Ten top reasons for being Qatari?

butterfly
By butterfly

Hey, that´s only an old joke I found on the net, I hope nobody gets upset with the below. 

I´m hoping you help me to find ten top reasons for being a Qatari (something funny and light-hearted) .... any suggestions?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:

  1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
  2. Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
  3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frogs legs
  4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
  5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night foreign films on Channel 4
  6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
  7. You can be ugly and still be a famous film star
  8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
  9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the streets
  10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

  1. You can have a woman president without electing her
  2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
  3. You can call Budweiser beer
  4. You can be a crook and still be a president
  5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
  6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
  7. You get to be really obese
  8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes and nobody cares
  9. You get to call everyone you've never met 'buddy'
  10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth
    10a. When you're not
    10b. At all

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

  1. Two world wars and one world cup, doo-dah doo-dah
  2. Proper beer
  3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
  4. You get to accept defeat gracioulsy in major sporting events
  5. Union Jack underpants
  6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
  7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
  8. Bathing once a week - whether you need it or not
  9. Ditto changing underwear
  10. Beats being Welsh
    10a. Or Scottish

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:

  1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
  2. Unembarrassed to wear fur
  3. No need to worry about tax returns
  4. Glorious military history prior to 400 AD
  5. Can wear sunglasses inside
  6. Political instability
  7. Flexible working hours
  8. Live near the Pope
  9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
  10. Country run by Sicilian murderers

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH

  1. Glorious history of killing South Amercian tribes
  2. The rest of Europe think Africa begins in the Pyrenees
  3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
  4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
  5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
  6. Honesty
  7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
  8. You get to eat bull's testicles
  9. Gibraltar
  10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN:

  1. Chicken Madras & Cobra Lager
  2. Lamb Passanda & Cobra Lager
  3. Onion Bhaji & Cobra Lager
  4. Chicken Tikka Massala & Cobra Lager
  5. Rogan Josh & Cobra Lager
  6. Bombay Potato & Cobra Lager
  7. Popadoms & Cobra Lager
  8. Chicken Dopiaz & Cobra Lager
  9. Meat Boona & Cobra Lager
  10. Kingfisher Lager

  

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:

  1. Guinness
  2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
  3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
  4. Pubs never close
  5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to pursuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
  6. No one can ever remember the night before
  7. Kill people you don't agree with
  8. Stew
  9. More Guinness
  10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:

  1. It beats being American
  2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
  3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
  4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
  5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
  6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
  7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
  8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins
  9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme
  10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:

  1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted
  2. Fosters Lager
  3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
  4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV
  5. Tact and sensitivity
  6. Bondi Beach
  7. Other beaches
  8. Liberated attitudes to homosexuals
  9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
  10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach

 

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By km• 13 years 8 months ago.
km

i tryed to look at the video but it came up with this mess.

This video has been removed due to terms of use violation. what was on it

By Hamood• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Hamood

1- You can live the best life ever in a 3000ft villa ..

2- you can use the water and the electricity as much as

you want and you don't have to pay a penny ..

3-you can do shopping in these

huge malls with few poeple inside ..

4- Buy every thing my friend there is no damn "taxes"

That's enough .. What can I say more ..

this is the most beautiful and safe country ..

But there is too much "envious" people we should take care ..

By dweller• 14 years 4 months ago.
dweller

We had a seikh guy called Jogunda Kharra in QP.

Unfortunate name for a really great guy.

By butterfly• 14 years 4 months ago.
butterfly

HAHAHAHAH! too many reasons now!

By lamb• 14 years 4 months ago.
lamb

TOP 10 reasons of being an expat in Qatar??

By venom• 14 years 4 months ago.
venom

You can dance with swords to tunes that sound like a really bad CD with a Lot of scratches.

You are mostly NEVER wrong if you meet with an accident even if its obvious that u are.

You can eye everyone else's wife but you can hide ur wife in a burkha.

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
dohagirl

You can have Bookstores with no books and saloons with no alcohol.

Ok, I'm done.

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
dohagirl

You can smoke at StarBucks even though it is technically illegal.

Higher education is for other people...and women...so is working. :)

By getinandstayin• 14 years 4 months ago.
getinandstayin

I went to school with a guy called Michael Ayrey. In arabic thats so disgusting that i cant even translate it :)

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Qatarcat

It just sounds a little funny to a native English language speaker, Aisha. Nothing much. I am sure there are plenty English words that sound funny to you!

;-)

By Aisha• 14 years 4 months ago.
Aisha

Why :-D What does it mean???

By Super7• 14 years 4 months ago.
Super7

I had no idea that was actually someone's name.

Brilliant

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
dohagirl

I agree, great girl, super sweet, but unfortunate name.

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Qatarcat

She just happens to be a great gal too, besides being thus named and being Emir's daughter. So it's a friendly laughter.

:^)

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
dohagirl

Everyone in my office giggles to. But careful, she is the Emir's daughter. ;)

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Qatarcat

Ok that made me laugh so much my boss came to see what was going on (and joined me laughing). So Dohagirl, you were wrong. Your name might be Sheikha Mayassa, of course, but there always be someone out there who WILL laugh...

By coolasice• 14 years 4 months ago.
coolasice

That was really cool....especially the first one.......heheheh

By Super7• 14 years 4 months ago.
Super7

on that note check this out

&eurl=

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
dohagirl

Your name can be Sheikha Mayassa and nobody will laugh.

You can spend thousands of dollars on designer clothes and shoes that nobody is allowed to see.

You can take your $500,000 dollar car out sand duning and not care if it gets wrecked.

You can pop a wheely in a land crusier.

You can smoke a bong in public and nobody thinks it has drugs in it.

By coolasice• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
coolasice

Very Relaxed working hours.........

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Qatarcat

You don't ever have to queue. Ever.

By Super7• 14 years 4 months ago.
Super7

You can save money by not wasting it on needless accessories such as childrens' car seats

You can have a TV installed in your car in the front that doesn't turn off automatically when you drive and can watch cartoons while doing 150 in the fast lane (I saw this last week)

By getinandstayin• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
getinandstayin

You can drive with your foot on the dashboard.

You can substitute perfume for water when you take a bath.

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Qatarcat

LOL if you are bald, it can go completely unnoticed :p

By Qatarcat• 14 years 4 months ago.
Qatarcat

If you are a man you can have up to 4 wives.

If you are a woman you can cover your face and go around doing whatever it is you want to do, incognito.

By Super7• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
Super7

5. You can spray the entire toilet area, walls and floors with water and create a wonderful oasis effect everytime you visit the bathrooom

By Super7• 14 years 4 months ago.
Super7

4. You never need to say "Now what am I going to wear today?"

By dohagirl• 14 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
dohagirl

1. You can drive past a cop in your landcruiser at 150 kms an hour and wave.

2. Your wardrobe consists of long black or white robes, which completly negates the need for underwear.

3. You can walk around in 35 degree heat and complain that it's cold.

I will come up with more later.

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