_Why do we Hurt the One we Love?

By freaky_hot

_i'm young and I'm in-love.
He says he loves me too but when he ignored me for 5 days because he was doing an important personal project, I took it bad, so bad that I openly flirted with some random guy. A stupid act but it was only to get his attention and not to hurt him...well, maybe a little but not too much. Just a simple message saying there are many fishes in the ocean. It's not like I cheated. I never went out with other guys. I chatted and I even talked with one guy on the phone but that's it--nothing more. And yes, I felt wanted and especial.
You may say its pathetic but I say I'm just being normal....ridiculous, but normal!
And now he's hurt. He's hurt but I got hurt first... and now he's hurting me again..

By heartsbeat• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
heartsbeat

if some one really love u he should trust at u in each cases because in our practical life we talk many persons but it does not mean we are making cheating to our partner

and he should give u time if u want

projects nd burden of work is lame excuse

well hope for da best

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By Rainbreed• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rainbreed

Fight fire with fire.... Or consider pain a spice of love..... CanT say anythin more... Unless ive heard the opposites side...:)

By Rainbreed• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rainbreed

Fight fire with fire.... Or consider pain a spice of love..... CanT say anythin more... Unless ive heard the opposites side...:)

By shera• 12 years 4 months ago.
shera

maybe he just want your attention too..sometimes some men are like that they want to make sure of your feelings..just dont do it again.. we never can tell maybe you'll get tempted next time you might even fall for the guy..in this case you're just making it more complicated..im sorry

By heartsbeat• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
heartsbeat

but doing so will u forget all dat moments u spend with him/her ????????????

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wet Eyes Never Lie

By fanonite• 12 years 4 months ago.
fanonite

then stop craving for attention all the time. the last thing that a man wants is a needy, clingy woman in his life. if you trust him then stop playing these small games to gain his attention. you might end up getting the opposite as you do now.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

wot u think??? u and ur guy.. thats ok..do wotever u want.. but...the other guy..wot he did??? are playing with guys???

By ReDbutterfly• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
ReDbutterfly

.. it actually happened to me before hayzz the so called BIG PROJECT turned out to be a BIG CHEATING MOMENTS.. after a week or so i stopped communicating with him when he started to be very busy blah blah blah & made a lot of alibis but i guess he realized that time i am more important more than anything & he got back on track. i didnt knw the cheating escapades until some few months after it happened.. the good thing was he confesses it all to me : / but still totally hurt geezz "/

By liberty guy• 12 years 4 months ago.
liberty guy

instead of make him jalous you should be at his side

maybe he needs u most that time to be with him

it was easy , instead of calling an other fish u should protect ur fish

both of you are miser

i remember the behavior of my X philipina girl

it seems both of you are philipinos

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

You can't correct a mistake with another mistake.

Relationship is always in both ways.

Some guys have all the luck. Some guys do nothing but complain.

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

This is called sexual politics......

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

if you cheat 'em, u don't love 'em... simple!

Best Things in Life are FREE!! ^.^

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

Isn't your stats a bit confusing one shot?

75%

45%

5%

a total of what...? 125%?

not that reliable ;-)

but i got your point... :-)

Best Things in Life are FREE!! ^.^

By anonymous• 12 years 4 months ago.
anonymous

"This is what is meant by character and maturity - the ability to see beyond immediate gratification to the longer term and remember their priorities. And with delayed gratification, things become clear..."

nuff said.

--------------------------------------------------

"Maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phonecalls, brokenhearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope."

By Eagley• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
Eagley

one_shot said I've read a study in 2001 about Germany

something like 75% of partners cheated their other couples with ex-girl friends or friends at least once.

45% of them has cheated more than 3 times.

5% don't have any problem in cheating their couples."

And they're very good cheaters too. One of the best I have met. Took me nearly a year to figure it out but no regrets still - it was an excellent learning experience and I see through BS so much faster nowadays.

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By freaky_hot• 12 years 4 months ago.
freaky_hot

_you right i think i'm to young to be attached.

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By roseesocta@yahoo.com• 12 years 4 months ago.
roseesocta@yahoo.com

she can looking forward to meet another friends or morethan a friend..that is a natural happen to our life were only human..but not too much hurting...

By one_shot• 12 years 4 months ago.
one_shot

cheating wasn't an option in my mind and my friends'

i think so

---------------------------------

MU2M :(

I like French cofee,but it is simply Turkish with milk

By one_shot• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
one_shot

I've read a study in 2001 about Germany

something like 75% of partners cheated their other couples with ex-girl friends or friends at least once.

45% of them has cheated more than 3 times.

5% don't have any problem in cheating their couples.

i still remember this statistic because we were laughing me and my friends more than 2 days ;)

we just couldn't believe the ratio :D

---------------------------------

MU2M :(

I like French cofee,but it is simply Turkish with milk

By roseesocta@yahoo.com• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
roseesocta@yahoo.com

hi..

maybe your young to commit serious relationship..just enjoy life but be careful for every decision u make.. sometimes ,we think it is good but not..be observant little by little u understand..maybe there is the best man 4 u thats why...just wait till u find him your true love..man of your life..change your point of view..

if u getting old its different situation like young age.

