff,it's very difficult here.

there are drug abusers here,just like anywhere else.however the percentage is very low here!

By charmed• 15 years 2 months ago.
charmed

head screwed on the right way for sure!! You must have brought her up right!!! i always say WHAT IF in life, if i have to make a decision say when my husband said about moving out here i thought well i know what wil happen if i dont move out here, but i didnt know what would happen if i moved out here - then i would have spent the rest of my life thiking " what if i had!" does that make sense! if she truly hates it she can move back to the UK - there are always ways and means!

if you want i can give you my email address for her if she wants to ask me some questions!!!

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
JBH

If I have got one thing right as a parent it was to discourage the smoking.

The deal I have made with both of my kids is if they don't become smokers they get a car when they are 18.

I know daughter has tried it because she was spotted by a friend of ours, it was almost inevitable she would try it but she is anti smoking.

Although we will be vigialent I don't see it as a problem, or the drugs.

She is a very capable and confident lady with a strong sense of what is right and wrong, I'm not bulling her up she really is.

It is always her who deals with whatever crisis her friends are having, hence the police choice I suppose.

Inspite of all the negatives, which I genuinely appreciate by the way, the comment about having someone to clean her room will probably win her over.

You should see it, it is a disgrace!

I do think the experience is vital and I would be doing her an injustice if I didn't bring her.

Most of you can look at a globe and point out the places you have been and what those places are like.

Not many people can do that. I'm 42 and I have only had 5 holidays abroad.

Getting away from the Chav culture is a major factor also.

Plus if she learns to drive in Doha, Birkenhead should be a breeze when she comes back!

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Gypsy

The boys I taught smoked BEFORE school.

By charmed• 15 years 2 months ago.
charmed

I cant believe it! They smoke it after school - dont they finish like 12.30 ?? Thats so bad and so early in the day! Wow thank you for that i mean i know i once found washed up bags of herorin at a beach once but i didnt realise the drug culture was so big out here and i can normally spot someone on dugs too! how shocking im going to be watching now the kids! Thanks!

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
Gypsy

Seriously charmed Gulf Arabs are some of the biggest drug users I've met.

However, JBH's daughter is a girl, so even though the pressure to do drugs and smoke may not be as much she will go crazy from both the lack of involvement with and too much attention from boys. It will completely screw up her ability to socialize with the opposite sex.

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Gypsy

I worked in a school here and I lived with my 16 year old brother here, believe me it's here.

In the case of hash it is rolled up into a cigarette and the kids smoke it at school. Most schools let the kids just go slightly off the property to smoke so no big deal right.

As for kids drinking, they just take it from their parents like back home and have parties at peoples houses.

The pressure to smoke cigarettes here is unbelivable as well.

By charmed• 15 years 2 months ago.
charmed

are you for real ? I mean serious? there is a culture of that out here for teenagers? where , how do they get hold of it? how have i not spotted it? Gosh i am honestly shocked at this! Can you let me know a bit more!! i know im naieve, but i have been out here two years nealry and i have never seen this out here!

By anonymous• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

Life is easy in Middle East, no serious crimes! I have been in Middle East for almost 12 years and surprisingly enough I feel safer here than my own country.

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Gypsy

"Theres no chav culture out here, no groups of drunken teenagers shouting about, very little peer pressure to fit in."

Sorry Charmed but I have to disagree, peer pressure and abuse of alcohol, especially drugs like marijuana and hash is just as bad if not worse here.

By charmed• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
charmed

tell her the weathers great so she will get an amazing tan, she will have access and possibly her own pool and she can have pool parties, theres heaps of clothes shops out here and make up shops all under one roof, so she can spend all day shopping with her daddys money ( lol!). tell her everyone has cleaners out here so she wont have to clean her own room and help out around the house, no one washes there own car, no one does there own ironing so no chores at home!!! theres no chav culture out here, no groups of drunken teenagers shouting about, very little peer pressure to fit in. This is a good life out here once she has made friends at college - tell her seychelles is a short flight away and thailand for those nice beach holidays!

im trying to think of all the things which i liked at that age which wil make her want to come!!!

