Entertainment

Isang Kanong Businessman ang pumunta sa Japan. Unang gabi sa Hotel nag-hire siya ng Local Hooker. Ng nasa kama na sila, panay ang ang sigaw ng Haponesa, Fujipoo!, Fujipoo!

Sabi ng Kano sa sarile, "Aba, talagang mahusay pa rin ako sa kama at nasisiyahan ang partner ko!!

Next day, nag laro ang Kano ng Golf kasama ang Japanese counterpart. On the third hole, naka "Hole-in-One" ang Japanese. Para ma-impressed ang kaniyang kleyente, sumigaw siya ng "Fujifoo!, Fujifoo!!

Japanese: (Confused) "Anong ibig mong sabihin na maling Butas"

Sagot na pagpipilian:

A: Isang wife giver. Isang wife beater
B: Isang kampeon. Isang kampon
C: Isang future politician. Dating politician
D: Winner. Loser
E: Guni-guni lang hindi si Chavit 'yan

Biro

hay naku

Kumusta ka

Robin Hood playing at Vllagio Screen 5.

ROBINHOOD
-(Malayalam)

Showing in
SCREEN 5
12.45+ 3.30 + 6.15 + 9.00 + 11.45 PM.

n the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so.

One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, "guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?')

Since the boy didn't speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino, of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I", and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom.

Adios, patria adorada, polluted na ang karsada
Perla del mar de trapiko, nuestro perdido tambutso
A darte voy a brownout, para ka na ring na-knock out
A fuera mas mainit, taong bayan nagngingitngit
Tambien por ti la diera, para tayong nasa giyera.

En campos de basura, singhutando con delirio
Otros te dan sus microbio, sin duda, con ubo
Emergency power nada importa, Ramos de Venecia o Angara
Napocor o Meralco cerrado, generator o cruel martirio
Lo mismos es so expensive, por la pitaka de Pandoy.

Yo muero cuando veo, patay na raw and kabayo
Y al fin anuncia el dia, matrapik daw sa Buendia
Si grana necesitas, para close down las fabricas
Vierte la sangre mia, kawawa ang maralita
Y dorela un reflejo, de apat na kandila.

Passengers on a Philippine Airlines flight heard this announcement from the captain, Capt. Juan Procopio:
"Mga kababayan, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement:

"Mga kababayan, we at Philippine Airlines have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"

As commented by one of the passengers:

"Galing, that's what i like about PAL, always has some contingency measures of some sort!, I hope they help me out

(Sung to the tune of WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND)

Christmas rush, are you list'ning
In the lanes, cops are whist'ling
A horrible sight, another long night
Caught in a Manila Traffic Jam.

There's a jam in Ayala
There's a flood in Buendia
A bus cuts me here, a truck hits my rear
Caught in a Manila Traffic Jam.

It will be this way until Tayuman
We'll see jeepneys stopped when they should go
We'll ask, "Nasiraan?" He'll say, "No man."
Naghihintay ako ng pasahero!"

Later on, we'll perspire
As we fix a flat tire.
We're moving so slow, we can't seem to go.
Caught in a Manila Traffic Jam.

Thanks Angel!