By Eagley• 12 years 4 months ago.
Eagley

Sorry, dble postie. QL doesn't like me posting and keeps evicting me.... :0(

By Eagley• 12 years 4 months ago.
Eagley

Straight Arrow said Any one who has a wife or a girl friend and chat with other girl or woman for fun, I consider him totally insane.

This also apply for the woman.

Chatting on the internet is one of the main causes which destroyed many people marriage life."

What the heck is wrong with chatting with a friend of the opposite gender? Absolutely nothing as long as you and your better half are clear where the boundaries are and don't cross them. Basically, if a person is clear on his/her commitments, they would not fall into temptations so easily, no doubt there are other women/men who might try to seduce them - eg. when they're away on business trips, ... on a 5 day project... This is what is meant by character and maturity - the ability to see beyond immediate gratification to the longer term and remember their priorities. And with delayed gratification, things become clear - whether that seductress actually likes you for you or likes your fat bank account (or the perception of your fat bank account - but that's another thing altogether. It is what keeps some men poor but stupidity loves its own company, it seems. I said SOME, ok? GAL!)

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By marie_2• 12 years 4 months ago.
marie_2

we do? hhhhmmmm

...listen to the sound of silence....

By Straight Arrow• 12 years 4 months ago.
Straight Arrow

Any one who has a wife or a girl friend and chat with other girl or woman for fun, I consider him totally insane.

This also apply for the woman.

Chatting on the internet is one of the main causes which destroyed many people marriage life.

By james_w• 12 years 4 months ago.
james_w

FS..no she didnt read it, too busy at work. but she did send me a little message as soon as she work up, i was her first thought of the day! :-)

By Formatted Soul• 12 years 4 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
Formatted Soul

james_w...lol did she just read what you wrote? just curious...

By james_w• 12 years 4 months ago.
james_w

if i was away for 5 days, i would still find just 2 mins to send a text, email or call??

if i had the girl of my dreams, i would be thinking of her all day and night!!

communication is important for the relationship, sit down and discuss, tell each other?

you know what..someone is gonna get a text from me right now ;-)...shes lucky!

By Olive• 12 years 4 months ago.
Olive

If he's disappearing for 5 days without contacting and he's not a top secret spy then he doesn't love you. If you're flirting with another guy, even when you're hurt, you don't love him. Accept that and move on from the relationship.

literal people are scary, man, literal people scare me

out there trying to rid the world of its poetry while getting it wrong fundamentally down at the church of "look,it sez right here, see!" Ani Difranco

By blue_rose• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
blue_rose

hmmmm he should not ignore you for 5 days even if he is doing some important project..if he loves... u you should b as important to him as his project..he cant give just a few mint call in those 5 days...

secondly u done it wrong talking with other guys is not the solution..just wait till his project overs n then ask him..explain to him that u missis him didnt he miss u?just let him realize that u r also important to him

By perfectStranger• 12 years 5 months ago.
perfectStranger

i duno what u saying/doing is right or wrong...I am no one to decide...

i was probably the same...flirt in her absence....

finally realized that may b it was not true love and broke up with her..

today i m by myself..missing her.

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

as u guys point of View a bad move lady

you dont get our attention here but You just make us realise that your not the one

5 days is just a moment a lifetime is a mistake

but here this is not right

i would be hurt the most if u did the same to me

and trust me its not worth it

By one_shot• 12 years 5 months ago.
one_shot

Why do we Hurt the One we Love?

because we are stupid and arrogant and can't appreciate what we really have until we loose them , and when we do we cry for them.

:'(

i lost her and i lost my life with her

---------------------------------

MU2M :(

I like French cofee,but it is simply Turkish with milk

By 220v• 12 years 5 months ago.
220v

freaky..

don't make things more complicated reading all this gossip..this happened 1 month back..i'am sure u both r okay now..

By stealth• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
stealth

Who asked you to go behind him in the first place?

If you cant control your emotions dont fall into all these.

By Khawaga• 12 years 5 months ago.
Khawaga

Freaky: it's simple. He's just not that in to you. His "personal project" was trying to get with another girl. Smoke him and and then throw him away.

By Eagley• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
Eagley

"He says he loves me too but when he ignored me for 5 days because he was doing an important personal project"

Just 5 days? I'd have thought - "Geez! Peace on earth"

But sorry to hear that you took it so bad that you openly flirted with some random guy. Shouldn't play games like these - less trouble for you.

"And now he's hurt. He's hurt but I got hurt first... and now he's hurting me again.."

The pair of you sound like kids fighting in a playground. But I can understand your frustrations esp if you're dealing with another insecure individual. One can only give unconditional love if one is secure himself/herself.

To the thread question -

1) we are capable of hurting the ones we love because they are vulnerable to us.

2) we would not hurt them if we truly loved them, took time to understand and have empathy for them, if we're less selfish and less egocentric.

3)But having said all that, some people are beyond redemption, at least for us, so then it's time to let go and move on.