By Gypsy• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
Gypsy

My 16 year old brother just went home to live with family in Canada. He lasted roughly a year but there was nothing for him to do. This place is hard on Western kids what with the lack of entertainment and segregation in schools, not to metion there Qatari classmates flashing their money and cars around. ]

Let her stay home.

By Serendipity• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
Serendipity

But mojonojo, if you were an expat kid, and it sounds as though you travelled around a fair bit, it means that you had quite a few experiences of living in different places.

By way of contrast, it sounds as though JBH's daughter hasn't previously had this kind of experience, it would be her first, and basically only, opportunity.

I reckon it's a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and she should go for it.

If the situation were the reverse, mojonojo, if you hadn't had all your childhood experiences in those various places, and knowing how you've grown and developed as a person and had so many interesting experiences, if you were offered your *first* overseas experience, would you still say 'no'?

If she's just finishing GCSEs and wanting to do A'Levels, which she'd be able to do in Doha, it's likely that she'd then return to UK in any event to go to university or whatever, or to do training and join a police force, so we're talking about a couple of years, in the first instance at least.

If it doesn't suit her or she doesn't like it in the short-term, there's light at the end of the tunnel, it's not a permanent move for her. I think, though, that she has far more to gain from the experience than to lose.

Also, in my personal experience, the things that I've tended to regret in life aren't the things that I *have done*, but the things that I *haven't done*. If you do something, and you don't like it or it goes wrong, well, you learn from that experience, you gain valuable knowledge and strength, you move on. If you don't do something, well, in later years, you can be left with a slightly unfulfilled sense of "If only..."

By anonymous• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

Sometimes people need an advice for the sake of keeping their children with them, don't discourage her going with her parents. As a matter of fact lots of expat have their children with them working in abroad like us! we tried to do everything to keep our kids busy, like dropping them to see their friends and spend time with their friends or have their friends over and other possible activities that can keep our kids busy so they don't feel the boredom at all. We all think of what can make our family happy, and to be happy for us is to have our family with us. It's very sad and difficult if you're working away from your family, which happens to many people but if you were given an opportunity to be with them, wherever you are planning to work, why not take the family? At least you're always together with your family.

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
JBH

I won't let her read that bit.

By mojonojo• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
mojonojo

let her stay in england

i was an expat kid from the jungles of west africa to the desert of west australia, i enjoyed every min of it, however i would never bring a teanager to qatar, she will kill you

By SAGE778• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
SAGE778

I wouldn't send her to Qatar. Not a chance

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
JBH

To answer a few questions;

Daughter is 16.

She hasn't taken her GCSEs yet, they are in the summer, but she is taking her mock exams from this week on.

The plan is for me to move out about the begining of June, with Mrs.JBH and daughter 16 and boy 9 coming for a long visit during the summer holidays.

Then hopefully a full move over next year.

I don't know how long the job will be for as the company is just kicking off properly, but it could / should be a long run.

The points about living a bit more before joining the police are the same as mine and I hope the move will persuade her to hang on for a while.

Has anyone made the move with a daughter of a similar age?

I would love to hear your experiences.

Cheers

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
JBH

To answer a few questions;

Daughter is 16.

She hasn't taken her GCSEs yet, they are in the summer, but she is taking her mock exams from this week on.

The plan is for me to move out about the begining of June, with Mrs.JBH and daughter 16 and boy 9 coming for a long visit during the summer holidays.

Then hopefully a full move over next year.

I don't know how long the job will be for as the company is just kicking off properly, but it could / should be a long run.

The points about living a bit more before joining the police are the same as mine and I hope the move will persuade her to hang on for a while.

Has anyone made the move with a daughter of a similar age?

I would love to hear your experiences.

