THE DIANA INQUEST (An alternative view of Fayed's 'day in court')

jauntie
By jauntie

 

DIANA MURDERED INQUEST HEARS

 

Princess Diana and Didi Dodi Fayed were murdered, Mohamed "Call me Al" Fayed has told the inquest into their deaths in a car crash in Paris in August 1997.

Harabs boss and father of Didi Dodi, Mr Fayed outlined his belief there was a conspiracy involving Prince Philip, alias Obergruppenfuhrer von Frankenstein, Prince Charles and MI6 to murder Diana thus enabling the Prince of Wales to marry his concubine, Camilla Parkya-Balls. He accused the Israeli Secret Service Mossad of hiring a hit-squad of dissident Serbian Chetniks led by General Dushan Sonovabic and MI6 of recruiting Henri Paul, Didi Dodi's chauffeur, for a suicide mission.

Mr Fayed said there had been a massive cover-up which included the Princess's sister Sarah McCorquodale, two former Scotland Yard Commissioners Lord Condom
and Lord Stevens, two French pathologists, the French police, the French Foreign Legion, the French Establishment, the Count of Monte Cristo, Vladimir Putin,
the Masonic Lodge P2, the Illuminati, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the Lord Lieutenant of Buckinghamshire, Robert Mugabe, the President of Bolivia and A. Partridge who was hiding in a pear tree to avoid testifying at the inquest.

Mr Fayed insisted that Diana was pregnant by Didi Dodi at the time of her death. He knew this because his security operatives at the Paris Hilton had substituted her contraceptive pills for tic-tacs and because the Voices told him so.

As the court adjourned a clearly distressed Mr Fayed was helped from the witness box by two men in white coats.

Paris Hilton is 26.

 

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
Written by Nacho Mac
Story written: 18 February 2008
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