*****************************************

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.

By nali10• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
nali10

in love there`s should be respect and understanding for each other. he told you that he is doing some important matters so you must understand him. and mind you its not good to be easily carried away by flirting to others while you are committed with someone else...

By 220v• 12 years 5 months ago.
220v

f.hot.. don't worry. everything will be kool..

if not... call me , maybe i can bring back dat smile on ur face.. ;-)

By freaky_hot• 12 years 5 months ago.
freaky_hot

_Dont judge me because you don't know, never have and never will

know every lil thing about me...

_anyways,iam freaky_hot what the use of my screen name then.

I just put somthing related.

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By freaky_hot• 12 years 5 months ago.
freaky_hot

_you are right, i'am keeping him so bad.

Thnx

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By ouiyesyesyes• 12 years 5 months ago.
ouiyesyesyes

girl, if you are in your right mind, and you want a serious relationship..look what's in your profile:

Interest: MALLING, CLUBBING, BOYYYYSSSSSSS

omg what a girl........

By bhie_09• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
bhie_09

try to mov on, and forget the past..

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
anonymous

there is a very famous song..' i love you because you understand me...'

love is not a game of chess..

By gwen01• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
gwen01

well it's up to you if you'll continue hurting each other with a nonsense issue.. it's more on COMMUNICATION dear. you care for him so u must tell him everything what u feel. if u dont care for him and dont affected to what he's doing, ignore him. but as i read ur message, u need a simple talk thats all.

By soniya• 12 years 5 months ago.
soniya

Its a TIT FOR TAT policy, u know..u could have given him a space for sometime..every men needs it atleast for a while in their life..and woman are supposed to be a helping hand for man..what u did was really a mean part from ur side..sorry to say this..

By SajanSajan• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
SajanSajan

DOING WHAT YOU LIKE IS FREEDOM & LIKING WHAT U DO IS HAPINESS.. SO OBEY YOUR HEART & NOT UR MIND...

By mild_red• 12 years 5 months ago.
mild_red

~stupid? yeah, definitely but is it unforgivable? young ones always do stupid things like this. girl, you have to get your act together, just learn from this mistake. to the guy, hey, your girl is sorry...be the bigger person and cut her some slack and pls don't play the double-standard thing

!Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!

By shoeaddict• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
shoeaddict

its not going to end not unless you want it.

think of it in a different perspective-if he drives you crazy by ignoring you,do not return the favor by doing the same thing.unless you want a never-ending sadism masochism love,angry, violent, relationship,yes?

CUT and CUT CLEANLY.

By freaky_hot• 12 years 5 months ago.
freaky_hot

_i did say that! i'm not denying that what i did was stupid, no need to emphasize

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By Salmamohd• 12 years 5 months ago.
Salmamohd

I would say u acted so STUPID!

By jokker• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
jokker

+| Jokk3R |+

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
anonymous

just don't do it when you're married! Try to enjoy your singleness to the fullest (with normal limitations) and be responsible when you both decide to settle down!

***********************************************

"Why is my PM access blocked?"

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
anonymous

leelah just trying to comfort the girl, otherwise ofcourse it meant something ;-)

"Live with passion, Die with style"

By freaky_hot• 12 years 5 months ago.
freaky_hot

_i got the idea from him when he was the one who flirted before... but in this recent situation ,personal projects or big projects, he can't spare me 5 minutes of his time?

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By leelah• 12 years 5 months ago.
leelah

all that didn't mean a thing to you?ahhhhhh

By sonaam• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
sonaam

you are young and you are in love, No Pain no gain dont worry everything will be all right ;)

...................................................................................

सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु

..................................................................................

By mr_qatar• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
mr_qatar

dont talk to other guys..its bad for your relationship with your lover....just talk,walk,sit,stand, &.... with the one whom you love or who loves you..

"War is not fought to determin who is right, only who is left".

By t_coffee_or_me• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 2/5
t_coffee_or_me

In your own words He was doing a personal project not flirting

 

 

 

[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By ajish• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 4/5
ajish

well all dat i can say is wat u did is offcourse wrong but if u really luv him n believe dat he luvs u the same way,FIGHT FOR YOUR LUV...

itz always easy to c a relation break dear,but to patch it up,ITZ SUMTHIN REALLY HARD!!!

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 5/5
anonymous

Don't take online flirting too seriously.. I flirt with pretty much everyone here, well try to anyway. Doesn't mean a thing.

You could have confronted him back then if it made you uncomfortable.

"Live with passion, Die with style"

By freaky_hot• 12 years 5 months ago.
freaky_hot

_i still trusted him because i understood what he was trying to do...what i did was not retaliatory...i just thought that when i gave him a dose of his own meds then maybe he'd get the point and understand me too...

_♥♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥♥_

_tEacH mE fLy, tAkE mE high_

By anonymous• 12 years 5 months ago.
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

The one who doesn't love me won't get emotionally hurt due to whatever I do so we actually can hurt only the ones who love us..

As for your relationship, well you did something stupid to gain attention and now he can't trust you anymore.

"Live with passion, Die with style"

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