Funnies

By Angelo

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. ( Italy )

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North.. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )

A: No, we don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )

A: Yes, gay nightclubs

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare them off.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Please send this on to any Canadian (or other) who can use a good giggle

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By Angelo• 11 years 10 months ago.
Angelo

Pretty good, and yourselves,

Thanks for asking.

By jassKat• 11 years 10 months ago.
jassKat

Can't wait!!

tra la la

By anonymous• 11 years 10 months ago.
anonymous

I could imagine Darude trolling the streets of vancouver with his Donkey..Specially in Ice covered streets.

Will they allow Donkeys and their Riders (Darude) slide down those slopes?

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

By anonymous• 11 years 10 months ago.
anonymous

I ponder If Darude is a canadian Donkey or a british jackass!

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds..

By Colt45• 11 years 10 months ago.
Colt45

And i will wait at the bottom with my cam getting pics of you for QL...:-D

By jassKat• 11 years 10 months ago.
jassKat

I'll be the one zooming down the mountain in a blur!! See you there!

tra la la

By Colt45• 11 years 10 months ago.
Colt45

I may join you in 2010... who knows i may move to Canada soon?

Will meet up with you and Gypsy there...;-D

By jassKat• 11 years 10 months ago.
jassKat

LOL, that was pretty funny. I am so excited for these Olympics, as they are about 4 hours from my home town and I get to be a part of it!

Wonder if I'll be the only one from Qatar- let alone the ME representing!! Ski Fast!!

tra la la

By han19• 11 years 10 months ago.
han19

how you doing buddy?

happy heart

DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home

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