Cheers

By hamadaCZ• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
hamadaCZ

I've heard there is a plan to open a British University at QF,so my suggestion would be,bring her over on a visit(when the weather is really nice),explore with her the country,get her a nice wheels and then maybe she would agree to move over ;)

By Hussamf• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Hussamf

just make it sound exciting man:)

Arabian princes, arabian desert, Horses, Arabian Knights...loooool

common, if u cant use that to seduce the little lady, wt can u use:)

good luck with the move man..

cheers

http://hasous.spaces.live.com

"missiles, warships and nuclear weapons cannot establish security. Instead they destroy what peace and security build." Anwar Sadat

By Serendipity• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
Serendipity

Joining the police:

It might be possible for your daughter to join the police after passing her A'Levels. However, the recruitment process is likely to be quite competitive. At this time in her life, what does she have to offer, other than an enthusiasm for the role?

They would likely look more favourably on an application in a few years' time, when she has some life experience to offer. Moving to a different country and meeting a wide range of people, making new friends, dealing with some difficult situations, encountering and resolving problems, proving herself to be resourceful and problem-solving in a new environment and so on.

She will gain so much more life experience and acquire so many useful skills by spending some time in a different country.

Maybe she could contact the recruitment office for the force she's interested in joining and ask them their opinion? I'm guessing they would look favourably on a young candidate who could demonstrate their maturity by dealing with this situation in an adult fashion and resolving to make the most of such a fantastic opportunity.

Education generally and her friends:

Does the school she is attending have a sixth form? Or will she have to go to a different college if she stays in UK? At that age, after GCSEs, all her friends will be taking different paths, some might leave school, some will also go on to college, but they will likely be doing different courses and make new friends and the group dynamics will change.

It's difficult because she probably has a close-knit group of friends, and she isn't yet aware how things change. Over the next few years, the friends that she has now will likely start to drift apart. They will all make new friends at college, after college, they will go to university in different cities and make new friends, and they will make new friends in their new jobs. That doesn't mean 'ditching' old friends, just that it's possible to make lots of new ones.

If she's kind of yearning for things to remain the same, if she stays there, she'll have a bit of a come-down, as she tries to hold on to the situation as it is now, hold on to her routines and groups of friends exactly as they are now. But all her friends will also be moving on to exciting new things too; things won't stay the same for her or her group of friends.

It's just that she has such an amazing opportunity to move on to do something even more exciting and interesting.

Living in Qatar:

And if the above reasonable points fail to persuade, you could always point out that her friends can always come and visit and lounge by her pool!

Even if she doesn't want to go, then her friends will do the persuading for you! ;)

By charmed• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
charmed

i cant imagine anything harder than trying to convience a teenage girl to come out here. You havent said how old she in and where abouts she is in her studies - has she finished her gcses yet? I can imagine what she and you guys are going through. How long are you planning on being in qatar for? You can do the police training up untill i think 30 years old - so there is no rush for her to get on the course. She could easlily do the a-levels out here i think doha college do them , or a btec or diploma and then have a year out getting life experience, monies put away, travelling and then go back to the uk to do the police training once shes a bit older and wiser she could go back by herself and do it! I mean when i was 16 what i wanted to do in life and actually did are two different things and i bet they are for most people!

By chancetlu• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
chancetlu

There are 5 American Universities here in Qatar with specialties including engineering, foreign studies, and even a medical school jsut to name a few. If she plans on continuing education...the ones in education city are great institutions. I would suggest you check it out.

By azilana7037• 15 years 2 months ago.
azilana7037

www.qf.org.qa

have her check out this website (or goggle search "education city qatar". It will inform her about the colleges and universities here in Qatar and what she could look forward to.

Hope this helps even a tiny bit..

By JBH• 15 years 2 months ago.
JBH

I will pass that on to her.

Thank you very much

By Dragon6• 15 years 2 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
Dragon6

It depends on her interests and the career path that she wants to follow!

If she is into physical education, sports, etc... She can have a very good career at Aspire academy or PE teaching in schools.

Many opportunities are available.

If you want, let her email me on off_roader_66@hotmail.com with her interests and so on and we can discuss matters further.

p.s.: I have worked as a school counselor and PE teacher for a few years!

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